Frustrated.

[Girlfriend-here]

Are you a close couple out in public, like do you touch each other and kiss often? Perhaps amp that side of it up, touch n grab her in public, whisper in her ear. If u are really keen for sex she'd probably be able to sense it in the bedroom, like just feel it in the air even though it's not mentioned it would be lingering in ur energy field. And that's normal, ur a male but perhaps just feel her up and get her fully going first with clothes on and take it slow. Be gentle with her body, horney men can be heavy sonetimes, nothing wrong with that but initially just be soft n gentle n relaxed with her body. Good luck.

[Perseverance]

I do everything right. I have the worst luck. She's been under the weather all week. Minor stuff though. Tonight I thought I'd catch a break. Have the house to ourselves. Nothing. I'm getting less horny anymore. It's so depressing. I already see our schedules lining up for failure. Then her period comes so I'm looking at another 4 week stretch. I can't take it. As much as I enjoy her company these 2-4 week stretches are absolutely killing me.

[Carl]

I do everything right. I have the worst luck. She's been under the weather all week. Minor stuff though. Tonight I thought I'd catch a break. Have the house to ourselves. Nothing. I'm getting less horny anymore. It's so depressing. I already see our schedules lining up for failure. Then her period comes so I'm looking at another 4 week stretch. I can't take it. As much as I enjoy her company these 2-4 week stretches are absolutely killing me.

Just a tip on the road. Not that I have any experience, but I think that most women are submissive meaning that they want the man to take all the initiatives and she wants to "be fucked", not "fucking". You can't wait for women to take the initiative. A really dominant thing would be to just have sex with her when you want to have sex. Like it's not scheduled or anything, you just want to fuck and as a man you suppose to make that happen.

But hey I just read some books. Might be worth a try, though.

[newguy]

Rush her off her feet my son ..... Treat her like a princess that she is .. take her out for a candle light dinner buy her some sexy underwear make her feel loved wanted make her feel special you just can't expect sex on tap all the time it will become a boring chore for her take her away for the weekend .. I'm sure she is busy and have a lot on her mind but treat her right and that way she will wanna run home and make passionate love with you all night then .. cook her dinner soil her .buy a bottle of wine that dvd she wants to watch a box of chocolates some sexy underwear put some rose petals on the bed leave some notes around the house make her feel special ... If this doesn't work just sit down and say maybe we need a break away just for the weekend and try again there .. if that don't work your gonna have to sit down and talk to her nicely mind you

[Perseverance]

Just a tip on the road. Not that I have any experience, but I think that most women are submissive meaning that they want the man to take all the initiatives and she wants to "be fucked", not "fucking". You can't wait for women to take the initiative. A really dominant thing would be to just have sex with her when you want to have sex. Like it's not scheduled or anything, you just want to fuck and as a man you suppose to make that happen.

But hey I just read some books. Might be worth a try, though.

I agree 100%. That's how it works. I get it. But it's not helping me any if I have to initiate it every time. I can only remember her initiating sex maybe twice in our relationship. I treat her very well and I think I should be "though of" once and a while. I cooked her dinner last night as a matter of fact. Cleaned up and took her out for ice cream. Come home watch a movie then go to bed. She's not feeling well which she hasn't been. Above all I hope she just gets well soon. But see that's how it goes for me. I'm left hanging as usual and it really extends into other areas of my life as well. Wether it's friends family or my relationship. I don't even know if I'm frustrated anymore.

[Carl]

I agree 100%. That's how it works. I get it. But it's not helping me any if I have to initiate it every time. I can only remember her initiating sex maybe twice in our relationship. I treat her very well and I think I should be "though of" once and a while. I cooked her dinner last night as a matter of fact. Cleaned up and took her out for ice cream. Come home watch a movie then go to bed. She's not feeling well which she hasn't been. Above all I hope she just gets well soon. But see that's how it goes for me. I'm left hanging as usual and it really extends into other areas of my life as well. Wether it's friends family or my relationship. I don't even know if I'm frustrated anymore.

No no no look, you're being a bit of a doormat at the moment. Not trying to be mean, but just consider my opinion on this matter. Women are not like machines that reward you with sex if you buy a whole bunch of stuff like diamond rings and chocolate etc etc. Do you really think that women walk around and thinking "He just made me dinner, now I have to fuck him". Those types of guys that seem to think that women reward men with sex after good behavior seems to end up in the friendzone, I think.

Think of it this way, let's just say that you were a woman and now you don't have a penis anymore and a beard etc etc, instead you have a vagina, boobs, time glass shape body and perhaps long hair etc etc. Think that you are a woman. And you're straight so you're into men. Sexually. Now your partner will be a man who will put his penis inside you. Get it? You're "being fucked", you're not the one fucking. The man is masculine more dominant. The woman is feminine, submissive. If you were a woman you would have to be turned on by the fact that a man will enter you. It would be pretty difficult for mankind if women weren't even turned on by men. Agree? Just get the idea that women are submissive into your head. Most women, sure someone might be a BDSM mistress or whatever, but most women are submissive. They let the man take the lead.

Making dinner is not an introduction to sex. It's an introduction to eat. To fill up the stomach with food.

Here's something that could be a better way to introduce sex to her. Walk up behind her and give her a kiss on the neck and start touching her body, might wanna apply some dirty talk aswell. Might be a better idea. It could be worth a try.

I would also suggest reading Sex God Method from Daniel Rose. You could learn a lot from that book. You can either just download it for free on a torrent site or pay for it. Up to you. I think Amazon US got it. Might give you a different perspective about this subject and could start an interesting discussion in the other thread that I started called "Helpful stuff".

[Perseverance]

You need to read more of my posts to understand my situation. I'm not saying just because I cooked dinner she should fuck me. I'm saying I'm not a shitty boyfriend. I don't care if I come off cocky but I'm a very good boyfriend. I want her to want me like she used to. And that is killing me. Wonder what drove me here? The drop off. Wether it was the honeymoon period or what I don't know. She has come on to me before. That stopped. Then I continued going my thing. And then sex all together dropped off. Then I got worried because I in fact do have a small penis. My confidence is almost shot. I need her to want me. Sure I could come onto her and she would let me fuck her. But what the hell does that mean. Is she getting any pleasure out of it or would she just be satisfying me because she cares about me. Big difference. I want to feel like she wants me because I pleasure her. Confidence shot. This isn't just about me "getting laid" if I wanted it I would take it. That's not what this is about. The road I'm going down is that my penis is undesirable. Yea we can talk about her hormones or her mood or how she feels or her birth control but I'm not. I don't know how long I can accept that as an excuse to know your man has gone 3 weeks without sexual contact and think he's ok with that. Unless you don't care that much about sex or your bf just can't get you in that mood. But hey there's tomorrow right?

[malign]

Here's the thing, Perse: it's very difficult to separate this situation into its components. I can see at least three right away: your doubts about your size and the ways you may have overdone things to compensate, the actual state of your relationship (not all relationships succeed), and whatever's going on in her head, about which we know very little. It might be that the relationship won't work out, but that may have nothing to do with your insecurities.

About all we know for certain is that there has been a dropoff in her initiating sex. We don't know why, we don't know if it's permanent, and we don't know how she feels about it.

[Carl]

You need to read more of my posts to understand my situation. I'm not saying just because I cooked dinner she should fuck me. I'm saying I'm not a shitty boyfriend. I don't care if I come off cocky but I'm a very good boyfriend. I want her to want me like she used to. And that is killing me. Wonder what drove me here? The drop off. Wether it was the honeymoon period or what I don't know. She has come on to me before. That stopped. Then I continued going my thing. And then sex all together dropped off. Then I got worried because I in fact do have a small penis. My confidence is almost shot. I need her to want me. Sure I could come onto her and she would let me fuck her. But what the hell does that mean. Is she getting any pleasure out of it or would she just be satisfying me because she cares about me. Big difference. I want to feel like she wants me because I pleasure her. Confidence shot. This isn't just about me "getting laid" if I wanted it I would take it. That's not what this is about. The road I'm going down is that my penis is undesirable. Yea we can talk about her hormones or her mood or how she feels or her birth control but I'm not. I don't know how long I can accept that as an excuse to know your man has gone 3 weeks without sexual contact and think he's ok with that. Unless you don't care that much about sex or your bf just can't get you in that mood. But hey there's tomorrow right?

I'll read the entire thread later on. However about the issue of whether she wants to have sex with you and loves you could be a bit difficult to see when women don't take much initiative. Well sure there's exceptions, but in general terms women don't seem to take much initiative. If they do it's usually a passive one that could be hard to read properly.

Here's what I think could be some important factors to look at, though.

1. Forget about the fact that you have to take the initiative all the time while she never does. Focus on her response to your initiative instead. If she doesn't want to have sex with you then she could always say "Back off!", but if it leads to sex then that's a good sign.

2. Does she get an orgasm from you while having sex, not just intercourse, but the whole sexual act? There's more than just penetration, like pschological fantasies, fingering and oral etc. If she gets an orgasm then that's a great sign.

3. Let's say that you introduced a sexual fantasy while she is aroused and you turn it into a taboo subject through dirtytalk, because things that are taboo seem really sexy pshycologically. You then start to tease her like saying "no we can't do this, this is bad" (but in a more smooth way that seem more relevant to the situation) and stops having sex in the middle of everything when she's just about to orgasm. If she can't stand not being fucked by you while being soaking wet then that's a good sign.

Seriously just read the book Sex God Method, it will help you with some issues. Maybe you don't agree with everything, but some stuff could be helpful.

[Perseverance]

It's not about "just getting laid"!!!!!! Oh my lord. I want her to want me. This is the only way I'm going to gain confidence in myself again.

Would anyone here be on this site if they had a GF who wanted them. You're laying in bed and she starts to unbutton your pants because she wants you.

It doesn't matter once you know you have a GF who loves your penis. I feel like my penis is nothing special at this point. I guess I haven't given her anything worth missing.

[Perseverance]

Just had a wonderful talk with her on the phone. Nothing to do with sex. I haven't connected with her like that over the phone in a little bit. As weird as this may sound I just felt her love pouring over from the other end. I dunno. This relationship isn't my first rodeo. I feel like shes in it for the long haul. We've made a few long term commitments already. I'm just stuck on this one thing. And it's holding me back from being the best I truely can be.

I've been on edge so sorry if I've come off like a dick recently. You guys/gals on here are great. Love coming on here knowing I can speak my mind.

[Perseverance]

And the positive train takes a crash. It's period weekend folks. Next weekend is busy time. Both have things going on. Destined for more than a month with out sex.

I'm a man. And I'm about to go mad.

[Carl]

And the positive train takes a crash. It's period weekend folks. Next weekend is busy time. Both have things going on. Destined for more than a month with out sex.

I'm a man. And I'm about to go mad.

But.......they're more horny when they're on their period. At least that's what i heard. Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you think that this weekend would be a great opportunity for you to get laid? And like I said before if you want to fuck her, then go ahead and fuck her. Don't put it on a schedule or ask for permission, just do it. Come on, you're frustrated because you haven't got laid in soon to be over a month and yet you're just waiting for miracles to happen, if I understand you correctly. You need to take the initiative to get somewhere. If she responds well then that's a good sign and you should be proud for yourself.

[Perseverance]

It was "I'm on my period" as in. It's a no go. Not "I'm on my period" hope you're cool with that.

[Jessie]

mate- your hand doesnt have periods.....

I know its not quite the same but it will stop you going mad.

Personally I think its time you had a chat with her though... maybe she sees you as a dear friend and not a lover.... it happens sometimes...

[Perseverance]

I'm not going mad because I'm not ejaculating so my hand is not going to fix much. I'm going mad because I'm not being touched. But yeah. Maybe I'm a friend. Who the fuck knows anymore. I clearly don't have a clue

[Victimorthecrime]

bojwolb

[Perseverance]

Yea blowjob

[Cece.dedesl]

Carl, women are typically more horny during ovulation (after their period) not during their periods.

The human female body is designed to conceive during ovulation therefore simply based on perpetuating the species the female body is more primed and responsive during that time.

[Carl]

Carl, women are typically more horny during ovulation (after their period) not during their periods.

The human female body is designed to conceive during ovulation therefore simply based on perpetuating the species the female body is more primed and responsive during that time.

Thanks for the input Cece, I just learned something new today.

And to Perseverance, obviously you should listen to Cece instead of me about the subject of when women are more horny, because she's a woman.

However, as I said before you're the one who needs to take the initiative, don't wait for miracles to happen. Take action. In case you feel not confident enough, then sex books could really boost that confidence. Like I mentioned in the thread "Some theories" where knowledge is one factor that raise your confidence in that field. If you knew stuff like understanding her on a psychological level and her anatomy and techniques and tricks and what attractive etc etc, then you would probably be in a good position, when you become that person.

Just a suggestion, but it's all up to you.

[Perseverance]

What's wrong? That's the question I get this morning. Being it up and tell her how I feel and kill the entire reason why I'm upset.

"Hey honey you never bring me flowers"

Show up the next day with flowers.

Kills the entire true meaning of the act.

That's where I'm at.

[Cece.dedesl]

All relationships go through ruts. Someone has to make the first move to put the relationship back on track. You can either sit back and wait for her to do it or do it yourself however, the longer you both wait the harder it's going to be.

[Perseverance]

I look at it this way. I treat her good and I do all the little things. She already knows I want intimacy. We've had the talks. She's simply not considering my needs as a man. Going a month without touching me as a new average isn't fair. I'm supposed to accept that. It feels like a game at this point. I feel like she knows. How am I supposed to give my all and be the best I can be if I'm constantly feeling ignore and rejected.

Making the first move simply isn't an option and neither is talking about it. I'm tired of being the only one to ever consider the intimate state of our relationship.

Sucks because other than this I had a shit ton of fun being with her this weekend.

[Cece.dedesl]

What I hear you saying is..,she's not meeting my needs and I've done enough to warrant my needs being met and I shouldn't have to do anything more.

Thing is, if you truly want this relationship to work you are going to have to do more. There is an obvious misconnect going on between the two of you. You are both living in denial by going through the motions and not communicating.

If you are done putting forth effort then end it. You're just wasting each other's time at this point.

[Carl]

I look at it this way. I treat her good and I do all the little things. She already knows I want intimacy. We've had the talks. She's simply not considering my needs as a man. Going a month without touching me as a new average isn't fair. I'm supposed to accept that. It feels like a game at this point. I feel like she knows. How am I supposed to give my all and be the best I can be if I'm constantly feeling ignore and rejected.

Making the first move simply isn't an option and neither is talking about it. I'm tired of being the only one to ever consider the intimate state of our relationship.

Sucks because other than this I had a shit ton of fun being with her this weekend.

And now we're back on square number one. You think women are a machine that reward you with sex when you do good behavior. Oh my man just bought me chocolate, now I'm gonna have to fuck him. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY AND I ALREADY EXPLAINED IT EARLIER!!!!!!!! Don't make this relationship into a win - win deal like that. If you want to have sex, then go ahead and if not, then just keep waiting for miracles (it's not gonna happen).

Look every single time it's always the man who takes the initiative. You wanna dance? It's the man who ask the question. And the man starts the relationship and when a real man wants to have sex he makes sure he gets it. Over and over and over it's the man who takes the initiative AND YOU'RE THE MAN!!!!!! Sure there might be a few exceptions, but it's very rare to see a woman actually taking an initiative. They can respond to initiatives, but rarely do they take those themselves. If they're even making the first initiative to show interest in a guy it's usually a passive signal that is hard to read anyway, like for example, playing with her hair with her finger or imitate your body language or perhaps trying to make you notice her tits by pressing them out. You get the point, they're not saying it out loud.

Let me ask you a question. Who started your relationship? Who made that happen? I think that was you, wasn't it? You're the man and you take the initiative. I have waiting for women to show up for me, but noooooooooooo. Nothing, nada zipp. Such a waste of time to wait for the woman to take the initiative. If you want stuff to happen, then you're in charge of that. No one else.

Einstein got an interesting quote. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different result". Perseverance, you sir are insane. And I'm telling you that as a person who cares about you and your relationship and would like it to work out for you.

Read this sentence 4000 times and get it through your head. "PERSEVERANCE YOU ARE INSANE, YOU'RE DOING THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND YOUR TACTIC SIMPLY DON'T WORK BY WAITING FOR MIRACLES TO TAKE PLACE. YOU, PERSEVERANCE NEED TO START CHANGING YOUR MINDSET AND TACTIC FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP TO WORK. READ BOOKS, COME UP WITH IDEAS. AS LONG AS YOU GET THE RESULT YOU WANT". Read that 4000 times over and over.

P.S. I understand that it's hot when women take initiatives, like active initiatives and when they're desperate. Because the feeling the man gets is "Wow! I didn't have to do anything and I get this response out of her? Holy crap......I wonder what good stuff I could get out of her if I actually put in a performance into this whole act. Maybe a threesome with her friend, who knows?"

I was once like that myself, but then I realized that it's just not reality. It's just a very sweet dream.

P.P.S You're making angry with your excuses.