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Should I go see someone?


queenofmondays
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I often feel like I need to go see a psychologist, since I have never been diagnosed and I'm scared that I will go in and I will actually have nothing to diagnose.

Also, I don't want to worry my parents. I know I'm an adult now, in college, and I should feel comfortable telling them how I feel now. However, I love them so much and it would break them if they found out how I've been feeling about myself for a long time. I don't want them to know all of the reasons why I feel so sad and helpless.

Also, on the topic of my "mood", I find myself not always feeling sad or empty, or anxious or worried. Sometimes I feel okay, like I can take on things and I can do them. It happens every time I start thinking about getting help after being in a low place for a while. Right after I think about getting help, I start to feel better. Then something happens to make me feel down again and I don't want to go anywhere for the reasons I stated above,

I don't know. I just feel like I don't belong to a diagnosis and that I've been lying to myself about how I've been feeling and what really should constitute as serious enough to be going somewhere or to someone for help.

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Maybe diagnosis is not the most important deciding factor? If your struggles are interfering with your ability to live life freely in the way that you would like to, I would think that seeking professional help may be a good idea. The decision about whether to go or not is yours to make, though. If you do decide to go, maybe you could wait to tell your parents? Perhaps when you feel more comfortable with doing so?

We support you, whatever you decide. Take care, Queen.

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Even if there's nothing to "diagnose", that doesn't mean they wouldn't have anything to offer you in the way of help. The dividing line (the enormous gray area, I should say) between "normal" and "ill", as well as the overlap between the different kinds of "ill" (diagnoses) mean that precision is not the purpose or even a possibility. But it gives you, and them, a place to start for offering help.

It's a curious exercise to try to talk out what you're afraid of. It sounds like you might be more afraid of not being ill. What would that mean to you, to be suffering but not ill? After all, it would seem that the worst that would happen in that case is that they would tell you that they don't know how to help you, and you'd be exactly where you are now. But you're expressly afraid of that, which suggests to me that there's some sort of extra self-talk going on that's not coming to consciousness ("I don't want to be a burden", for instance, which by the way is a common feeling for people when they're depressed.)

And even if you get to the point of telling your parents that you're in therapy, you're hardly obligated to tell them "all of the reasons" for how you feel. As you pointed out, you're a grown-up now, even though you're still a young one. You have a right to react (think, feel) the way you do, even if you worry that it's a way that your parents won't like.

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Queen, I believe that we cannot control what happens to us. We can only control our reactions towards those events. I also believe in the law of attraction, Which is, If you have positive thoughts, positive things will happen, if you have negative thoughts, Negative things will happen. If you change your environment to be a positive and happy place, I think you will be more likely to be more positive and happy. Environment has a large role in each of our behavior. Only you know how you feel. So, Only you know if you need professional help or not.

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