Ever since I was a child...

[kept4u]

I have had a need to break things, ruin relationships, hit walls, basically ruin anything good that comes my way.

Any suggestions on why someone would act this way.?

I've been through therapy and diagnosised with mood swings.

I been told my parents were the cause of some of my behaviors.

I'm an adult now and have carried these destructive ways with me.

And I'm finally noticing all these behaviors.

[Mark]

Thank you for posting. You're the first. I appreciate that very much.

This pattern of yours could be due to many different things really. More information is going to be needed before anything useful can be said. Luckily, this forum is a good place for an ongoing back and forth dialog.

Broadly, you're describing a longstanding pattern of anger, self-sabotage, mood swings and impulsivity, with a little self-injury sprinkled on top. This gives us a ballpark but we don't have the details we would need to make educated guesses. For instance, are we dealing with something like a bipolar disorder spectrum condition, or something more like a personality disorder/issue/pattern. Is this a reaction to your parents or something they did to you (as was previously suggested) or was this just a way you were born? or both? We don't know if this pattern was something you were born with, or if it emerged after some difficult event or sequence of events. You do say it has been with you since you were a child so that maybe argues for something temperamental (e.g., inborn) but more history of your childhood is needed before that will make any sense.

Please, if you will, give us some more detailed history. We need to know about anything that caused you great pain during childhood for one thing, becuase the absense of anything like that either means you forgot/repressed it or more likely that nothing bad happened and we'd be better off going with a more temperamental origin.

We need to know more about the mood swings, how regular they are, whether you've ever been treated for them before, and how that worked out.

We need to know more about this pattern of ruining things and relationships and generally sabotaging yourself and your happiness. Some examples would be helpful. Also if you could share the contents of your mind - what you are thinking during a period of time when you are breaking things, - if you feel justified or like you are getting revenge, or - you know - why you think you are acting that way. That will all help.

Why do you think all of this may be happening. Surely you've done some thinking about it lately. Your own perspective is very important as you are in the best position to know yourself.

Mark

Ever since I was a child...

I have had a need to break things, ruin relationships, hit walls, basically ruin anything good that comes my way.

Any suggestions on why someone would act this way.?

I've been through therapy and diagnosised with mood swings.

I been told my parents were the cause of some of my behaviors.

I'm an adult now and have carried these destructive ways with me.

And I'm finally noticing all these behaviors.