Perseverance Posted April 29, 2013 Report Share Posted April 29, 2013 I would love a response from the Ladies on this one. Recently I have been thinking about going back to the sex shop with my GF. I was thinking about asking her if she would want to buy a toy or anything really. Vibrator dildo or whatever she wanted. I've been thinking it would be kind of fun as I'm caring less and less about having a small penis. I just want to have fun sex. I'm not worried about being replaced as my right hand will never replace her. It just doesn't make sense ya know? Anyways I just want to present this idea in the best way possible. I don't want to come off like "well since I know I can't please you let's just go out and buy you a dildo" you know what I mean. She says she orgasms and the sex is good. I just want to get back to being completely care free like I was before I mentioned my penis fear. So for the few women on here what do you think. Good idea bad idea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted April 29, 2013 Report Share Posted April 29, 2013 It all depends on your gf. Maybe start off small and try a bullet and see how she responds. I believe you mentioned she didn't seem very interested in dildos and vibrators on your last trip. Bullets can be used to add extra clitoral stimulation during intercourse, oral or manual play. Maybe pick one up and surprise her in the bedroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perseverance Posted April 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2013 Yea but I'm wondering if its possible she might have wanted to try something like that before but might have been a little nervous to mention it considering my size. Or maybe she just doesn't care. I dunno. Just felt like feeling this out a little bit before bringing it up. I mean I'm pretty open now about doing whatever. Hoping that kind of turns her on as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted April 30, 2013 Report Share Posted April 30, 2013 If you think she may be uncomfortable then take the initiative and buy a couple of things to try. Show her you have no issues introducing toys into the bedroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perseverance Posted April 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2013 I kind of would like for her to just pick what she likes without having her to feel nervous about upsetting me. Since I brought this whole dick thing up she knows I'm insecure about it. So I'm not sure shes going to be as open as she would have been prior. I just want to get back to basics because I really don't give a shit anymore. I just want to have fun and get past all of this. I was so against toys a while ago. I guess I'm over myself. I get 100% satisfaction from her and she deserves the same. That's if shes not getting it ya know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted April 30, 2013 Report Share Posted April 30, 2013 Maybe she will once she knows you're okay with it. Asking her to pick out something before you open the door might not get you anywhere. She may think it's a test and worry that she'll offend you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Posted April 30, 2013 Report Share Posted April 30, 2013 Interesting topic.Currently reading a book called "How to become an alpha male" from John Alexander. Haven't read it through though, but I do have something to add to this conversation. Still learning so keep that in mind. Whether you don't fully agree then it could still be worth it, to bring up the subject.Now what you want is to make this seem like it's a reward from a good behavior, not something desperate to make sure that she stays with you. Because when men are desperate it makes them look like the have a low value. They don't have standards and will buy her expensive gifts in hopes for her to have sex with him, which will in turn make her feel like a prostitute. So don't make it seem desperate. Women however can be desperate, because that's hot. Already brought up that point in some other thread.If I were in your situation I would have picked the sex toys, specially if I already have stated that I was insecure about the whole penis size thing. Like Cece just said she would probably be scared to insult you, because she knows that you are or were insecure about this whole penis size thing. If you pick the sex toys then that will implicitly tell her that you're okay with this and you obviously want to reward her for a good behavior. However if you're gonna use sex toys then I would recommend that it's not a replacement of your penis, but instead it's more of an addon. You do not use it all the time.Let's say that you never penetrated her again.....ever. What would that say about you? It would say that you gave up trying to become really good with the technique of your penis and it would also say that your penis isn't valuable. A sex toy, no matter how advanced it is, will never replace a human being. And that's because sex suppose to be very mental. Sure there's some physical stimulation, but it's not priority number one.Let's look at that from this perspective. What if sex was all about physical stimulation? Well all you needed to do was to go down to a sex shop and get yourself a fleshlight and you wouldn't even need a woman in your life. Hey you can even adjust the tightness. However in reality, that's not the case.So you're gonna buy the sex toy to implicitly tell her that you're not insecure anymore and that action could also implicitly say that you're the one who's dominant (you make the rules, we're gonna use this specific sex toy no matter what your preferences are) and she's the submissive one following the rules.And hey, you made your girl scream, right? Was it last Wednesday, perhaps? I don't remember. Anyway you're not hopeless and there's a whole bunch of stuff that you can do to improve both yourself and your sex life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted April 30, 2013 Report Share Posted April 30, 2013 I'm not too sure about this whole reward thing or telling her what she will or will not use in the bedroom but I still think you should just pick up some toys and surprise her. It will take the awkwardness out of it. After you open that door it will be easy to ask her opinion on toys or have her pick out her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 Tread carefully with toys....The upside is they never go flaccid, you can choose the exact size to match the females preference and if she needs fullness toys can provide that.HOWEVER-its bound to be painful watching the girl you love getting off on a 'penis' much bigger than yours- if she really likes it she will be reminded of what she is missing by not being with a bigger guy- most girls want to be filled by 'real dick' not a plastic one. this is fair enough, would guys want a plastic vagina or a real woman to make love to?- after toy use, both parties are likely to be very unfulfilled by intercourse, she will notice the comparative lack of sensation with the slimmer real penis and he will notice a slight loosening of her (I have read is journals where women are slightly, non permanently, stretched by having relations with long term larger lovers)And if you use multi- function ones (like the rabbit) I have heard several women say intercourse couldnt compare to the vibe and it damaged the relationship - in some cases causing divorce- this is direct reportage by the way.On the other hand I have read sexperts praising toy use. So - I dunno- just be cautious I reckon.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wastedlife Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 Using toys on women because your penis cant cut it is more then embarrassing its pathetic and humiliating. If a women wants to get off she can use a toys on her own why would she need our pathetic ass...women want to be with men because they want to feel mans penis inside of them, its even proven that when man ejaculates inside the women it creates very strong bond for her and emotions of love. “We should use toys” advice is just worthless advice that solves nothing on the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 One of the things that makes this forum particularly difficult is that there seems to be an assumption that everybody here is essentially similar, just because you share one particular problem. It's important to keep in mind that that's not true: you're just as different from each other as any other sample of humanity selected based on one trait.With that in mind, I don't see any advice as univerally useless. It may work, for some people. Certainly, this thread is not proposing that using sex toys is a solution that will work for anybody else, only that it might work for the OP. He's hopeful that it will help in his and his wife's sex life; he wasn't putting it forward as a general solution.As an example of how people are all different, I've heard women say that they would refuse to use toys, unless it was their man using it on her. My ex-wife tried to convince me that me masturbating without her was the same as cheating. Now, I don't put forward her ideas as any kind of "truth"; she definitely had her own issues. But it is an example of how variable people are, especially in their sexual interests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 Lol.... I guess the next time one of friend's complain about a lack a foreplay and variety in the bedroom, I'll just let them know that we are with men only for dick. Too funny! Perseverance 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perseverance Posted May 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 I'm pretty much over it. Unless she says something down the road than that's a different story. Remember I'm the one who brought light to this penis thing in the first place. My GF never had anything negative to say. With that being said I'm just interested in general and think it could be fun for both of us. Anal beads, cuffs, vibrators whatever. Why would she need me? Well I have more in common with my GF than a vibrator. First off, I'm human and thats a major one. Going to the beach, going to concerts, excercising, going out to dinner or for drinks, cuddling and watching a movie, giving and receiving back rubs, listening to her day or what's on her mind, holding her hand and walking around a craft fair, traveling, weekend getaways, hanging out with friends, taking the dog to the park and playing with him, good morning/night texts, cooking dinner for each other, volunteering for charity, going to the movies, motivating each other and giving each other a boost, letting the person know whatever happens you'll be there, buying flowers to brighten her day are just some of the things I do and things I share in common with my GF. The vibrator can only serve one purpose. Add spice or help achieve an orgasm. Like we've said a thousand times most girls regardless of penis size have difficulty achieving orgasm vaginally. Until a vibrator can start complimenting her and taking her out to dinner, buying her a house and taking her to the carribean I think I'm safe. And what if I get off on her getting off? Even with a sex toy. What's the crime in adding something where we both find pleasure. Hey I'm speculating on this but I think it's a possibility. You know she always mentions how her tits are small. Which they're really not. I love her tits. They're awesome. She, I would assume based off her comments is not exactly thrilled with her tits but who knows she might be fine with them. But she made it a point to mention the size. She probably has a totally different view how she sees her chest while I see them as a wonderful treat! Who knows it could be the same about my dick. But I will wait. Wait for the dark cloud to arrive on my post and drop a massive poison filled bomb on it. I'm ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wastedlife Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 I never said using toys is a bad thing, I’m sure there a grate and fun ADDITION to a healthy sex life, but there not a substitute for a penis... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perseverance Posted May 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 Of course they're not. I don't think I said that was the goal here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 Just out of curiosity what types of toys are you looking for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perseverance Posted May 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 I don't really care. Anything really. If she sees something she likes then cool. Lets get it. If its for her or me or it could be for both of us. I'm not even trying to say we need it in the bedroom. I just think I'm past ruining my life over the hand I was dealt. Other than a small dick I have a pretty good life. So I'm just like if we can add something to enhance what we already have in the bedroom I'm not going to be against it anymore. It's like being handed a plate of delicious fillet mignon and mashed potatoes and adding a little "gravy" on top Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 Actually Pers,The "Automatic Orgasmo Veined 3000" is not only a vibe but also makes phone calls and can prepare a small range of sushi dishes.So you may need to more worried than you realise... Perseverance 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perseverance Posted May 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 Actually Pers,The "Automatic Orgasmo Veined 3000" is not only a vibe but also makes phone calls and can prepare a small range of sushi dishes.So you may need to more worried than you realise...Good lord, what have I done......? :-0 Jessie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 I do have to wonder what the sound reception is like, on a vibraphone ...I bet they get a lot of them returned to the vendor because the only sound people can get out of them is the sound of orgasms ...And I don't want to know how you get sushi out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cece.dedesl Posted May 2, 2013 Report Share Posted May 2, 2013 I don't know... The sushi is the most interesting aspect to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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