Looking for any help, any direction

[Nmaxis]

What I'm trying to do here is to ask what should I do? It been hard to realize this but I know that something is wrong. I just need to know what this is and how I can fix it so I can try to be a better person. I no I'm not normal but I think I still have a chance to be. Here the thing, I've never been one to "go out". I prefer to say in because it's easier. I've made friends before but they've always been situational (school friends, co-workers), never anything to spilled over to "real life". I don't game online, I don't join groups I find myself alone and for the longest time I was completely OK with that. Recently however I've been longing (is this the right word) for something. I'm turn 27 and I've never had any type of emotional connection with the opposite sex, never made any attempts. I actively made friends but never "maintained" a connection. Even my family relations are strained, though I do semi-associated with a particular branch but I find myself only going over there for food, TV, or tech support. Also that what I do for a living tech-support even though I hold two degrees and am working on my master's. I can't seem to find a job worth merit, gotten close twice (one was with a prestigious university) but always lost out to someone else. My health leaves something to be desired (diabetes), and I can't bring myself to work out. I hate my my job, my life, my lack of achievement, and the fact I can't seem to go anywhere or do anything because I lack everything. I know I need to see someone, I guess, before it's too late but who? any suggestions would be nice, I have to fix this soon I finding it hard to care about anything.

[malign]

I know I need to see someone, ... but who?

At the risk of being annoying, and I hope you'll bear with me because I am annoying on occasion, I'd say start with ... you.

Is it really possible to "lack everything"? You have an education, a job, enough socials skills that you're at least able to make friends. So where did this image of you come from? Does it follow a pattern, or even maybe sound like the voice, of someone you knew growing up?

The next step might be to see ... other people. Any other people. You have opportunities to socialize, at school and at work. How about making that little extra effort, and, say, joining a group for coffee after a lecture? You might find that your education gives you things to talk about, and that people might even share some of those interests. Don't go for romance right off; just human contact would be a start.

So, if I stop being annoying, you might have to start this process with a therapist. But on the bright side, even though you're finding it hard to care about anything, there's a part of you that notices you're finding it hard, and that still cares enough to come ask us for help. Maybe that's a part of you that can help? In the end, we help ourselves, otherwise all the outside help in the world would be useless. I'm glad there's a part of you that's on your side.