Struggling to cope with the 'high'

[SmexelbY]

I suffer with Bipolar type two, so the highs are less frequent. I always thought that I was unlucky for this, but now I am experiencing one of the most intense highs I've ever been on and because I hardly ever have them I don't know how to handle it! I hate myself, I'm doing and saying reckless things which hurt people, I'm hallucinating, hearing things, becoming severely delusional... I don't know what to do, please someone help? I've ended up spending my pitiful wages and some of my savings in two days. I'm scared I'm going to do something that will drastically hurt those around me and leave me picking up the pieces when I inevitably crash. I feel like I'm going to do something that will ruin my life...

[LaLa]

Hello, SmexelbY, welcome .

I'm sorry you've been struggling . I suppose you're in some kind of therapy, so the first logical "advise" it to consult your doctor or therapist. Have you some supportive family members or friends who could go there with you? Can they help you a bit with this state, or do they feel similarly helpless as you do?

I'm sorry I'm not very helpful, but I don't have personal experience with this problem. However, I'm sure consulting a professional should be a good step to do.

Take care!

[malign]

Welcome, Smexelby. One thought that occurs to me is whether you're medicated. Some anti-depressants lift bipolar people up into the manic phase, but as you've found, that's not a desirable side-effect and should be reported immediately to your prescriber for a possible med change.

It can help to have some other person available who knows about your diagnosis and what your "normal" is, to give you a second opinion and maybe even some restraint. If there isn't such a person and you feel concern that your behavior is putting you in danger, this is one of those situations where a brief hospital stay may be in order.

[SmexelbY]

Hello, SmexelbY, welcome .

I'm sorry you've been struggling . I suppose you're in some kind of therapy, so the first logical "advise" it to consult your doctor or therapist. Have you some supportive family members or friends who could go there with you? Can they help you a bit with this state, or do they feel similarly helpless as you do?

I'm sorry I'm not very helpful, but I don't have personal experience with this problem. However, I'm sure consulting a professional should be a good step to do.

Take care!

No, thank you so much this is helpful I promise. I know you are right and my care team are the first people I should speak with. Family members and friends have less than an understanding than I do so I'm pretty lost. Plus it's just one thing after another with me, they'll be too fed up to listen.

[SmexelbY]

Welcome, Smexelby. One thought that occurs to me is whether you're medicated. Some anti-depressants lift bipolar people up into the manic phase, but as you've found, that's not a desirable side-effect and should be reported immediately to your prescriber for a possible med change.

It can help to have some other person available who knows about your diagnosis and what your "normal" is, to give you a second opinion and maybe even some restraint. If there isn't such a person and you feel concern that your behavior is putting you in danger, this is one of those situations where a brief hospital stay may be in order.

Thank you for the support, I've felt pretty alone where no one seems to understand. Being depressed people will give you advice and some comfort, but being manic.. They just shy away and don't have a clue what is going on. It's like they are terrified to be around me. I do take medication. I'm on a high dosage of a mood stabiliser, and last week the decision was made to come off of one anti-depressant and on to another. Ironically coming off the anti-depressant for a few days seemed to make the mania slightly worse.

Everything is so confusing

[malign]

Fewer people ever see diagnosable mania (who knows how many people see it under circumstances where they assume it's "normal" for the person, so they avoid the person after that.)

Especially with the recent med change, I hope you do talk to the care team soon. Mania can be dangerous, and even more so when you're not accustomed to it.

[SmexelbY]

Fewer people ever see diagnosable mania (who knows how many people see it under circumstances where they assume it's "normal" for the person, so they avoid the person after that.)

Especially with the recent med change, I hope you do talk to the care team soon. Mania can be dangerous, and even more so when you're not accustomed to it.

I'm so scared, I took an NHS online questionnaire to assess my mood, and I really wanted it to come out that I wasn't manic so I even underestimated the question answers... And it still came out with a severe mania. I just want to cry I'm so scared. Definitely need to contact someone tomorrow first thing in the morning. I will reply here when I know what they say. Thank you so much for the support. I find everything really hard to understand so if I'm ignoring everything then I do apologise.

Thanks again.

[malign]

Do you have any friends who can sit with you? I guess it's getting late over there; do you think you can sleep at all (it's hard to do much harm when you're sleeping)?

One thing I would point out that's encouraging: unlike many people whose manic posts I've read, yours still are complete thoughts and individually punctuated. That suggests that you're more grounded than perhaps you feel.

Take care, and try not to worry. You seem to have considerable presence of mind at your disposal, and you should keep in mind the option of calling for help if you start to feel too out of control.

[SmexelbY]

Do you have any friends who can sit with you? I guess it's getting late over there; do you think you can sleep at all (it's hard to do much harm when you're sleeping)?

One thing I would point out that's encouraging: unlike many people whose manic posts I've read, yours still are complete thoughts and individually punctuated. That suggests that you're more grounded than perhaps you feel.

Take care, and try not to worry. You seem to have considerable presence of mind at your disposal, and you should keep in mind the option of calling for help if you start to feel too out of control.

I have my partner but he doesn't understand, and he is getting abuse from my part because of how agitated I feel. Yes I've always been good at punctuation and phrasing, but I find on a high I write with more complicated words but it feels like I am writing in the dark because to me none of it makes sense. Thank you though, that does make me feel better. Another thing is where I haven't been able to sleep much at night - I frequently wake up and stay awake for hours on end - I find myself noding off during the day.

I'm pretty intelligent too which helps, but also can be a hindrance because I know the harsh truth all too well and struggle to see any other side to it.

[LaLa]

I can only agree with M.

I'm sorry your partner doesn't understood .

How long have you been bipolar? You mentioned you already had got some manic episodes, although rare. It would be good for both to familiarize him with some theory about the disease and some advises for relatives living with people with it - I'm sure you could find some helpful websites (if not books)... There may be a way for him to even help you (not only himself ) to deal with it.

I hope you'll tell your doc tomorrow also about the troubles with sleep. They can be related to the BP or to medication, but there should be a way to allow you to sleep more...

Are you able to focus on some harmless activities and stick with them despite urges to do something "crazy" (as spending money, ...)? I know one woman with bipolar (a member here) who has often used her energy and the other aspects of the mania to create wonderful pieces of art. Are you creative in any way? Can you paint, write, compose, ... when feeling the excess of energy and need to "do something"? Even your confusion and fear can be vented by creative work.

I'm pretty intelligent too which helps, but also can be a hindrance because I know the harsh truth all too well and struggle to see any other side to it.

Is there something about "the harsh truth" you are aware of that you'd like to 'talk' about here?

[SmexelbY]

My first suicide attempt was a day after my eighth birthday. It was nothing serious but even before that I remember being depressed. I'm nineteen now and only had a handful of manic periods similar to this. Thank you, yes I will do because he's scared for me too. Yes I am very musical and looking for a career in composition one day. Maybe check out my page if you'd like? soniaexelby.tumblr.com haha sorry I feel bad for doing that but the piano piece on there I wrote when I was on a high. I do get very creative!

And well, I find it hard to explain and where I don't really know what I'm doing/who I am right now it's even harder. But an expample would be when people constantly drill it in to you that you have to be the one to help yourself. I know that all too well which is why I struggle so much.

[pinktiger]

Hello just read your post i got diangnosed with biopolar type 2 3 months ago iv suffered for 8 years and everytime i went too the doctors they just put me on depression tablets but they didnt help they made me worse and it was only because i demanded for proper profesional help at last iv got my diagnosion. I knew deep down something was wrong as i have more downs then ups and i have these things called 'episodes' about 3 times a year where i will get money no matter how and just go shopping too make me feel good i would drink alcohol go on binges and dont know what im doing i put my self at risk i hurt others around me and i push the people close too me away. Now i do feel a bit better knowing there is a name for what i have and on meds what my phsychiatrist prescribed me and have it under control....well i hope i have only been on them for 2 months but still not feeling like i want too,just giving it time. I f you need too talk IM here.

[pinktiger]

Im 26 been ill since i was 18 i also have a boyfriend of 3 years and i act like a b***h to him he struggles too cope with me at times especially when i go through my 'episodes' he can tell the signs but then tries a sort of reverse phsycholgy on me dunno how too take it he threatens too give up on me but that can go 2 ways i either get worse and just get into a state emosh and wanna cry all the time or try and keep it together but dont always work. Like i say you are not on your own hun im here if you do wnat to talk or confide in me nite or day

[ashley2012]

i have a terrible anger issue. I go straight from geting upset to so angry that the police almost has to be called on me. I am scared for myself because i know i can hurt people and try not to. i need help!