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questioning being bipolar...help

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Well for a while now II've been contemplating it. contemplating the possibility that I'm bipolar. for years now I've been bullied and hated on by exes and ex best friends. I have threatened to kill myself in the past. my ex was a drug addict and my first love. he left me for pills half a year ago. and I have yet to get over it. throughout this petty drama I've decided I'm depressed. and self diagnosed myself with depression because even when everything was going right, I was still sad. I threatened to kill myself to my parents and told them I need medication 3 years ago and they did nothing. they don't believe in medication. and a few months ago, I've seen I'm not depressed. but more of everything. my friend was trying to illegally get me depression medication a while back but one day asked me, do you think it may be bipolar disorder and not depression? it changed my entire thought process. I took countless amounts of online tests. I did research. I fit all the descriptions. I'm randomly sad. randomly happy. I get angry easily. sometimes my mind becomes so endless that I can walk or talk forever. I have random swings of sexual disatisfation, if you may call it that. I change my feelings about people so easily. I dated someone that I thought I was head over heels for but then it was literally every other minute that I wanted him or didn't want him. i finally let him go over a month ago.

The thing is, I don't know how to stop this. its effecting my current relationship, and all my friend relationships (or lack of) I can't get medication. I need another outlet.

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Welcome to the forum, metalhead.

These kinds of diagnoses need to be made by a third party who can be objective and assess you. Ideally, that would be a psychiatrist. If not, then a GP. How old are you? Can your parents prevent you from seeing a doctor?

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