1st Face to Face counseling in 26 years!

[Victimorthecrime]

I had face to face therapy today for the first time in 26 years. My company offers 5 free secessions called EAP - employee assistance plan. ***The reason I am posting this is to encourage anyone who is thinking about it to go to talk therapy***

I was really nervous at first but once I started to open up I felt better about things, more balanced.

[IrmaJean]

That is great that you are getting support for yourself, VBN1C, and wonderful that you felt more balanced after opening up. :-) I hope your therapy continues to be helpful to you. I agree that talk therapy can be very beneficial.

Take care.

[Luna-]

Glad to hear it, V. Therapy has been good for me, too.

[Victimorthecrime]

Glad to hear it, V. Therapy has been good for me, too.

[Victimorthecrime]

Luna-

Yesterday, 03:18 AM

Glad to hear it, V. Therapy has been good for me, too.

Thanks Luna. Just hearing myself talk I could hear how off the mark some of my concerns are. Hope to go once a month

[malign]

VB, I hope you've explored what your company may offer beyond EAP. Quite often, the EAP is meant as a sort of triage, a first encounter to assess what's needed. They may offer you something you could afford, after that, too.

[Victimorthecrime]

VB, I hope you've explored what your company may offer beyond EAP. Quite often, the EAP is meant as a sort of triage, a first encounter to assess what's needed. They may offer you something you could afford, after that, too.

[Victimorthecrime]

Thanks Malign - I still have 4 more EAP and after that there is MH "benefit" but w my deductible it will cost money but I will stick w it because it is worth it. I live alone & get very caught up in my head so it was good to hear myself talk outloud, it cleared things up somehow.

Got lucky this therapist is a mature woman quite good, listens, questions.

[Victimorthecrime]

Thought I would update this. Saw the EAP therapist for the allotted # of visits & while she was nice she was not the therapist for me and here is why: I was looking for someone to assist me in looking inward to uncover my motivations for negative behavior but her orientation was polar opposite.

She basically would each session get me to agree to a 'to do' list of action items designed to improve my life. At first it was ok because I was hopeful but then over time I was not keeping up and not accomplishing & actually became depressed for a time.

Anyone ever had a similar experience? Is there a way to prequalify a suitable therapist?

[finding my way]

Question: can you picture yourself telling her how you feel, that you would like to spend some time uncovering your motivations?

Just wondered if you would feel comfortable doing that. It can feel very threatening to speak your truth. I don't know how she would handle it, but maybe it would be worth trying, at least to hear yourself speak up about it?

I have been through many many therapists, btw I think you just have to dig in and hope for the best. I try to acknowledge the lesson in each attempt.

[Victimorthecrime]

Yes I am comfortable opening up but I think she was more of the life coach style therapist whereas I sought psycho therapy. Her ideas & approach were solid, and I got some good things out of it but her orientation is external and I am seeking internal. I think I need more of a new age therapist but that could be expensive because they are not EAP which means free of charge. Still pondering...

[IrmaJean]

There are many different therapy modalities, and each therapist has his/her own style as well. It can take some time to find a good match. Sounds like you might be looking for something more existential than your previous therapist offered. I hope you are able to find an affordable therapist who you can work with.

Take care, VBN1C.

[Victimorthecrime]

Yes Irma, someone more existential. I know what do outwardly, it is my motivations that allude me. The term "self sabotage" is a bit of a pop psychology platitude but it really applies to me and I would love to figure out why.

[finding my way]

I would think you could find someone to work on that, V! I hope you are able to soon. Are there patterns that repeat for you? Being able to stand back and observe yourself can really help sometimes.