Alone at 20 years old. I shall be a monster. Please, help me

[miibay]

Hi,

I'm 20 years and have 0 friends. For all my life, I've been living in a fantasy world to avoid thinking of my lack of experiences in all social levels. I dress simple but not in a ugly way, I study at the university and I don't have a closed mind. People disrespect me all the time. Sometimes I think they feel pity of me, another days I think they dislike me and another times I just think they simply don't care and I spend the day thinking on that. I relate badly to a lot of people, it isn't as I created a argue, because I try to please people every time (what kills me even more) but I end up getting them away and I can't understand it how.. I'm not natural, I can't be spontaneous. It's hard to understand what means different actions. And I'm lost. I've been in therapy for 3 years and I recognize some things changed when it comes to the way I see things, but I haven't be able to make friends, and honestly, with 20years, what's going to happen next? Die seems likely the next step.. I usually listen to music and forget about the problems but these last days, I've realized more my real life.. In a call for hope, I ask you all, what's the problem with me? Because it seems world is screaming I'm a monster and I don't see why.

Any advice, opinion, help as a website... I don't know, anything, please say..

thanks in advance

[finding my way]

Welcome to our community, miibay

We do learn about ourselves while relating to others, but also while relating to ourselves. Is it possible for you to do something kind for you today, and see how that feels? Depression can take over a person's thoughts and lead them to think they have fewer choices than we actually have. Many here can relate with these struggles, and I hope you can get some relief talking about things here.

[AmericanPsycho]

I'm 29 years old and still have ZERO friends. I have accepted the fact that I will never have friends and have put it behind me.

[Rose]

Hi I saw this and thought i could help out a bit from my some personal experiences and advices i got when depressed and all, well try to be friends with at least one person and then the doors of this friends thing will get opened and you'll get more friends, I'm not really social too it's like I'm somewhat isolated and have no connection of the outer world other than school anyways i also myself don't have that much of friends my whole group of friends is just 7-10 and only 1 best friend whom i talk to openly but I somewhat manage even when I can't go out with my friends and all and just sit home i spend some time with my family and whenever you have these sad thoughts about wanting death just remember that there's always hope and life can't be sad forever thou, and also practicing your hobbies makes you happy and sometimes I also live in this fantasy world whenever I'm in my room alone so i try to do something else, if you have so many imaginary thoughts try to write or draw i do writing what I imagine and draw them, my teacher used to say that I'll be a writer whenever she reads my compositions so maybe you're like me you have a talent and want to bring it out so why not try to it solves all of this. These fantasy thoughts comes when you have something you hate about your life so maybe trying to figure out what you hate and solving it would actually help hope I helped!

[Luna-]

Any advice, opinion, help as a website... I don't know, anything, please say.

As a website we can offer a listening ear and people to keep you company, a place to talk about life and your struggles. We aren't professionals so it is hard to give advice, but we are pretty good listeners.

[Daegan]

Well, my fellow, stop trying to please people. If you need to please them then they won't make a good friend anyways, also try to find people who have traits in common with yourself, all my friends (the 8 of'em) all share quite a few traits with me