IrmaJean Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 You are likely an empathetic person, and this is a beautiful trait to have. It's true that he likely suffers from mental illness, but this is no excuse for him to abuse you. He is responsible for his own actions. You can have understanding about his struggles and still respect your needs and rights to be treated with kindness. It's okay to do what is best for yourself. If you forgive and feel compassion, that is your heart speaking and a gift you can give to yourself. Maybe now then have compassion for yourself too. You come first. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Thank u. Ur right. All of you have bren wonderful support fot me. Whrn confusion sets in. Or my thoughts race. Not knowing right or wrong. When ive been parilized with fear or having a good dsy. I go to here. Everyone of u has kind gental stern words of truth for me. Something I've not heard in long long time. You all have helped me so much. Many thanks. I'm working onny own compassion. I'm so use to giving it to him I forgot how to do me. Ill get it back. The lord is kind. I'm sure I'm deffenatly due for some kindness. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 I finished this painting yesterday. I love lighthouses. My art is one area he didn't touch and still cmanaged just managed. To lock it away. I got the key. Here it is. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Who cares why he is the way he is? What seems important is that you aren't safe (to be you, at least) with him around. He may not be able to stop being the way he is, but there's no reason you have to be his victim.My ex-wife had her share of issues, and I was trapped as long as I thought I had a chance of fixing them. She's still broken, but I don't have to be broken with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Ahhhh. Malign.. u always give me staingth. Your words are always so strong and powerful for me. I always cry. ( for the good.) Thank you. Your an awesome man. :-). YOUR RIGHT. WHO CARES ABOUT HIS FEELIBG OR NOT. He never did mine. Someone needs to. And that simeone is me. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 I see your lighthouse. Thank you so much for sharing. It's beautiful. :-)Sending you care and kindness. Be well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 That is a beautiful painting, Cd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 Your welcome. I'm glad u like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2013 I don't umderstand. I can't get my emotions under control. My feelings are so hurt. I'm angry all time and fightened. Crying daily. I hate him. I'm so crippled. I miss him. And don't ever want to see him. What's wrong wirh me?? I keep telling myself. He did this. Its not my fault. He hurts me. I hv to stay away. Its not working. I can't get him outta my head. I think maybe he right. I need to die to stop my pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 4, 2013 Report Share Posted May 4, 2013 I'm here and listening. I'm so sorry for this pain and confusion. You've been abused and traumatized and this hurts.Are you able to connect with your light today, Donna? Can I call you Donna? Your light shines beautifully in your art. I see it and it is a gift. You are a gift. I hope you can find some comfort. I'm sending my love and care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2013 ive always enjoyed watching Humming birds at my window. So I painted this one. Yes u may finally call me by my name. Thank u for asking. I was able to find peace within me thru my art. This area isn't contaminated or piluted at all by him. See? He hadn't touched it. :-) I need more good days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2013 ive always enjoyed watching Humming birds at my window. So I painted this one. Yes u may finally call me by my name. Thank u for asking. I was able to find peace within me thru my art. This area isn't contaminated or piluted at all by him. See? He hadn't touched it. :-) I need more good days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 7, 2013 Report Share Posted May 7, 2013 Donna, this is so beautiful! All of your paintings are beautiful. It's wonderful that you found peace within yourself through your art. This is your light. :-) I hope you have more good days.Take gentle care of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2013 Thank u. Ur so kind. Its funny that I still remember how to paint. Its been almost 6 years. I'm not even rusty. I've looked at other paintings and drawings of mine in the past. What I'm doing now is much better. How is that? Weird isn't it? I am proud of my humming bird. Id love to paint something for you. What do u like? Pink flowers I know. What else. There are 4 of u helping me. I want to paint for each one if I may. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted May 7, 2013 Report Share Posted May 7, 2013 You are really talented. Can you paint a cat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2013 Yes I can paint a cat. Ill have it done by tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted May 7, 2013 Report Share Posted May 7, 2013 I can paint a cat, but it really annoys them. They hate how it feels on their fur. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 8, 2013 Report Share Posted May 8, 2013 I can't wait to see your cat painting. I do love pink flowers, this is true. What else? I enjoy anything nature related. Maybe something that makes your heart smile. Thank you so much for sharing with us, Donna. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2013 Malign that's funny. I've read alit of ur posts. U enjoy ur humor. :-) so here is ur cat. Its not as good as my flowers. But its a cat. :-) I saw him today at the bank. He tried talking to me. I kept walking got into my car and drove away. I started crying even at my 1st appt with my theripest. Cried my whole time. Went to bank to get money for gas so I can see theripest for 1st time. Go figure. I reallt felt dumb for rest of day. I'm feeling lil better night tho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted May 9, 2013 Report Share Posted May 9, 2013 Love your cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted May 9, 2013 Report Share Posted May 9, 2013 I kept walking got into my car and drove away.Good for you, Donna. It's great that you went to therapy. I cried a lot when I went to therapy too. It happens. I hope you have a supportive therapist who will help you on the path to healing. It's good you are feeling a little better tonight.Sweet kitty painting! He's so cute, all curled up and sleeping. I love it! I hope you enjoyed painting him. Thanks for sharing. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Thank u Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Its easier dealing with a broken back. I was in car accedent in my 20s fractures my l4. Few years later my disc crumbled l4 l5. Horrible pain. Nothing compairs to my head now. I want physical pain. This emotion shit sucks. AHHHGHHH!!!!!! My thoughts are irrational. How did I allow this man to take me over as much as he did. I'm hurting so bad. At least with physical pain people know. They see. Its easy to talk about it. I can't figure out what's real or what's a program. I'm pretty strong. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. REALLY?? GOD? ARE YOU SERIOUS??? He really thinks I can do this. So ok pain and all. I'm here. Reaching out for help. Our lord knows I can do this. So I wont let satin or evil in to cast doubt. I wont except anymore pain. MAN THIS TRULY SUCKS!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted May 10, 2013 Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Okay, I can hear you feel pain. Can you tell us more about it? {If it were physical pain, I'd be asking where does it hurt ...}It may help you to describe what hurts because that might get you to a part of your brain that can see that you're hurt instead of just feeling it. Then maybe you'll be able to find a way to hold out a helping hand to yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confusedaily Posted May 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2013 Simple things. Ketchup or ranch with french fries.he likes ranch. We ate them with ranch. I like ketchup. So why am I still eating them with ranch. And when I. Get the ketchup I have a hard time putting it on my plate So I go back to ranch. I DONT EVEN LIKE RANCH. CONFUSION IS PAIN TO ME. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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