Then I thought about it

[Mutton]

Here we go again, another night with filled anxiety but then it hit me.

reality did.

honestly, penis size doesn't matter unless you're shooting for a porno. we've come to this society tainted industry that says bigger is better, and that's just not true.

a girls going to be more interested in how good of a boyfriend you are to her, that's what it ultimately comes down to.

There's going to be plenty of guys with bigger dicks than you and me (i'm average so roughly 49% of guys are bigger than me). but that doesn't matter because even if a guy has a bigger dick than you, if you're an overall better partner and if you're overall a better boyfriend.. you'll have the upper hand in the end.

girls want happiness, to find a guy she can be herself with and laugh and get through anything together... when we look on a cosmic scale, our lives are limited. don't let something like this ruin your happiness... if a girls shallow enough to ditch a potential once in a lifetime relationship, then her loss. you did your job in being a good boyfriend or husband. and that's all you should do

[Victimorthecrime]

Right Mutton. Porn and Internet in general have impacted people horribly. Sure penis size matters to some degree for most women but it is ONE thing among many factors they look for in a relationship.

Personally I think women want a man who is physically, emotionally, & intellectually strong; I think we were lied to that they want the sensitive type but that is just my opinion based my interpretation of what I have seen.

Regardless though, all people have the right (or should) to their own preferences so it makes little sense to dwell on what we cannot control but rather the things we can like loving & accepting yourself which by the way is a strength in itself that people find attractive.

Good luck to you!

[dvnJ22]

the majority say they want that, but they really dont. im not going to say all but most women are not good people. I do not place men any higher then women, i am not a misogynist - rather a misanthrope. I also do not hold myself in a higher posistion, i have no disillusion superiority, i am well aware of my inferiorty.

[IrmaJean]

I think we were lied to that they want the sensitive type but that is just my opinion based my interpretation of what I have seen.

For whatever it's worth, I personally really admire sensitive in a man and find that attractive. Every person is different. The idea being to shine as the person you are...

[Victimorthecrime]

For whatever it's worth, I personally really admire sensitive in a man and find that attractive. Every person is different. The idea being to shine as the person you are...

[Victimorthecrime]

Thanx Irma Jean it is worth something. I am not trying to be obstinate, I don't wanna feel this way. I believe you in what you say, I just cannot honestly say I have seen very often where an emotional, sensitive, relatively kind man finds a wife. I should begin reaching out again now that I am a bit older. I would be happy w a platonic friend as long as she was bright witty informed and conversational. I am not as wimpy as I seem I can handle conflict now and I will not tolerate verbal/emotional abuse - rather be alone. But don't want to end on a down note, I feel a small ray of hope.

[u.r.what.u.is]

Thanx Irma Jean it is worth something. I am not trying to be obstinate, I don't wanna feel this way. I believe you in what you say, I just cannot honestly say I have seen very often where an emotional, sensitive, relatively kind man finds a wife. I should begin reaching out again now that I am a bit older. I would be happy w a platonic friend as long as she was bright witty informed and conversational. I am not as wimpy as I seem I can handle conflict now and I will not tolerate verbal/emotional abuse - rather be alone. But don't want to end on a down note, I feel a small ray of hope.

Good post, keep that hope alive. Definitely reach out! If you respect yourself in the ways I think you are increasingly doing, some women will take note...however, you still need to reach out. Don't do what I did in my 20's...wait in the corner and hope they latch onto me.

[Wastedlife]

we've come to this society tainted industry that says bigger is better, and that's just not true.

a

Well a lot of women say bigger is better...I mean you cant deny this...lol And most women who say they are ok with a average will say anything below 4 inches is not workable. I don’t know where you getting this size don’t matter opinion from? From men who wish it didn’t matter?

[malign]

WL, this is actually the question, when it comes to the whole idea of SPS.

What if you're completely right about other people's opinions. Some people (or many, neither one is a number, and there's wide variations in the numbers that you hear quoted) say that size matters. Why does what they say matter? Who gave them a say in your life? I'm sure there are lots of other things that "many people" believe that you disagree with. Why does their belief win on this particular subject?

What we come down to is the question: Isn't every belief a choice?

There's a chain of reasoning, partly unspoken, behind the SPS issue. It goes:

1. Some women say that a man with a small penis is useless.

2. I want to please women; pleasing women defines my masculinity.

3. Because of who I am (measurably, or who I believe I am), I won't please the women in 1.

-> Therefore, I am less of a man.

This all sounds very plausible. Until you substitute a different item 1, like "Some women say that a man who isn't rich is useless", or "Some women say that a man who isn't the most handsome is useless". In fact, every man has some deficiency that could be listed as 1; only the perfect have no traits that could be listed in 1. Even then, because different people have different tastes, different women will have different ideas of what "perfect" means.

And I hope you'll notice that my argument doesn't just apply to things a guy can change. If he isn't rich, you could say, he could try to get rich, and then he wouldn't be useless any more. Except that (unless he was perfect except for being rich) there are still deficiencies that some women could list as 1. It doesn't matter whether the deficiency is or is not changeable, then, because either way, we've all still got some.

The real catch, I think, is that guys often conclude that the "some women" in 1 really is, or is close to, or might as well be, "all women".

And that's no longer a matter of logic; that's a belief. A choice.

Your last question is really revealing: you say that the only men who believe size doesn't matter are those "who wish it didn't". The first step in your reasoning is the assumption, the belief, that size does matter. Then, obviously, anyone who believed otherwise must just be indulging in wishful thinking. Well, okay, you're entitled to your beliefs. But it can't hurt to recognize that it is a belief, and that others might believe otherwise.