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Jeep
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I hear ya jeep. You have a right to your feelings. I cringe anytimes someone tries to invalidate another. They say things like "how's that working for you" and "don't be silly" and "that does not make sense" and "others have even worse problems" and "couldn't you find more constructive things to do?" "you have do many other good qualities" what these folks fail to ccomprehend is that the world of emotion stands apart from reason. They intersect at a point or two but are largely distinct. I say accept your feelings. Acceptance is transcendence and trancendence is transformation. "be all that you can be"? No I say "you are all that you can be"

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Hi, Jeep :)

Why does it have to be a "man" thing, that that physical part has to be apart of a self-esteem? Im a man, and there are some others here that dont regard a persons worth or value in a relationship(sexually or not) to a body part. Can you be open to having a sort of rating scale of your size could be a distortion interms of your desirability and appreciation from your woman in your relationship? That its not something she overlooks or accepts from you inspite of.

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I was meaning that your g/f didnt enjoy having sex with you despite your size. That she might have an emotional connection to you also and a person with a larger penis just couldnt replace. The feeling she has or experiences is unique to you and your size might not be a concern of hers...

Also, what exactly is performing like a man though? You say you dont judge others this way, so why do you put that on yourself so harshly? Do you feel like she performs as a woman or that theres a definition of how a woman should perform? I think a woman could appreciate a man fully without his size being an issue in her mind, either being abnormally big or small, with her not being critical of it.

You also say you can please a woman, and that woman think differntly about sex in ways. The pleasure this woman gets being with you might not be any higher if your penis was 1 2 or 3 inches bigger and that you actually are being appreciated in her eyes as a man.

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The thing is Jeep....

Technically- you are correct in what you say.

I have been through the exact same thought processes myself, many 100s of times.

BUT

the fact that you are correct is a HOLLOW victory. This is one debate you don't wanna win right?

Well the facts... yeah the majority of girls do put a lot of emphasis on width, being filled up etc (the pressure stimulation of the vestibular bulbs)

Do they prefer the look and feel of a bigger one? yep the vast majority do- no denying it

is it cool to be bigger? - universally so

would it feel better to you and your partner if you gained an inch in length and girth- yes of course- a noticeable improvment on a variety of fronts.

Will they talk about it to their friends?- I hate this- yes they do- women are very communicative and go into insanely forensic detail.

An ex GF told me stuff about her ex BF and couldn't understand my outrage. I have heard girls talk about their guys in minute detail. WTF! I have never done that about an GF of mine to ANYONE.

So- what can be done?...

first get your head straight...

1. you cannot change your size.. accept it.

2. some women don't care that much... they prefer clitoral/oral and are content to not be filled etc

3. some women are more orientated about pleasing their partner and being desirable.. their own pleasure is an afterthought.

4. some women like both but are content to use dildos. if you are not offended by their use

5. some will reject you out of hand. MOVE on. We all reject others on physic attributes. Its life on planet earth.

6. Dont expect an overnight change in your mindset. One day at time. There will still be some black days. You will have your size you whole life. You need a long term strategy and will need to pick yourself up now and again.

7. Having a small one is better than losing a leg or arm or being disfigured. It really is.

8. Having a working small one is better than impotence.

9. You could be smaller! you would notice the difference in pleasure if you were an inch smaller in G&L. Rejoice you are not as small as some.

10. Some women are passionate about relationships and place little value on sex. They can go years without it- its a minor thing to them.

These are not in any order. kind of flow of thought-

a. be selective about the girls you date- avoid overtly sexual girls

b. dont mention your size, be confident, try your best in bed

c. don't apologise for your body

d. dont allow any degrading treatment from you partner.

e. live a diverse life- this helps with lonliness and makes you more attractive

f. be less judgmental about others looks... you and i both need to work on that.

Read some posts from the girls on here. Some are adamant they dont care about size. I for one believe them.

You don't need to date the entire female population of the planet. You only need one to like you as you are.

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Thanks for the post.

I know you mean well, but I cannot accept this situation, I feel that path leads to me being happy with being a boy, it will never happen, that is masochistic as far as I am concerned.

I am thinking of trying some stretch exercises but I get angry, so very angry when I am confronted with it, god I can't even write about it.

I know some ladies are okay with this sort of thing, I think they are missing out on something.

Anyway thanks for the post I just disagree with some of the last part, I am not going to dissect it like a jerk, we have differing beliefs that's all.

I just have one question. Are you overweight?

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The thing is Jeep....

Technically- you are correct in what you say.

I have been through the exact same thought processes myself, many 100s of times.

BUT

the fact that you are correct is a HOLLOW victory. This is one debate you don't wanna win right?

Well the facts... yeah the majority of girls do put a lot of emphasis on width, being filled up etc (the pressure stimulation of the vestibular bulbs)

Do they prefer the look and feel of a bigger one? yep the vast majority do- no denying it

is it cool to be bigger? - universally so

would it feel better to you and your partner if you gained an inch in length and girth- yes of course- a noticeable improvment on a variety of fronts.

Will they talk about it to their friends?- I hate this- yes they do- women are very communicative and go into insanely forensic detail.

An ex GF told me stuff about her ex BF and couldn't understand my outrage. I have heard girls talk about their guys in minute detail. WTF! I have never done that about an GF of mine to ANYONE.

So- what can be done?...

first get your head straight...

1. you cannot change your size.. accept it.

2. some women don't care that much... they prefer clitoral/oral and are content to not be filled etc

3. some women are more orientated about pleasing their partner and being desirable.. their own pleasure is an afterthought.

4. some women like both but are content to use dildos. if you are not offended by their use

5. some will reject you out of hand. MOVE on. We all reject others on physic attributes. Its life on planet earth.

6. Dont expect an overnight change in your mindset. One day at time. There will still be some black days. You will have your size you whole life. You need a long term strategy and will need to pick yourself up now and again.

7. Having a small one is better than losing a leg or arm or being disfigured. It really is.

8. Having a working small one is better than impotence.

9. You could be smaller! you would notice the difference in pleasure if you were an inch smaller in G&L. Rejoice you are not as small as some.

10. Some women are passionate about relationships and place little value on sex. They can go years without it- its a minor thing to them.

These are not in any order. kind of flow of thought-

a. be selective about the girls you date- avoid overtly sexual girls

b. dont mention your size, be confident, try your best in bed

c. don't apologise for your body

d. dont allow any degrading treatment from you partner.

e. live a diverse life- this helps with lonliness and makes you more attractive

f. be less judgmental about others looks... you and i both need to work on that.

Read some posts from the girls on here. Some are adamant they dont care about size. I for one believe them.

You don't need to date the entire female population of the planet. You only need one to like you as you are.

That deserves a like.

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I say DITTO to Mr RetOJohn above regarding Jesse post. When I spoke of acceptance in my post that is the gist of what I was trying to say.

We would all love to be handsome brilliant well hung millionaires & a lot of the messages men receive in western culture is that lacking this you are worthless. This negativity fuels capitalism - we are forced to strive to earn money, achieve awards, purchase everything from sports cars to fitness supplements in hopes that the goddess matriarchy will one day smile upon us.

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I feel you man, penis size effects so much more then just sex. Even if women would not care about penis size (which they do...) its still a problem because you cant feel like a man with 3-4 inch penis, people don’t understand that. I’m not happy with my junk and I never will be. Only way to solve it is bigger penis which I wont live long enough to see, since I think plastic surgery which will involve some sort of steam cells injection wont be available for another 30-50 years...

So our life’s are ruined over few stupid inches....

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I feel you man, penis size effects so much more then just sex. Even if women would not care about penis size (which they do...) its still a problem because you cant feel like a man with 3-4 inch penis, people don’t understand that. I’m not happy with my junk and I never will be. Only way to solve it is bigger penis which I wont live long enough to see, since I think plastic surgery which will involve some sort of steam cells injection wont be available for another 30-50 years...

So our life’s are ruined over few stupid inches....

I get why you feel less than male with small junk- I think its inevitable.

I guess guys who lack height feel that way a bit too.

perhaps skinny guys have not dissimilar feelings.

I know there is an added sting with dick size as its what you use, its a tool, its the instrument of sexual union, its supposed to supply pleasure (and urinate) and is fetishised by many.

But its the only one you have so you have to sideline your understandable and basically logical feelings.

And your life isnt ruined.... ok, so you are maybe 'less' attractive to most girls due to having a small one compared to if you had an average or big one, but you would also be less attractive if you were 4ft tall or disfigured or disfigured, or a racist or a moron.

You have a (slightly) unattractive physical feature. Most people have several. Its on your neg list. (not for all girls but many, sure)

But on your pros list: it works, it could be smaller!, you are articulate and bright by the looks of things, you have a working tongue and fingers.

We all gotta play the hand we were dealt.

Yeah, in the sexual arena you gotta try harder than many guys, but you don't have to try as hard as the dwarf/disabled person/shorter stature person!

And those guys, they can try too! and sooner or later things will happen for them... and its the same for you.

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O.K. Thanks, well sex isn't about all that emotional having a connection stuff, it is very physical.

To me, this is something you can possibly challenge to change your views some or at least be open to other possibilities.

Just offering my thoughts here and I respect everyone's feelings and beliefs. From a personal standpoint and as a woman, sex is very much about emotional connection to me. It can be an expression of an emotion with the physical. It's that deep emotional connection with the person I'm with that makes it pleasurable to me. The rest is gravy. Size, to me, has no significance at all. It's about the person connecting with, understanding, and sharing with me. If I love him, I'm naturally going to love his body as well, just as it is.

Maybe just a different view to consider?

Take care.

Edited by IrmaJean
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Thanks for the comments everyone, in reply to Carl no I am not overweight I lost some fat to stop "recessing" and because I was never that fat it didn't make much difference to be honest.

What's your current weight and length? Would appreciate if you mentioned those in kilograms and centimeters, but it's not necessarily. Just want to calculate your BMI (Body Mass Index) to make sure it's somewhere between 19-25.

Edit: I'm not talking about whether you look overweight, it's more interesting to find out whether you actually are overweight.

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175cm 68ish Kg

Ok your BMI is indeed 22,2. Just wanted to check to make sure. So you're not technically overweight. One thing you can do to make it look bigger is shaving the pubes. Even though it's not actually bigger, it will give you an illusion that might be helpful for you.

My current weight is 73,4 kg and my height is 170 cm, so my BMI 25,4 and that makes me a bit overweight. However I'm building muscles right now and muscles are heavier than body fat. However I do have a fatpad around my private area and could perhaps end up at 5 inches or so if I get rid of that fatpad. I go to the gym 4 times a weak and I'm on a Low-Carb High-Fat High-Protein diet.

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