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fear


rambo
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i went to a therapist and told him about my problem . I discussed this with therapist becasue i had no other option at that time as i was in too much pain . Now i fear becasue therapist and all other doctors work for the same university hospitals . They all know each other . Therapist delibrately asked about my family and i at that time was not in a situation to use my brain to not to tell him about my background details . i just gave him some information . I now fear more thatwhat if my info will get leaked ? it will affect my family's reputation includeing me . do i have to consider this fear all the time . i fear of getting it leaked because its a shameful act moreover therapist will also want to know about my family as it has lot of doctors (same profession)

i was in so much bad time before and now this . I was so happy before enjoying life to the full . why all this happened ? if i had not seen therapist i would be so happy now (no fear of getting info leaked) . i talked to him in this matter and he said he wont say but i fear always . I want to live my old life again i miss it very very much .

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Hello, John,

I see that such situation can make one worry about confidentiality, but I'm sure it's very improbable that such a leak would happen. Therapists have to keep confidentiality, even more carefully when relatives of the patient are concerned (-they might tell something about an anonymous patient when they know the person don't know the patient, but not when they know or suppose that he/she knows him/her!).

I think it would be a very good idea to see that therapist again and talk about your fear and distrust. His reaction could bring you some peace of mind, hopefully...

Take care!

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thanks for your reply . I have decided not to go to therapist as more i go the more guilty i feel for my family . Can you tell how i can feed in my mind that such king of thing will not happen . I often get worried when i read moral thoughts saying once you have said a thing its out and then i feel why i went to therapist .

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l why i went to therapist

You went to the therapist because you felt a need to share something that was bothering and worrying you - it's understandable and there's nothing to reproach, really. You didn't go with the aim of causing you a new problem, did you ;)?

You know; when you don't do anything about it, then it will probably haunt you for an unnecessarily long time. By not seeing the therapist anymore, you just feed the fear, it seems to me, by fantasies instead of facts. I think you could tell from the reaction of the therapist if he's frank and doesn't hide an ugly truth. Without experiencing it, without facing this a priori unpleasant (but presumably relieving in the end) situation, you can only imagine bad scenarios and obsess abut them (or just let it all go, but it doesn't seem from what you wrote that this will be possible soon...).

It would be also fine to ask him why he interviewed you "so much" about your family. I bet he has an innocent and good reason for it.

What could you loose by seeing him again and asking about all those things that you fear???

I want to live my old life again i miss it very very much .

Are you sure this fear is the only thing that "hinders" your good, normal life? Wouldn't there be other, similar situations again, in other contexts? Wouldn't it be more beneficial to understand your tendency to such fears and learn how to overcome obsession when it comes? That would be a work for therapy... (Possibly with somebody working far enough from the place where your relatives work...)

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but i did not get much benefit going to therapist rather i increased my problem i suppose . I dont have much problem in life other than this . All other problems are temporary but this one seems to be too long . Any time i fear he may say it to anybody . I was so joyful back in school days . life was so easy for me . strong desire hopeful for bright future . For the last 10 months it turned out to be hell . I got severe depression , all is reflecting on my body . I have tried to read so many books but no where i see any help . Earlier i was so proud of me for not doing anything wrong . How can i be sure of no harm to me and i can work freely . is there a spiritual way or some logical way , there ought to be a way ?

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Yes, I believe there there is a way, even more ways and you'll find yours. It may be spiritual, it may be logical, it may be a combination...

May I ask you how that T reacted to what you described?

You called it "a shameful act". Was this also his expression?

And; what was the reaction of your aunt to your touching (at that time)? And how is (/ "looks like") your relationship with her now?

If I understand it right, you're depressed and fearful for 10 months because your fear that:

it will affect my family's reputation including me

Look, I genuinely believe that the therapist didn't tell anybody about it and that he wanted to know those "details" about your family for reasons that don't include anything like "talking about them / to them about what you said to him". But nevertheless, let's imagine that somebody would learn about what you "did". How would it affect your or other's reputation? I can imagine that if you do a crime, hurt somebody, molest a child, broke and important rule, ... and many other things, then you might worry about "reputation". But in this case??

Then also; imagine that the T would tell somebody. it would surely happen sometimes shortly after you seeing him, so it would be already a past, now. Don't you think that if anybody's reputation was compromised, you would already somehow have noticed? And why do you think that anybody would remember such a silly thing for 10 months - it's something that bothers you, because it concerns you, but others would probably just forget it or at least stop paying any attention to it very soon (much sooner than after 10 months).

I hope there's not too much questions and you'll answer them ;).

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he told me its not bad but i feel he said this just because he wanted to make me feel better . relationship with my aunt is absolutely normal as if nothing has ever happened . If this is spread people will think what sin i have done, if i had done this with a girl of my age its acceptable as most of us do but to do with aunt thats bad and society criticizes this . Moreover people love to spread news even if they are rumors. They will consider my family bad and will affect the reputation . moreover he can tell anybody at any point of time , so do i have to fear all the time ?

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I find my anxious feelings are sometimes a result of me wanting to control things that I can't or fearing that I won't be able to cope with the results of any given situation. Your therapist is bound by rules of confidentiality so it seems very unlikely he would divulge such information. What happens if you try to free your mind of this? I understand that is very challenging. Would being in the present help? Have you ever tried meditation or any other mindfulness practices? I hope you feel better, John.

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I fear because its not a normal thing .even when i think myself i feel sad that howcome i did this .i am not of that kind . I wish how good it would be if i had not done this all , not seen therapist . I had visited therapist approx 1 month before . i feel guilty that i went to therapist and told him whole thing .I have tried meditation and many things but nothing helps because my mind accepts logical things only .

from few days I am having this kind of fear that if i became famous (if been interviewed for some reasons ) then he might tell look he was my patient and may tell some details ?

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