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So I have no idea how I ended up on this the forum last night, maybe it was meant to be, but after reading some of the threads I decided to sign-up and share my thoughts. I should start off my saying that I am a 25 year old gay guy; therefore my POV will be skewed towards gay men, although I am sure that heterosexual men can find some relevancy. I am not sure how many gay men are on this section, but I am specifically talking to you.

In the gay 'community' there are mainly three types of guys: Tops (those who penetrate during anal sex, give), Bottoms (those who are penetrated, receive), Versatile (those who like to give and receive). I happen to be a Bottom guy w/ very little Topping/Versatile desire. When I am having anal sexual desires, I mostly imagine the other man penetrating me.

Okay, that was the background, now back to this topic:

Although, I am 98% bottom, I would NEVER reject a guy for his penis size! I don't care if you are 1", 3", 5", 7", 9", it doesn't matter. If I go out with an individual and I like the guy, I will work with anything. If someone is "unable", for lack of a better word, to Top me, then that's okay since this is only one aspect of our sexual life. I am not going to be unhappy if a single aspect of our sexual life is a little different than the 'norm'. Even at 1" you can have sex with any man you want. Sex is not only about penetration - in both straight and gay relationships.

If you go out with a man, you like him, he likes you, there is no shame in telling him of your smaller than average penis if this is going to make you more comfortable. I think many of your are obsessed with the porn-filled world. Men and woman are sexual, but they aren't out there, in the real world, looking for the biggest penis that they can find. If my 'soulmate' was destined to have a 3" penis then so be it, I will love all three inches of him.

I know the gay 'community' comes off as very judgmental. We mostly are. You know why? For the same reason that everyone judges us, it's a defense mechanism.

In the end, many would not reject you for your penis size. Those that do reject you don't matter, move on, it's life. Additionally, some might say that I am an exception and not the rule. This may be so, but think about it we are out there! Wouldn't it be worth it to go out there, take a chance, and maybe get rejected a few times (as we all have been for other physical characteristics: too thin, too tall, too fat, too short. It's the name of the game, we all get rejected) in order to find a guy who is more than willing to love you for YOU! Maybe you feel like very few guys will 'like' you, always remember you only need one man at a time to date/have sex with/partner with - ONLY ONE.

I noticed that the gay men that post here are mostly virgins or have very little experience. I get it, you have a syndrome. But I think it's time for you guys to put yourself out there! There is nothing wrong with your small penis! I have been through my own struggles in life, we all have, but it's time for you guys to start using your peckers - no matter their size!

I feel similarly for straight guys. I have so many girl friends who have told me that they find it hard to get orgasms through penetration, so their partners must do other things (foreplay, fingering, etc) to stimulate them. Any one of you is capable of all that. If you search, you will find someone. It may be a little harder for you guys, but life isn't easy, even for the guy with the 9 incher.

I will be checking back on this thread to answer any questions or respond to comments made. I don't know if this is appropriate, but if anyone wants to e-mail privately do so at <email removed>.

I hope that my post will help some of you take one step forward. Best of luck!

Edited by malign
Removed e-mail address for privacy concerns
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I removed the inline e-mail address, just out of concern for privacy. The site does have a private messaging (PM) facility that would suit the purpose, and if you want to exchange e-mail addresses one on one by PM, that's just fine. It's also easy to set up one's PM mailbox to send you an e-mail notification, so that you don't have to come back to check.

Thanks for your input, iinside, and welcome to our site. I think that you're right, the fundamental issue is how (or even whether) a person deals with rejection, which happens to everybody. It's a lot harder when the person thinks they should be rejected ...

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  • 3 months later...

No Malign it is not always about rejection, for me at least it is about not feeling like a man.

This is the thing people who give advice here cant understand and ignore in every argument. Its not only about women rejecting you, that’s just one part of it. Its not feeling like a man, its knowing bigger penis looks better and feels better, its dealing with constant reminders of how much it sucks to have small penis and how good it is to have a big one. Dealing with shame of small penis, smiling and laughing it off when people make fun off small penises because your to ashamed to admit you are “one of those man”...Its having your confidence (if you have any left at all...) tarnished with something you can never change...

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  • 4 weeks later...

Boy, you said a mouthful "wastedlife". Whenever I'm with a group of people and the topic of sex comes up (which it almost always does), I cringe whenever someone makes a joke about a small penis. They're not making fun of me, per se, but I feel an immediate need to change the subject somehow.

For me, it's not so much about feeling that I'm not a man simply because I have a small penis. But I DO feel like less of a man because my shame of having one prevents me from making sexual advances toward women. And because of that, I've only had intercourse with one girlfriend (out of the 3 I've gone out with) my entire adult life. THAT definately makes me feel like less of a man. There was one girl that was a friend of mine that always flirted with me ... sat on my lap ... showed off her cleavage intentionally to me ... etc etc. Even with MY lack of confidence I could have made a move on her - but I didn't because once she saw my little dick, word would have gotten around. I couldn't take that chance for such fear of embarrassment.

I suffer furthur shame when visiting with friends because I never have a girlfriend with me. Every other guy has a chick with them (wife, girlfriend, whatever). Luckily they never point this out since they don't want to make me feel worse than I already do. If they ever did, that would be my last time ever showing up.

I am angry that I was born with a small penis. I was embarrassed to take a shower in gym class with other guys because I was small. Not that I'm proud of this, but I've had sex with prostitutes only because they have to when you pay them ... and even then I almost always got blow jobs since I didn't know if I could even fuck with this damn thing. I avoid even jumping into a pool or a lake because of how pathetic it looks to see that there's no bulge in my bathing trunks, especially when they cling to my body when I get out of the water.

And here's another thing: people try to compare guys with small penises to women with small breasts. IT'S NOT NEARLY THE SAME. To be blunt, a woman with small boobs can still fuck. A guy with a small dick really can't. Many guys are very turned on by small boobs (include me in that group) - it's true. When was the last time you heard a woman say "boy, i LOVE a guy with a small cock!" "Jeez, It's SUCH a turn-on to see a guy drop his pants and see his little dick." Ain't gonna happen. The one thing I will say about this, though, is I feel a woman' s pain for the fact that the size of their breasts are right out front for the world to see. Pretty much the first thing a guy looks at is her boobs. So if the girl is embarrassed by their size or shape, they really can't hide it. It's a lot easier in that way for a guy 'cause if the woman is checking his package out, she does it in a LOT more subtle way than a guy. I can see that would be very tough for a woman who is self-conscious about her breasts.

So, you're right"wasted". Every guy gets rejected - we all understand that. But the fear we face of getting rejected because we're so small, whether implied or straight-out being told so, it's just such a debilitating thing and really hurts in a way that you can never ignore or forget.

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  • 5 months later...

I'm a gay man and have found both sides to the penios size story: m will get en who really don't care at all how big it is and of course, the size queens who want the bigest they can find. Being small myself, I have been rejected by men who want size- their loss. I tend to want men who are larger than myself, so I know how the double standard works. We want what we want. These days I'm perfectly confident with what I was given and those who want me for me are lucky!

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