setsuna Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I've been having obsessions about the past. That is to say, I've been having obsessions over the reasons for why I've been so self-destructive, why I was so afraid of my brother, why I was socially inept, all that stuff.I could only come up with theories. Nothing is certain.This uncertainty is driving me crazy. I can't do anything. I can't do schoolwork, I can't focus on conversations, I can't do ANYTHING.I just want to kill myself while my parents are sleeping. Yet I have to honor my promise to my mother, whom I promised that I wouldn't kill myself.Any advice? Tips? myhomiaw and noumsNok 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I'm sorry you're struggling. Sounds as though you are experiencing intrusive thoughts. You might try to let the thoughts just float by in your mind when they pop up. Can you reach out to your therapist? I hope you will stay safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLa Posted January 22, 2014 Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I felt often suicidal in past. In my case, I usually didn't have any "special way" of overcoming it, I just knew I couldn't do it for moral reasons (similarly to you) and after some time, I also knew that that feeling would disappear after some time, so... I was often just waiting until it stops (usually until I got asleep or I started and activity that changes the focus of my thoughts, as a conversation with somebody etc.). It was easier for me when I listened to some sad music and cried - crying is often relieving for strong emotions. In other cases, it was very helpful for me to express my emotions and thoughts by writing (journaling, most often).There may be some activities that would help you during these moments/times; have you tried music, writing, maybe an attempt to meditation, ...? Or just lying in your bed and trying to "forget everything", just existing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setsuna Posted January 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2014 Thanks, guys, for the help. LaLa, I have a couple of songs that I could listen to when I'm down. I also can watch some shows, play music, go for a walk, hang out with friends, etc etc etc. There's a lot of things I can do, now that I think about it. LaLa 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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