new to the site and could use some help of any kind

[JustAGuyGuy]

Hi,

I'm new to the site and after reading some post decided I would give it a try.

I'm in my mid twenties and I'm still a virgin. I have always been really shy and over the last few years I have decided that I’m pretty sure I have some anxiety issues. I always feel nervous around people I don’t know very well and I feel kind of nervous as I type this haha. I thought about therapy but that worries me because I would be face to face with someone I don’t know and talking about issue I don’t really feel comfortable talking about.

Anyways, something that has been eating me up over the last couple of years is that fact that I have never been in a relationship or been with anyone physically. I used to be able to entertain myself with video games and such but now it’s all I think about. To go with my social anxiety, not really sure if that’s what I have, I am also not the most well endowed guy. I’m also really short, like 5’4. I’m like the smallest guy everywhere I go in more way than one haha. I may be on the small side of average with length, which I guess really doesn’t bug me too much. It’s my girth. I may be 4” on a good day with girth. I had to buy small condoms because I tried a regular one on once and there was no way that would stay on lol. Basically, I’m afraid to get intimate with someone because I’m afraid of being rejected or the whole experience will be embarrassing. I don’t think I can be as sexually satisfying as a normal sized guy; the whole friction thing worries me. I don’t think she would really feel anything. Now I know girls have different sizes just like us guys but I don’t think there are a lot of guys out there like me. And, I’m in my mid twenties, so anyone I may date will probably not be a virgin and will have had several partners. Some days I feel like I’m doomed because if I do meet someone she will never get the satisfaction she wants from me with penetration. I know that there are other ways and the motion of the ocean thing, but I can’t see any girl being happy with my size.

I don't know, maybe I’m wrong. I am a virgin. I stay in shape and have had other people tell me I’m a cute guy. Hoping maybe someone could share experiences they have had with my issue. I know a lot of my problems are because of my low, really low confidence, but I know I’m not what most girls are probably used to seeing. Any advice or stories would be greatly appreciated.

JustAGuyGuy

[IrmaJean]

Welcome to the community, Guy.

I struggled with social anxiety in the past, but I can honestly say that I no longer feel anxious around people. Things can get better. I would suggest that you continue to put yourself in many different social situations. Projecting confidence, having good posture, smiling, and making eye contact all seemed to help me. It's challenging at first, but it gets easier with practice. I also started out by discussing topics that I had good knowledge about. After some time, I began to realize that everyone around me was not focused on judging me; they were thinking about their own stuff. Once you begin to feel some confidence, it can become very empowering and lead to even more confidence.

Some days I feel like I’m doomed because if I do meet someone she will never get the satisfaction she wants from me with penetration. I know that there are other ways and the motion of the ocean thing, but I can’t see any girl being happy with my size.

I hear you, but I hope you will not think in absolutes and can be open to the possibilities. If you feel defeated before you try, it may be difficult to be open to a woman's acceptance and appreciation of your body, just as it is.

Good luck, Guy. Take care.

[JustAGuyGuy]

Thanks for the reply Irma.

I do struggle with eye contract and smiling so some stuff I can work on there. Just never really been a guy to lead a conversation, more of a listener really. But definitely some stuff I can try. Only thing is if I do make eye contact I have no idea how to approach someone. I’ve never done that before. Guess it’s more of a trial and error thing.

And as for my other question. The more and more I read I’m beginning to know my answer, and I think the answer is that there really is no answer to the question. Still does not bring me comfort right now though. I can tell myself that everyone is different and that everyone has their own likes and dislikes, but I feel I’m a little too different, you know? Hopefully one day I will get out of this shell and realize that what I am is not bad at all. I know I will be reject, it happens to just about everyone. Just need to learn that it’s just life and move on (easier to type than actually do haha). Thanks again Irma.

JustAGuyGuy