high

[nathan]

I remember one summer where I was free do go and do whatever I wanted. I had thousands of dollars to spend and free time. I took my gf at the time around everywhere. I drove thousands of miles. I had a good time wherever I went, I drank and smoked everywhere I went, and went to the cities and the beaches, clubs, hotels and stayed at my friends cottages. I was really free. And I sensed it, I still remember the feeling. I was living the dream. I would see people pass by, stuck in their daily lives and routine, and I thought it was funny that they would do that to themselves, with the world to escape in, right infront of them. I was somehow breaking out of the worlds rules, settling for nothing, living from place to place, enjoying the summer as best it could be enjoyed. No one could stop me or tell me what to do, and I felt like it was all going somewhere, leading to something even greater than what was already happening. And I thought I'd never again live by the worlds rules, that that part of my life was over. Then, as my gf broke up with me, and I ran out of money, I was hired, which is when my view of the world was once again lowered.

[malign]

You were free, but the lifestyle wasn't.

It seemed as if you had escaped from "the world's rules", but probably more because you were mistaken about what the "rules" really are. After all, money was still finite, and girlfriends are still separate people ...

Maybe the thing to focus on is figuring out what rules you think really should be in place? Because the obvious next step is to live as if those really were the rules ...

[smallstar]

I want to escape into the world too. It's so big a good hiding place