What started your SPS?

[IrmaJean]

I don't deserve honor or compassion, so I don't give it to myself. And I definitely have trouble myself as a man, since I'm 22 and still look like 12 physically, other then body hair. I am inferior then others though, partly why I have always tried to treat others better then myself.

Would you think that of any other person here besides yourself? Why so harshly judgmental on yourself? Maybe try to challenge these distortions. I hear that you feel this way, but body shape and size don't make any of us inferior; differences make us unique individuals.

I can tell you that you evoke feelings of compassion in me. I'm sorry you hurt.

[malign]

You wouldn't treat inferior people with honor and compassion, dvn? I suspect you would. So why are you so special, that only you deserve to be treated badly?

I kinda feel we're mixing up "value" (however that might be defined) with "worthy of compassion." Isn't everybody worthy of compassion? Maybe even more compassion, the harder they struggle? Sure seems to me like you're struggling hard enough ...

[Victimorthecrime]

I really like the tone of everything on this page. You are good folks and that means more than the size/shape/appearance of anything.

[firefighter38834]

Locker room syndrome also military and years of being a gym rat. I am 6-0 190 athletic firefighter but maybe 4.75 and thin on a good day. I have only seen a few erect penises but soft of course lots. Mine soft...I am uncut is a nub. This is second marriage .First one was a sexual disaster ...she stated her only good orgasms were vaginal and she had major problems with girth. We have 2 kids so it was long enough at least twice..I was in spec-ops in military and wasn't home much and when I was sex sucked...I really didnt fit when I would get home. She finally asked could she have sex with another guy? I said sure. Just as well. She was happier and in bed she was hotter. The rules were please get a military guy cause we are tested for Stds and I wasn't doing a 3 some. I had a security clearance . The marriage lasted about another year. I finally got home and dating. Most were divorces and some were open about my size. Called it jr...little bit and dickey. Its always hard to focus on good sex when even with slim coding you have to hold it to keep from slipping off. I had learned about pleasuring a woman 50 without using penis.

I finally met a lady who was a dream come true. She is my wife now. Her ex was hung and knew nothing but slam it in. About 6 months into relationship we role played me being another female and we were 2 ladies in bed. No penis allowed ...oral....fingers ...touch Wow! My wife was multiple and squirting and I was a hot lover. Intercourse was allowed of course but after she was finished. This led to me wearing panties and my soft nub tucked it was hot...this led to one night we both broke out laughing and decided my clit was bigger than hers. Even today if she is interested when she gets home she will text me " wanna clit to clit tonight?" So moral of this story is if you don't have big cock; have a big clit. She loves me mashing the head of my clit against hers.

If it sounds weird I don't care. I pleasure my wife totally 99% of the time.

[markos77]

I'm still kindve surprised by women's needs and expectations for penis size. I first measured my penis in high school and was pleased to measure from the top a little over 7 inches. I always thought I was biggish. Come to find out I'm only 4.5 around-- thus I've had numerous women complain or express dissatisfaction with it. It shocked me. I'm 5'10, muscular but not a huge man. What is this about? I'm an inch above average and still it's not big enough for these girls? Is this the truth? If so, when penis enlargement surgery is actually real, most men will quickly be packing fat 9 inchers. Given my experiences, can you blame me ? Doubtful. Women can get all types of plastic surgery but a man cannot change this extremely important part of himself and his sexuality.

[markos77]

My point being from my experience this is not something created in our heads. Women now really do want a rasputin cock. I met a girl who told me she was no size queen. I recently started using a pump. I pumped probably a bit much before the date. When our clothes were off 3 hours later her first words when she saw it (artificially and temporarily inflated 6,5 girth) was "oh god you're big!" And proceded to go nuts. I have never has this response whatsoever when I didn't pump. It was an eye opening experience and made me semi thankful I at least live in a time of penis pumps. The pump goes away after about 4 hours though. That's slightly problematic.

[ShameOnThem]

I think the foundations of my sps were when, around 8th grade, I was hanging around some college aged guys on a youth trip and one said something to the effect of " I wouldn't have gone skinny dipping with a bunch of girls in 8th grade because my dick hadn't grown yet." That was the first time I thought of my penis as small, or even thought of its size at all. It wasn't mean or embarrassing or anything, but it was just the first time I had ever thought of it. Some time in college when I realized my penis wasn't ever going to grow any bigger(i guess it grew before I was really paying attention), I got pretty sad but it was never too bad because I was pretty much a pothead and was always too distracted by getting high to pursue girls or sulk. Recently, my sps was exacerbated when I started reading around about having a small penis on line and I realized how no help article dealing with size wanted to acknowledge that I exist(I'm 4" x 4") and only that most men are average(5.5-6") and have nothing to worry about(what about me?). I read one particularly hurtful article on a feminist website about why it's ok to make fun of small penises(it's not ok, btw) and the author was very insensitive and shaming. I spent that night crying and searching the web for some help and I found here. Ever since then, I think about it a lot more than before, but it's usually a more positive thought process. I've had one sexual partner in my life, and she seemed to be pretty into sex with me, so there is reason to be optimistic, but my insecurity fucks with my head. Did she like sex with me, or did she like me and wanted me to think she liked sex with me? I don't know, I thought it was the former, but after reading about how some women think about size as and how they will just fake orgasms to keep an otherwise great guy around. Idk, i'm mindfucked about the whole thing. So to answer your original question, the origin of my SPS is really due to reading online about size and measuring myself and comparing myself to that darned chart where the aggregate of women's opinions say i'm inadequate/unsatisfying, but I've always thought(correctly) that I was small since being told that my dick would eventually grow and it didn't.

[mts]

-

[ShameOnThem]

I think I know about what article you are talking about and if I remember correctly the author was cheated on by her boyfriend. I'm not defending it, obviously it's wrong for her to shame other people's bodies, but you shouldn't put too much stock in to things that are supposed to be vindictive and hurtful. She obviously didn't have a problem dating him and his penis until he cheated on her, so as long as you do that and be a good boyfriend, you'll have no problems making a woman happy in the long term. You can work on the sex thing with her and with a sex therapist if you are really worried about it. Our penises should not limit us from making most women orgasm regularly, lesbians have perfectly productive sex, so there's absolutely no reason we can't either. If you communicate with your lover about what she wants and what feels good, and you are open to try new things and even implement toys, that covers everything that is needed for a happy sex life. Some women are bad and there's nothing any of us can do about it, but most are good people.

[Wastedlife]

Locker room syndrome also military and years of being a gym rat. I am 6-0 190 athletic firefighter but maybe 4.75 and thin on a good day. I have only seen a few erect penises but soft of course lots. Mine soft...I am uncut is a nub. This is second marriage .First one was a sexual disaster ...she stated her only good orgasms were vaginal and she had major problems with girth. We have 2 kids so it was long enough at least twice..I was in spec-ops in military and wasn't home much and when I was sex sucked...I really didnt fit when I would get home. She finally asked could she have sex with another guy? I said sure. Just as well. She was happier and in bed she was hotter. The rules were please get a military guy cause we are tested for Stds and I wasn't doing a 3 some. I had a security clearance . The marriage lasted about another year. I finally got home and dating. Most were divorces and some were open about my size. Called it jr...little bit and dickey. Its always hard to focus on good sex when even with slim coding you have to hold it to keep from slipping off. I had learned about pleasuring a woman 50 without using penis.

I finally met a lady who was a dream come true. She is my wife now. Her ex was hung and knew nothing but slam it in. About 6 months into relationship we role played me being another female and we were 2 ladies in bed. No penis allowed ...oral....fingers ...touch Wow! My wife was multiple and squirting and I was a hot lover. Intercourse was allowed of course but after she was finished. This led to me wearing panties and my soft nub tucked it was hot...this led to one night we both broke out laughing and decided my clit was bigger than hers. Even today if she is interested when she gets home she will text me " wanna clit to clit tonight?" So moral of this story is if you don't have big cock; have a big clit. She loves me mashing the head of my clit against hers.

If it sounds weird I don't care. I pleasure my wife totally 99% of the time.

Very depressing story...yes what i always wanted in life to pretend my penis is a clit cause its that small...fml

[Jessie]

WL,

Pay no heed to the post you refer to.

That is a post likely with no basis in reality and designed for maximum humiliation and pain for guys on this site.

Don't give the source any satisfaction….

[u.r.what.u.is]

I don't deserve honor or compassion, so I don't give it to myself.

You also said in an earlier post that you are religious. Are your religious beliefs supporting this notion that you do not deserve honor or compassion? If so, I'd respectfully say that you need to look into other religions, or consider doing without any.

[dvnJ22]

You also said in an earlier post that you are religious. Are your religious beliefs supporting this notion that you do not deserve honor or compassion? If so, I'd respectfully say that you need to look into other religions, or consider doing without any.

I'm not religious anymore. Doesn't matter if there is a god he hates me, and is going to punish me. If there is isn't I'm still nothing but a piece of shit. And yes my religious beliefs at the time hurt my self esteem.

[Wutty3]

WL,

Pay no heed to the post you refer to.

That is a post likely with no basis in reality and designed for maximum humiliation and pain for guys on this site.

Don't give the source any satisfaction….

Jessie you remember firefighter33834 right. He was telling how wonderful his acceptance of humiliation virtually saved his marriage. Then posts it all over this forum implying that since we have a small penis we should embrace such a lifestyle. Hey...It worked for him....why shouldn't work for us. Fortunately this person is no longer posting in this forum. Guys if you get your rocks off on SPH...I feel sorry for you but this is not the place for you. Every other site having to do with the penis especially small penis will have a cadre of patrons that are desperate to be humiliated. Go there to get your rocks off and discuss your "panty wearing pathetic little clits" fantasies with those that of like mind. Being humiliated does NOTHING for someone trying to build some self esteem. As a post script I question the credibility of anyone on this forum be it moderator, administrator, dog catcher or cat whisperer that endorses sexualization of humiliation as a valid path to gaining self esteem.

[u.r.what.u.is]

I'm not religious anymore. Doesn't matter if there is a god he hates me, and is going to punish me. If there is isn't I'm still nothing but a piece of shit. And yes my religious beliefs at the time hurt my self esteem.

There was a time when I claimed to "know" God and would have tried to steer you back to God, but I don't claim to know any divine truth anymore. That said, as a fellow human being, I do hope you can get out of this crappy rut whereby you feel so worthless. You ultimately need to say 'F- that' and love yourself a little. It may be a long road, but worth taking.

[u.r.what.u.is]

To get myself back to the original topic... I do think pornography was the main culprit in my SPS way of thinking. I also happened to frequently see the well-endowed in locker rooms and such much more often than others, so that got me really thinking I was pathetically small and not possibly pleasing to women.

I tried to journey back to sanity on my own gradually over the years - while also confiding my fears in a couple close friends. That helped to a point, but my big breakthrough happened when I started visiting online forums on the topic. The final straw that broke the camel's back was my encounters with women in the last year or so. I've been told that I am a great lover by women who have had many partners. There has been no issue over my size. This has really, really made me feel good about myself, finally!!! This also makes me realize that if I'd had a humiliating experience with a woman, it would have been a very big setback.

[dvnJ22]

There was a time when I claimed to "know" God and would have tried to steer you back to God, but I don't claim to know any divine truth anymore. That said, as a fellow human being, I do hope you can get out of this crappy rut whereby you feel so worthless. You ultimately need to say 'F- that' and love yourself a little. It may be a long road, but worth taking.

I had a cyber sex partner, she told me around the time she started talking to me, she was talking to someone else. She said nothing sexual happedned between them, it was only emtional, but she cares for him, and me. I feel crappy, because she and I were planing to meet, she didn't care about my penis size. I cant even make an internet relationship work. I'm a loser.

[u.r.what.u.is]

I had a cyber sex partner, she told me around the time she started talking to me, she was talking to someone else. She said nothing sexual happedned between them, it was only emtional, but she cares for him, and me. I feel crappy, because she and I were planing to meet, she didn't care about my penis size. I cant even make an internet relationship work. I'm a loser.

I have never tried the cyber-sex route - actually I'm not sure what that means exactly, are you there with the intent of hooking up, or does it typically stay entirely online? But no matter what way you're meeting women, you're bound to fail more than succeed. EVERYONE goes through the "What the hell is wrong with me?" feelings. Women who we think should like us choose other partners - it's part of the game. If you view yourself as a worthy shlep like the rest of us, you will eventually find someone who likes you as you are. I believe it.

[mts]

-

[Resolute]

welcome back, mts. did you finally get a tablet?

[mts]

-

[tcnewexp]

Locker room as I was extremely small flaccid & developed very late and had a few fucked up nicknames. First girlfriend made it worse as I pushed to know the size of her previous boyfriend (big mistake) as he was significantly larger and I was too young to know how to deal with that. (BTW, I am slightly below average length, but well below average girth). First wife made it even worse. Been obsessed with my size ever since (mid 40's now). 

At times I was almost crippled by this obsession. Tried toys, pumps, etc. Have contemplated surgery forever and still do. The horror stories always turn me away before pulling the trigger. 

However, I do deserve honor and compassion. I no longer accept anything but that.  That doesn't mean I don't feel insecure and shame. I just have stopped associating with people who make me feel worse.  If a woman at a bar asks my size, while it would sting, I would later be thankful to find out what a bitch she was.  Someone I don't want to be around. 

[Gryphon]

I'm new here and I'm asian. I was laughed at after school swimming lessons when I was about 11 year old. Dint even realise that there is such a thing as SPS till recently. I guess this has been with me since I was 11 years of age. 

I'm married to my second girl friend who is my wife now. I remember having to tell her that I had a small penis and she said she wasn't bothered by it. About 7 years ago, we stopped having sex as I cannot take the rejections for wanting to have sex with her. Her reason was she wasnt interested in sex. I'm having thoughts now the reason that she doesn't want sex maybe because of my size. 

 

[Resolute]

hi, tcn and gryphon. welcome to the forum. sounds like you guys have been thru a lot. hope you like it here.

[tcnewexp]

Thanks resolute. Just reading the forum helps as I don't feel so isolated with my battles.