I CAN'T COPE.

[ThePetPerson]

I didn't get into hospital, there were no spaces and admitting me to an adult ward was deemed unecessary as it could be traumatic. I have been seeing people every day, and I have an admission date for the 27th of December.

Not soon enough. It's just literally right now hit me. I cannot cope. I can't.

[IrmaJean]

I'm sorry you have to wait so long. I hear that you feel overwhelmed. Can you stay in contact with your therapist? What has helped you cope in the past? We're here and listening.

[malign]

Maybe part of why it hit you all at once is that you were looking ahead. "One day at a time" is good advice for anybody.

What does it take to get through the next hour?

We'll do whatever we can to help; you know that.

[Lana73]

I am thinking about you,O. Sending warm hugs and best wishes your way.

[ThePetPerson]

I am feeling so fantastic. Everything is fantastic and wonderful and brilliant. I love life.

[IrmaJean]

Hmm...

It's always okay to be honest about your feelings. Did something more happen that frustrates you?

[malign]

People are going to be lining up (queuing up) to ask for a copy of your prescription. :-P

You know, the fact that we hope you find happiness doesn't make it some kind of obligation. Does it feel that way to you? Like, if only you were happy, all these people would leave you alone so you could be properly sad?

It must be very difficult, feeling like you need to ask for help, and then accepting that help will probably mean being confined with a group of people with similar problems for an undefined period of time. Especially as a teenager, I know I hated the idea of being "seen", like that; of letting people, especially strangers, into my world. You can believe nobody knew what I was thinking, at that age. I used to sit in a tree twenty feet off the ground for an hour or two after school, just to avoid family, much less strangers.

What does all that mean?

o) You're not alone, others have felt similarly.

o) Everything changes, or at least most things: I didn't feel that way all my life. Later, when I needed to, I went to a hospital voluntarily and shared a room with strangers and talked about what I was thinking. And I learned a lot more about talking, later, when I came to this site.

o) There's hope, because you're a good person and lots of people are pulling for you.

I'm sorry it's so painful.

[ThePetPerson]

My prescription is pretty crap, taking 14 antihistamine tablets does you some good though.

[IrmaJean]

I know you said the adults with you don't know how much you're struggling, but is there any way to remove your access to medications? O, I'm concerned for you. How can we help support you through this? Sending my care.

[malign]

Well, it certainly ensures that you're free of histamine.

Pet, I don't want to sound like I'm challenging you in some way, if that's how I sound. There are literally dozens of common household items that can kill a person, and that's just by ingestion. Humans are fairly fragile, actually. It's not a huge accomplishment to find a way to kill one; it's a huge accomplishment to help one learn to live happily. I prefer challenges of that sort; I'm sorry you didn't have someone who could help you with that learning earlier in your life.

Take care, sweety.