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What would doctor think..?

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What if I told to my doctor that I believe that I have ability to influence ppl just by my will, to make my "target" to feel certain way about me with out doing anything. controle their mind and feelings the way i want to. Can reach some ppls mind just by my will.

And what if I told that I know a person who can read others mind and not only that?

It's an important part of my life and developement of my life. My choices, decidions and feelings.

I know the ansver - strongest medication. Why not hospitalization directly?

But what if I not only believe in my powers, what if i have seen the results??

What if i told that I'm religious..

Today I believe that I've been a little manic in the past caz now I've dropped my greatness. Thanx to medication. But thanx to God I never want to start it all over again caz for 1st time in my life I've realized that I'm nobody. And that's who I actually am, that's who I am in front of God - nobody.

I want to do the right things further.

I can't make anybody to believe in God. Not even God can caz he's too good to make anybody to do something. He let us choose first.

Hovever my doctor has no idea about my past and my beliefs. It's better he doesn't know caz I still believe that it's not imaginary or something "crazy".

But that's exactly what doctors would think. Just tell them once and you'll get a diagnosis directly and you will have to come back again and again.

Tell them you're depressed, nobody will care enough to see that you come back again..

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Hello Luna!

Thanx for your reply!

I am feeling depressed and restless at the same time. I'm not moving out of home and I don't know how to make myself to. So I'm spending my time trying to figure out something new to get myself to go out, move, do something. But I haven't succeded jet. I can not leave home just like that (without thinking) either. So I don't know what to do.

I've tryed all kind of medication, now only lithium is left. Though I have been told to not wait for miracles, that I need to activate myself, to go out to take a walk atleast. But I can't, I don't know why. The more I try to get myself doing that the worse it gets. And at the same time I can't see that a medicine could change me. I don't know what is wrong. However I'm fine. I'm patient and optimistic for some reason lol.

Yeah I'm fine.

Even though I'm taking medication against bipolar disorder, the doctor doesn't want to make it as the official diagnosis jet.

I am almost sure that it is. I'm experiencing mixed episode every day and for a very long time now. Antidepresants alone make me very restless.

So I thought if I tell this to my doctor, he'll get it. But at the same time he might consider me as a gone with the wind totally.

I'm functioning as manic OR as depressed. But now I refuse to enter manic state ever again. But I don't know how to get myself to function the other way, normal way. I always followed my impulsions. But I don't want to be manic anymore, then you just.. don't think clearly, you feel like you can rule the world. But it's so wrong.. I have wasted enough of time on that. I get nowhere by being like that. I choose not to be like that but then again I'm stuck and confused. But I'll wait :)

It was nice to get my thoughts written down here.

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