Girlfriend Here

[Perseverance]

Victim I'm to that point too. I'll do just about anything just to make sure my GF is happy because I love her. Even if it means using toys. Hell she can use toys on me I really don't care. She's been with me for almost a year and we plan on taking things further. And again I'm sure shes been with bigger guys but I guess I work for her. We looked at vibrators and dildos before in a store and she kinda was like "meh" and was more into the body paints and oils and stuff. I kinda hope one day she gets interested in a vibrator or a dildo or something. Would be kind of cool to see how she reacts to something big inside of her. I dunno. I'm really down for whatever just as long as we continue to have a strong and loving relationship.

Oh and by the way the other night some guy put his hand on my GF at the bar and I went off and made the guy leave the bar or I said I'd kick the shit out of him. Guess that counts as confidence. Made my stand that no one puts their hands on my GF. Sucks some dude touched her but at the same time it was a good chance to demonstrate how I'm not going to tolerate that kind of shit. Hope it turned her on lol.

[malign]

Well, "pigs" seems like a strong word for a support site ...

And as far as I can see, most of the guys are obsessing about pleasing the other person; they just believe that only big guys can do it (in a way they're prepared to live with.) It's possible that there are aspects of perfectionism layered on top of that, but fundamentally, pleasing their partner seems to be the basis of the entire problem. Or rather, the certainty that they can't ... and the belief that if they could, they would be able to control the rest of how the relationship turns out.

For instance, I seriously doubt that a woman cheats on a man because the man is small. Why? Because how would she know how big the next guy is! If size was an issue for her, wouldn't she just say so? Instead, I think she wouldn't even be in that situation unless she had already left the relationship, emotionally, for some other reason. But blaming his size, or just the accusation of him being small, whether true or not, is a lot easier for her than to admit that she just wasn't willing to be faithful.

[Jessie]

For instance, I seriously doubt that a woman cheats on a man because the man is small. Why? Because how would she know how big the next guy is! If size was an issue for her, wouldn't she just say so?

because for small guys the 'next guy' will be bigger for sure... and girls know that.

and girls don't always admit the truth about size issues - out of fear of hurting someones feelings

[Jessie]

@ Jesse - in my humble opinion articles like the one above are really just pornography in disguise. There are guys that get off on that kind of thing.

those 'mini surveys' have been done for over 20 years. They go into bars or high streets and ask girls questions. Its lurid but its not made up.

[IrmaJean]

Aside from the specifics of the womens' comments, why date anyone who talks about a part of your body in such a disrespectful way? We're all human beings, not objects for the purpose of someone's physical gratifications.

My personal thoughts...

[Cece.dedesl]

It's been my experience that men and women usual have prerequisites for their future girlfriends and boyfriends. However, when they actually meet someone who makes them happy that mental list seems a lot less important.

For instance, my current bf wanted someone who wanted children. He never once considered dating someone who was done with that part of her life but we connected and he decided our connection was more important than his list.

I wanted someone who was confident and was able to fix things. My ex was the type who thought he was handy around the house but only ended making a bigger mess. Lol My current bf is neither of those things but I connected with him anyways.

My point is, all the surveys in the world will never predict how someone will react when they connect with another person so they are pretty worthless in my opinion.

[Perseverance]

I agree with cece.

I think you make a connection and form a bond with someone alot of things that may be important start to fade. I mean if there's one or two things I don't like that my GF does its never going to change how I feel about her. The girl always puts a smile on my face. If she lost both of her breasts I wouldn't go anywhere. Don't get me wrong i love her body. It's killer. But if it changed beyond her control I wouldn't love her any less. And it's going to. She mentioned her breasts sagging in the future. I was like "can't wait, ill take your perky tits your saggy tits or whatever. I love your tits regardless" I really do have unconditional love for her and her body. I can't see why she couldn't feel the same about me.

[Suzi]

Normal woman here. . .for the most part anyway. Like I said he is nice, nice to be with, funny. He is very tall, a big guy. I don't know why he chose to tell me rather than just be with me. . . Making it long term in a relationship is hard enough. He spoke of the effort of trying again when he knows how it will end. Like after a few weeks we will have this talk that is about me not being pleased. I wish we could just relax and go one step at a time. We don't need to predict the future or predict a bad future. So I suggested we wait just a little while. Get more comfortable with each other before sex. I explained to him that have been with a smaller guy before, been with a couple of guys not capable of sex. It is kind of the luck of the draw and I would not stop seeing someone based on size alone. I am willing to talk about it.

[dvnJ22]

your a good woman suzi, I hope everything goes well.

[Suzi]

I agree with cece.

I think you make a connection and form a bond with someone alot of things that may be important start to fade. I mean if there's one or two things I don't like that my GF does its never going to change how I feel about her. The girl always puts a smile on my face. If she lost both of her breasts I wouldn't go anywhere. Don't get me wrong i love her body. It's killer. But if it changed beyond her control I wouldn't love her any less. And it's going to. She mentioned her breasts sagging in the future. I was like "can't wait, ill take your perky tits your saggy tits or whatever. I love your tits regardless" I really do have unconditional love for her and her body. I can't see why she couldn't feel the same about me.

[Suzi]

You bring up a good point about the loss of a breast. And women do go thru a similar thing. But it usually happens later in life. . .these guys are suffering mentally much earlier. There are times a woman's marriage does not make it thru chemo or the loss of the breast. . .some marriages are already on the rocks before the cancer. i guess you can tell i worked for a surgeon who did mastectomy. ..

[Suzi]

I am going to leave. I think that women being on here is stopping you all from using this site.. .and I think you all need each other. I want to say that a true relationship is more than just sex. In here I hear lower your standards find someone not as hot, someone older, someone??? NO find the one that makes your heart sing. Get to know each other, make sure there is something there before climbing into bed. I wish you all the best.

[Girlfriend-here]

So true suzi!!! Good luck with the man u were seeing.... If ur still seeing him... Hope he can see past his insecurities :-)

[Wastedlife]

I think you make a connection and form a bond with someone alot of things that may be important start to fade.

I don't want connections, I just want to pick a hot chick in a club and have a wild night of crazy sex...you cant do that with a 3-4 inch penis.

[Perseverance]

I don't want connections, I just want to pick a hot chick in a club and have a wild night of crazy sex...you cant do that with a 3-4 inch penis.

You think you can't. Are you out there even trying? Personally my stint of sleeping around wasn't all that I thought it was going to be like. It was like bang some chick, high five your buddy and that's it. I thought it was going to be way more awesome than it was. If anything I was just happy knowing people actually wanted to fuck me. And yes some even wanted to fuck me again. I'm with my GF now and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. My friends all want to fuck other girls rather than their GF. I don't get it. Maybe I'm weird but I much rather have sex with my GF than anyone else. But you certainly can fuck a hot chick. Eat her pussy first make her cum then I think she could care less how big your dick is. Man up. Tell her I'm going to eat that pussy like a wild man then I'm going to fuck you with this lil dick. That'd be my game plan if I were you. And it would work. I dunno man I've fucked mostly better than average looking girls. Few ugly ones (booze) and a few really hot ones. I'd ask myself during the hot ones "how the hell is this chick letting me fuck her" being the dude with the tiny dick.

[Bundy]

About the whole cunniligus thing; isn't it risky to go down on on someone without protection, especially when the encounter is of casual nature? Made me remember one of my three failed sexual experiences some months ago that were pretty much only casual flings. One wanted me to eat her out, and I refused to do it without a dental dam, and she really hated these for some reason, so the night stopped right there.

I guess it all comes down to personal experience, but I'm inclined to think that casual sex just isn't a small mans game. I mean, it's not set in stone or anything, but a buddy of mine with similar endowments said that you really need a particulary thick skin if you want to have your fun, and he is pretty much a womanizer, but still had his fair share of embarassments, even though I assume he's very experienced.

I wonder, what is casual sex for average and big guys like? Is this whole meaningless sex thing complicated and awkward for them to? Do average sized guys often run into size queens in that kind of environment, are people who engage in casual sex generally shallow?

I know that for really big guys, they occasionally run into women that can't deal with their size, so maybe this whole thing is just painful for everyone?

Small guys have to deal with cruel persons, average guys with size queens (kings? I don't know what a gay guy is called with a size preferences) and big guys with people that can't handle them?

Seems like it's a crapshot for everyone, unless your penis is exactly average/big borderline territory and you just happen to be the grand champion in oral satisfication, lol

[Perseverance]

Yea oral like that is risky but fuck it I say. I know that's foolish but you have to play your hand the best you can. Plus a week of antibiotics will clear that shit right up.

Personally the one night stand thing is gross to me. I did it briefly with a fair share of girls and it amazed me what some of these girls would do in the 30 minutes I met them. I mean I went through with it basically to find out if I could even pull that shit off with what I'm packing. Needless to say it worked. Made me feel a tad bit better.

My weakness is relationships. I care WAYyyyyy too much about satisfying my parter. Scared to be not good enough with someone I love deeply. Ehh. I'm getting a million times better though.

I'm

Owning up to my lil dick more and more everyday. Soon the world will know lol. Ehh like I've been telling myself ill be dead one day so I might as well enjoy myself and stop stressing over this shit.

Supposedly stress shrinks the brain. Don't need anymore shrinkage than I already have. Ha

[malign]

Isn't "scared to be not good enough" really the basis for this whole thing? Or perhaps the pre-existing belief of not being good enough, and the search for a reason ...

The problem is that any measurement of "good enough" that's based on what other people think by its very nature makes you entirely dependent on what other people think. That's a boatload of power to be giving away to random strangers ... Most of whom, as we all have experienced, aren't worthy of that responsibility.

Is it possible we're all "good enough" right out of the box, no modifications required?

[gone]

(snip)

Supposedly stress shrinks the brain. Don't need anymore shrinkage than I already have. Ha

So does beer. BUT......I still enjoy a Sam Adams Black and a good cigar every once in a great while......

John

[Perseverance]

Isn't "scared to be not good enough" really the basis for this whole thing? Or perhaps the pre-existing belief of not being good enough, and the search for a reason ...

The problem is that any measurement of "good enough" that's based on what other people think by its very nature makes you entirely dependent on what other people think. That's a boatload of power to be giving away to random strangers ... Most of whom, as we all have experienced, aren't worthy of that responsibility.

Is it possible we're all "good enough" right out of the box, no modifications required?

Well yea. I guess that's the problem with ego. But I really don't believe you're good enough out of the box. I work to build a stronger relationship all the time. Drove 45 minutes just to surprise her with flowers, do little things to let her know I think of her. Improve my body for myself and her. I want to be a good catch in her eyes. We both benefit from each other trying to enhance each others lives. So I lump the penis thing in there as well. The idea of some dude fucking the girl I love way better than me drives a stake into my chest. It sucks. Wether it's unhealthy or not it's a thought. It sucks. I never felt so concerned with one night stands.

I had a girl moan when I stuck in my nervous semi hard penis in her once(one night stand). I actually laughed out loud. Iike come on stop that nonsense. She was trying to make me feel better. The sex was terrible and I never got upset about the size or my failure to deliver. I don't know her so fuck it.

You know I figured if my current GF actually marries me ill be cured of this. I have no clue if its true but shes probably slept with many larger men than me. If she is willing to spend the rest of her days with my penis then that should say enough. I know she won't though if I keep bring this shit up though.

Maybe I'm foolish for feeling this way. I dunno. This is what I've been molded into from years of penis torture.

Eh.. What makes me feel better is getting into shape. I've never had an amazing body and I'm working my ass off towards that. So if I can't give her the best penis ill prob turn her on more by having some sexy arms and some abs. It's good for both of us. Yes I do realize there is way to much emphasis on my body but all I know is when I lost 50lbs I felt a million times better. It's only going to get better for me as I progress. It's working for me.

Lol I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about anymore.

[Jeep]

.

[malign]

Jeep, my father was fond of a pseudo-Latin phrase: "Non illegitimus carborundum."

He translated it as "Don't let the bastards grind you down."

Most people who will offer you an opinion of your quality haven't earned the right to hold one.

[Raffi@]

Well yea. I guess that's the problem with ego. But I really don't believe you're good enough out of the box. I work to build a stronger relationship all the time. Drove 45 minutes just to surprise her with flowers, do little things to let her know I think of her. Improve my body for myself and her. I want to be a good catch in her eyes. We both benefit from each other trying to enhance each others lives. So I lump the penis thing in there as well.

Great comment! No one is born with full confidence, we need to earn it. And by doing little things like this we build it up

[Wutty3]

It may be just a matter of semantics but I always thought that confidence was "learned" rather than "earned" , I have to "earn" someone's respect or trust. I "learn" or gain confidence from acceptance and positive feedback from others.. For example...I learned how to work on computers and I am quite good at it. I gained the confidence to apply for a job and get that job. I earn a good living at it because I am confident I can do it and I do it well. I must say that fear is a killer of confidence. That is where cultural and social influences come in. We that are small or perceive we are small have these influences to contend with. We see all the "big=good small=bad" attitudes at every turn. The recently touted evolutionary psychology studies that say women do indeed prefer larger over smaller is a prime example. It does nothing but help to destroy any confidence one might try to gain if he is on the left side of the bell curve. If one is on the right side of the bell curve then their confidence is validated. I on the other hand am going to have to sail across the ocean in a canoe instead of an ocean liner. Remember the saying "It's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean"? Well according to these new studies, you're not going to sail from New York to London and make it there in a canoe. I guess "Fake it 'til you make it" Is one of the few options left to us. You just better have a thick skin to use this method.

[Jeep]

.