dvnJ22 Posted January 6, 2013 Report Share Posted January 6, 2013 I don't wanna be a downer but suicide just seems like a much better option then going on. I can't seem to see how my future will get any better. I'm afraid of another psychotic break. I know there are people going through a lot more then me, but that's just the thing - I'm a weakling - I feel as if I don't deserve to live. I feel as though I am Nature's mistake.I'm just am so tired of crying, waking up, taking pills, applying for jobs that I can't get.... I just want to sleep and never wake up. So the big question I have, is it worth it? Does it get better like everyone says? DedaOrdixer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 6, 2013 Report Share Posted January 6, 2013 I believe there is always hope, yes. I'm sorry you are feeling so down. We're all vulnerable beings. This can be a beautiful thing too. I hope you will not judge yourself harshly. Do you have support there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I have support, but I don't like to talk to my family to much about my probelms - they get worried (sometimes angry). I don't even feel like a man sometimes, just see my post on the SPS board. Anyway thanks for the help. BTW I'm half Apache and really I liked your sig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana73 Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 Hi Dvn, I too suffer from depression and it does hit sometimes so hard that I feel It is not worth fighting it. I try to get myself busy and just take one day at the time. I also ask myself if it will ever get better. I don't know.... Future always brings hope. I have also learned how to find happiness by enjoying simple things in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 7, 2013 Report Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm sorry you are hurting, dvn. I hear you. What makes you a man and the person who you are comes from deep within, though, don't you think? My feeling is it isn't about the size or shape of any body parts...in one way or the other...it's about your heart and your mind. I hope you are able to accept yourself.I love the Apache blessing that I'm using as my new signature. I'm glad you like it too. I find it very beautiful.Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvnJ22 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Your right irma, I've always believed that it's on the inside that's important, but recent;y more then usual what cruel/superficial people think has bothered me. But it's kind of stupid because some of the best people in history where considered ugly. I have a problem with concentrating on the positive things. But I'm just trying to be happy that I am alive with good friends and three great sisters, and can do the things that I enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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