malign Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 Have you ever seen your friends cry?Would you feel hassled if they did cry, to you?You're not allowed to set arbitrarily high standards that only apply to you. :-P{And there are times when this feels like "good cop bad cop", but it's just that 'finding' and I say "I love you" different ways ...} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 I didn't cry yesterday. I just sat and thought about my pills.I have not seen my friends cry, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 Maybe I can just go to bed now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 I am trying not to take any sleeping tablets, but maybe tonight I can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 I understand the push pull of needing others but not wanting to be a burden... thing is, we all need people in our lives we can be real with. Maybe allowing someone to be near you now will help the other person do the same when they need someone and do not want to be a burden... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 In moderation, we hope? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 I just took a half of one. Sleeping pills can't kill you, the benzodiazepines are actually quite safe in overdosage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 Finding, I got into bed now. I know I should reach out to someone now, but I feel like it is overly dramatic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 We are here, Lunabelle!Maybe we can journey with you in a dream and talk about shoes and sandwiches and peace... missed your post:not overly dramatic, dear one. depression talks like that.you are the dearest sweetest one when others are in trouble, so I know not all of you believes that a person in need is being overly dramatic LaLa 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 Thank you so much again. I am going to try and lie down now and close my eyes. I feel really tired out. Emotion is exhausting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 ((((( Luna ))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 Thank you for allowing me to reach out here and being there to talk with, finding and malign. I am going to just close my eyes for a bit and maybe drift off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 I'll check back!wishing you peace and rest, Luna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 I'm sorry you're hurting so much, Luna. Sorry I have not been here sooner. I haven't been home. I want to send my care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 Thank you, friends. My therapist phoned me back at about 18.30. We just spoke briefly, I told him I was ok. He said I should phone him today, I will tell him what happened.I slept about 10 hours. I feel rested but emotionally hung over. I have nowhere i have to be today (perhaps part of the problem, in the long run) so will just take it easy and not expect anything from myself today. That keeps the Critic at bay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 We are here, Luna! So glad you heard from your therapist.Most of us can relate to being stuck in a corner of ourselves with negative thinking. :( Sending you spaciousness and breathing with you today LaLa 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 I love that quote. I need to remember that too.I hope your talk with your therapist today is helpful. Thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 I'm sorry things are so sucky Luna. I know everything feels impossible and hopeless right now. It sucks that we have to go through the pain but sometimes there are good things too that might make you feel good and maybe the point I staying alive is for those times ? I'm not really sure but I hope you feel better soon, I will pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 Hey smallstar, thanks, so nice to hear from you. How are you?I phoned my therapist this morning and left a message. He phoned me back at 11, but my phone was in the bedroom and I was in the lounge listening to an audiotape, so I didn't hear it, just saw the missed call afterwards. :( I phoned back, but have still not heard from him again. It is 17.39 now. I have been waiting all day to speak to him. I really hope he tries again. Really hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 I hate it when that happens!!! sometimes my phone never rings and so I miss the call How are you today, Luna? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 He hasn't phoned. I will try again tomorrow.I have been ok, kept my spirits up most of the day but by about 3pm, I ran out of spirit. No malign, not that kind of spirit.My internet was down most of the day. Eventually I phoned the ISP and they reset the connection. Wish I had done that earlier, I struggle a bit when my internet is down. I guess it is my contact with the outside world. That is really sad.So now I feel all depressed again. I will give up hoping and go to sleep soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 "No malign, not that kind of spirit."Meh, you've been talking to my Scots ancestors.You do have a way with words. Instead of giving up hoping, you could just transfer your hopes to tomorrow ...We're your contact with the inside world. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 Sending some energy and spirit your way...I'm sorry you missed your therapist today, Luna. I hope tomorrow is a bit brighter for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted June 25, 2013 Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 Hope your connections stay working!!!!!!!!!!Luna, we are thinking of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted June 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2013 Thank you, you are all so dear...I should really know better than to give up on my therapist; when he says he is going to phone, he does. (he forgot once, but that happens). He phoned at 20.00. I was almost asleep but was so glad to hear from him. We talked. He thinks this depression might be a delayed reaction to the stress of my exam. For heaven's sake. Can I not even have normal things happen without it turning into a cycle?He urged me to phone Sonja (pdoc). That will probably lead to more medication. But I will have to now, I said I would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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