Almost 3 weeks. ..

[pornisbadforyou]

Almost 3 weeks without internet porn. All I can think about is sex. Feeling pretty potent right now like I need to view and release the tension. It's so easy to view when there so much of an urge to and no girlfriend in sight. I've been doing everything to distract myself, I still want to go for at least four weeks to see any marked change in my impotence, or my need for porn. Getting semi hard spontanious erections...Havn't had spontanious erections since I was 16, but I when I was 16 they were much harder still, plus I didnt have to wait 3 weeks to get them...If abstaining from masterbation and porn for a prolinged period of time is going to have a healing/ rejuvinating effect, I am not yet satisfied, almost 3 weeks in....but I am noticing a difference.

I still believe abstaining is the cure for me. I want to get the point where simply fantasizing about girl, or seeing one in public gets me going again. I havn't made any attempts to meet new girls, partly becuase I don't believe I am better enough yet ( I mentioned before I couldn't 'perform' the last time I was with a girl) which was really depressing, but nothing new; but I also havn't chatted up any girls because I dont want to have sex even if I could. Even though I believe real sex would not be one tenth as harmful to my recovery as viewing porn, to reset my body and brain properly, I think its best to fully abstain, even from real sex if the opportunity arises.

But Im not sure if this is all good. I think porn made me view women more as sex objects, now when I really killing for sex, I am viewing them as purely sex objects. I'm not shallow, but I am also not particularly bothered by this, It doesn;t personaly conflict with my own morality, its not soemthing that is tearing me apart, however I am not sure it is healthy. I was thinking that abstaining from porn would make me think of sex lesss.... Perhaps this will go away in time.