Dissociative Disorder – What issues does it have to go with it?

[Sammy]

My wife is in the middle of beeing diagnosed with Dissociative Disorder (The modern day Multiple Personality Disorder) and I still don't fully understand it.

Any advice or stories on how someone with that has been around you would help.

[IrmaJean]

I'm not an expert on this, Sammy, and would recommend you do some reading on the subject. From my understanding, this occurs when and if being fully present is too painful/stressful so the person then detaches or dissociates in order to cope. There are different descriptions of this that can vary in severity. It can also be associated with trauma. I'm not certain what your wife may be struggling with specifically. Does your wife's therapist have any information you might read?

[Sammy]

Thanks for your reply.

I have done lots of reading on the matter but I still don't understand it. Mostly because she dosn't seem to do it when I'm around. But when you start asking friends and family members. she has times that she just dosn't remember stuff she should.

She does have a few possible trauma times in her childhood that include times with her Father, Sister, and the family firends/childhood babysitter. The other one I could see having any bearing on trauma would be shortly after we got to gether she got pregnant. We had our little girl in high school and placed her for adoption.

The Therapist isn't fully done with the diagnosis yet but every time she sees him he is more sure of it. So who knows where that will go. I was wanting to talk to him in a while to see what he thinks and what I should do.

[IrmaJean]

Diagnosis can be a complicated thing, I would think, because each individual is unique and has their own experience. I do think it would be helpful for you to know about what your wife struggles with, but at the same time connecting with and understanding her needs outside of any diagnosis would be most important, I would think. Knowledge can be empowering, though, and maybe this helps you as well.

How is your communication with her? Does she talk about her feelings and experience with you?

I do also hope you are being mindful of your needs in this. This must be very stressful and upsetting for you.

Take care.

[Sammy]

I wouldn't call this stressfull for me but it sure is for her. And I do talk with her, a lot after all she was one of my friends for 5 years before we got together. Just thinking about it I met her 16 years ago in middle school.

After her Therapist appointment yesterday she was telling me about the tests she had taken the week before and they came up negative for Dissociative Disorder. But any memorys she talks with him about from years before just yells the tests were wrong.

I guess the hardest part for me is I never saw this coming. Mostly because she dosn't seem to have any personality switch around me and never has. Even years ago now when we look back (hignd sight is always 20/20) I remember her telling me that I was the only person she didn't have to be someone else around. So I'm just not seeing anything that I can do different to help her.

[finding my way]

I'm sorry she is stressed in this process Are they considering PTSD?

This would be tough news to accept if you never knew it before and it has been 16 years. Maybe give yourself time to adjust? Are you able to listen and learn right now? It would be natural to have some reactions of fear of the unknown-- sometimes learning can help calm that down. Sometimes learning meditation and breathing techniques help us release some of the driveness we feel to "fix" the situation and be done.

Hope things are ok for you.