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POCD and Pedophilia


Esruc
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It's a difficult question, Es: given the complexity of the human psyche, it's hard to say that anything is impossible.

Still, the only thing I can offer you is my layman's opinion, so I'll try.

First, I think your definitions may be a little vague; pedophilic OCD isn't just "wondering" if the person is a pedophile or not. OCD can be very powerful. The person is driven to think about their chosen obsession to the exclusion of ordinary thoughts and activities. The driving force is generally experienced as a deep anxiety, because the subject they obsess about is something they (not just others) see as very bad. They frequently will say that they would do anything to avoid being whatever they obsess about; that's why they spend so much time trying to determine if they are.

Contrast that with the belief of a true pedophile, that they're doing nothing wrong, that they genuinely love the child and the child loves them. If a pedophile did not believe that, he'd be closer to a rapist. After all, just because one fantasizes about someone doesn't mean that they're a danger to that person. I fantasize about women, but that doesn't make me a danger to women. The difficulty, with pedophiles who offend, is that they disagree with most of us about whether a child can consent. I personally doubt that they suffer great pangs of guilt, because they don't see what they feel about children as being wrong.

I don't find it difficult to pick which of those better describes the experiences that you have related to us in the past.

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You make it sound like the main difference is whether the person feels bad, but if they have the attraction.

I don't find it difficult to pick which of those better describes the experiences that you have related to us in the past.

Which would that be?

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I'm not a diagnostician, but I know how bad you feel. I don't think you're a pedophile.

Like I said, I have an attraction to women. That doesn't mean that any woman needs to fear me, because attraction isn't the only thing. I'm not helpless in its grip; I decide what to do with what I feel.

I think you do, too.

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I went through a similar problem with my OCD. I found another mental website that had a special forum for pedophiles looking for help. The differnce is they don't wonder about whether they are pedophiles or not. They keep in the closet (so to speak) or be in total denial, but they don't wonder about it or obsess over it.

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It's difficult, Es, because of the fuzziness of the definition of "pedophile". Current news articles often use it differently from the medical definition.

As I understand it (and I'm not an expert), a pedophile is someone who is genuinely sexually attracted to children. However, the media usually use the word to refer to a sex offender, someone who already has or who certainly will commit a sexual offense with a child. To many people, those seem like the same thing; they believe that a person who is attracted to children cannot prevent themselves from hurting children. I don't believe that, for reasons given above. It may be true that a sex offender has a very high probability of offending again, but that's not relevant to someone who never has.

Using my definition, the genuineness of the attraction that a true pedophile feels for children would seem (in my own opinion, at least) to make it a lot less likely for them to feel bad about that attraction. It would seem ... proper, normal ... to them. And that would contribute to their likelihood to offend; it would be difficult to prove to them that there could be bad effects of something that feels right to them.

And that's why I don't think you're a pedophile. By the definition I've been using.

What's the reason for not being evaluated for OCD, again? If you are in fact both, the only thing that removing the obsessive part of the problem will do is to allow you to think rationally about the rest of it. It's not a moral-ectomy.

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