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Hello ppl its been sometime since i wrote something in the forum, the last time i wrote about me and my gf that lost her pregnacy and then left me, a lot has happened since then. I now live with 2 of my brothers and my mother lives on her own on another house we have, but she comes everyday an eat with us.

Shes bipolar like me, and she dosent take her meds anymore she reminds me to her mother a crazzy old lady insulting everyone and talking shit, lying, and playing victim role and anoying ppl all day, she gets jealous coz my 4th brother lives with my father so she calls there to insult my father and my grandmother. Today we had a dinner with the family of my father and she called and insulted my grandmother screeming on her at the phone at 2am in the morning and my bro listened my mom insults and stuff and told me.

I got home and she was here, coz she dosent have a phone at her house i got so mad and sad at the same time im fuking tired of her, when i was little ive always been sad seen my mother mentally ill but now i also get really angry and i start talking and she just start talking shit and blessing me and saying stupid religious stuff and then she she plays the victim, i was ready to fuking punch her, i just want to throw this person to the ground and kick her in the head until she stops talking.

I feel really sad and sometimes i just think i sould pack my bags again and go live really far and just dont talk to anyone that reminds me where i come from, i feel sad for my younger brother im the oldest i and i dont have any solution for this. I hate that my mother has to be mentally ill like her mother and me to, i just hope i dont become so anoying like her. Everyday i fuking see her i just want to kick her and make her feel pain and see her cry, i fuking hate her ive talked so much to her trying to make her understand she need to take meds and needs profecional help and that we love her but is useless, she avoids it and makes comments that im the sick person, my brothers also hate her their tired to, she comes to my house and they ignore her, or fuking make her shut up.

All our neighbours knows my mom is fuking crazzy she has fought verbally with almost every neighbour coz the stupid things she imagens, my grandmother tells me shes mentally ill and that i sould try to understand, but i hate my mother anoying her and calling her so late at nigh almost every week just to insult my 87 year old grandmother. Ive spend endless hours talking to this woman trying to make her understand but nothing,

Emotionally absent father and a mentally ill mother i get so frustrated when i go to friends houses and they have nice familys, and then i have to go back to live the shit i have home trying to be the biggest person in my house but even at my 28 its seems like im just a kid or something. I just dont know what im writting anymore and ive tryed to read it but it seems tedious so forgive my english or if this makes no sense at all.

I'm going to acting classes :) and got chosen to do a commercial so not all bad I guess, life is funny.

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Hello, Epp. This situation sounds so stressful for you. :( I can understand how living in that kind of environment could wear you down and bring up feelings of anger, especially if your past has been painful. It must also be very difficult and confusing having such conflicted feelings about your mom. I hope it helps to express yourself.

Are you still seeing a therapist and getting support for yourself? Also, are you able to take a step back from your anger and away from the situation (and your mom) when it surfaces?

Good luck with the acting classes!

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Sorry to hear things are so hard for you now, Mr. Epp.

I can identify with your situation, though in a roundabout way. My daughter probably felt the same way about me – only I was seeking treatment, it just wasn’t working or helping fast enough. I live in another city so I wasn’t with her that much, but I was very anxious when I was – so that didn’t really help.

Is it realistically possible that you could move somewhere on your own and out of the city? I know how hard it is when you have mental illness yourself and need some help. Is there any government or maybe other help that might be available for you? It might help you get some “distance” – both psychologically as well as physically -- from everything, even if you want to see your mother sometimes – just not as frequently!

Just a thought. Hope things improve soon.

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my mother has not gone to therapy in 8 months now, she abandoned meds and any help given, so i must say i feel sad coz she is my mother and she is a inteligent woman and ive tryed to help but if i see this situation get worse than it is, ill just put her on a mentally facility and probably leave her there. I feel bad for thinking like this but she only produces me rejection she helped her mother during her crazzy life and know she has become just like her, i dont want to end up in the same situacion.

but today im more calm, she came to visit us today she was going to cook she said, my younger brother just told her to go to her house and dont bother us, so i cooked, i feel sorry for her.

im not going to therapy either but i think ill go back again since this is bothering me so much.

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It's good that you are feeling calmer, Epp.

Will your mom listen to any suggestions to return to therapy and/or go back to taking her medications?

I think getting support for yourself is a good idea, especially if this situation brings up stressful and upset feelings for you. It's always positive to listen to your needs and do what you need to to take care of yourself.

I hope you feel better.

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