I have suicidal thoughts because of a small penis

[Guest Klingsor]

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[Resolute]

I guess my question is how can you stand to be around guys who are better endowed than you are, and their wives knowing it and it being all out in the open like you describe? I would find the whole situation horrifying. I would be on a razor's edge ready to lunge the first time I even thought one of the guys who had a big package was smirking at me. If I had a wife and she knew how I stacked up with other guys, and I came out on the bottom, I would have to divorce her. There would be no point continuing the relationship. Rage and frustration would be my overriding emotions at all times. That's why I have to just stay away.

people should never see each other naked,period;in locker rooms,showers,swimming pools,or anywhere else.the negatives that result from it are innumerable.

I just don't like Kinsey.....(sorry Jessie )

i don't blame you at all,john.i don't like the guy either.why? well,any guy who:

has his wife participate in sexual experiments with multiple partners-as you mentioned in a previous post-is way lower than scum.and:

Strange stuff, Retro. I confess I don't know a lot about Kinsey other than he was one of the main protagonists of the sexual revolution and directly responsible for bringing a lot of this into the open out of taboo.

need i say more?

[Guest Klingsor]

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[gone]

people should never see each other naked,period;in locker rooms,showers,swimming pools,or anywhere else.the negatives that result from it are innumerable.

resolute, this all male nudity is just the way it is here in middle America. (Southern Indiana) I've NEVER, in my life seen a male locker room or showers that had curtains or dividers. Grade school, high school, my gym or pool the changing rooms and showers are all wide open affairs. And males of all ages use them. If it's normal, if no one cares or acts like it's a big deal kids don't care either.

These guys are my friends. They don't smirk, they don't make fun. They simply don't care.

(With rare exception.) I almost beat the sh*t out of one a$$hole many years ago for blowing crap to one of my friends. (yes he was physically big and well hung, he slept with my friends fiancé before they met. I put my fist through a wall and into a cabinet behind it......it's a long story.)

[Jessie]

This saddens me, Jessie. I've always been an Anglophile and interested in all things British. I've always wanted to visit London. I've never even been out of the states.

I find this very disenchanting.

"those british girls love a big cock"…. Andy Warhol.

London (and the UK) are wonderful … great history … lots to do…. but guys like me are not really welcome… not to girls anyway…

[Victimorthecrime]

No one can tell tell how big a man is by his flaccid state so joking is off the mark anyway

[Resolute]

resolute, this all male nudity is just the way it is here in middle America. (Southern Indiana) I've NEVER, in my life seen a male locker room or showers that had curtains or dividers. Grade school, high school, my gym or pool the changing rooms and showers are all wide open affairs. And males of all ages use them. If it's normal, if no one cares or acts like it's a big deal kids don't care either.

firstly john,even if no one cares,that still doesn't make it right or good,and definately not "normal".

secondly,you think no one cares,but many on this site,and other people, will tell you differently.

thirdly,what do kids know?

(With rare exception.) I almost beat the sh*t out of one a$$hole many years ago for blowing crap to one of my friends. (yes he was physically big and well hung, he slept with my friends fiancé before they met. I put my fist through a wall and into a cabinet behind it......it's a long story.)

wow john,i'll certainly remember not to pi$$ you off.specially if i'd ever slept with one of your friends' fiances.

[Resolute]

This saddens me, Jessie. I've always been an Anglophile and interested in all things British. I've always wanted to visit London. I've never even been out of the states.

I find this very disenchanting.

"those british girls love a big cock"…. Andy Warhol.

London (and the UK) are wonderful … great history … lots to do…. but guys like me are not really welcome… not to girls anyway…

good thing i like german stuff,lol;including their football/soccer .

[gone]

wow john,i'll certainly remember not to pi$$ you off.specially if i'd ever slept with one of your friends' fiances.

No resoute. Once a friend, always a friend. In a small way we here are like a band of brothers.

MUCH LATER EDIT: Man, the worst pun ever and I didn't even catch it for hours.....I'm really not a writer.

"in a small way" no pun intended.

I was much, much younger and this guy REALLY deserved it. He was really obnoxious.

[Resolute]

No resoute. Once a friend, always a friend. In a small way we here are like a band of brothers.

I was much, much younger and this guy REALLY deserved it. He was really obnoxious.

thanks john,i'm glad you consider me a friend.

[Victimorthecrime]

Hey Retro, sounds like you have really cleared the air & made progress in your relationship. I think we can all learn from this report that comes from a real relationship.

[gone]

Baby steps victim. It's still a long way up and out.

[The man without a plan]

I can TOTALLY RELATE!!! First I am caucasion male. Small stature. In my young years I stood a whopping 5'4". My Penis was less than 2" soft and a bit over 4" erect. Girth wise it is over 4". I started high school the first year that schools were integrated here. The Black kids hated ALL whites and vice Versus. White kids made fun of blacks being so ugly and stupid, black kids made fun of whites due to their "Lesser Size" etc...It was a living HELL for kids like myself. BTW We were forced to strip totally nude in front of each other, showering together etc...Maybe that painted a better picture. We had no say so about it. Long long story but at 60 years old it still has an effect on me and I can see now that it affected my self esteem and what I thought of myself and others. I have even "Bedded" more black women than white, trying to prove myself to be as good in the sack (I suppose). There is definitely a tendency to want a black woman over white in bed. No one is better or worse as far as race...just a mentality I suppose. In later years white guys I worked with would run behind my (and other small penis guys) back, snickering etc...nothing better to do but worry about my D**k size!!! Still makes me angry and I am retired and away from it all now.

  Believe me friend, you are NOT alone and it is a real problem for those who have had to be exposed in front of others un-willingly. My thoughts are with you.

[Ben Strothmann]

Hey guys.  From skimming the posts above, I get the feeling most of the guys here are heterosexual.

I'd like to offer my perspective, in hopes that it might help you to hear a gay man's thoughts on the matter of penis size.

If you think it's rough out there with women (I mean I can only imagine as I have no sexual experience with women), try and imagine what it's like between men.

Any time I hook up with a guy, when it comes time for the big reveal...  ONE of us is (almost) always going to be bigger than the other.  (Yeah, every now and then it's a draw, which is always kinda fun in like a solidarity or "twinzies!" kinda way.)

And yeah, I'll admit that in the gay community there is definitely a bias towards bigger penises.  Especially considering we generally have more (..... i mean like.....  wayyyyy more) sex partners in our lifetime, and so we see a lot more dick than your average heterosexual woman.  So we tend to have a much wider frame of reference, and so at a certain point, while an above average penis is always appreciated, every gay guy I know has a tall tale about the biggest dick they've ever seen on a guy.

I myself am not entirely happy with my penis size, and yet I am a little larger than average.  I would never use the word "hung" to describe myself.  Especially when I'm not erect as I'm fully a grower, not at all a shower.  And yet, I ALSO have a lot of negative thoughts and feelings associated with my penis size.  There's always the fear that the other guy is gonna be a "size queen" and when he discovers what I've got (or if my penis isn't in full "grower" mode and at attention) that he's going to reject me because I'm not enough of a buffet for him.

And lately I've been doing the emotional work to present myself during sex without reservation, without apology, happily presenting what I've got.  And on those occasions when I am with a partner who I know isn't judging me by my penis size, or isn't hung up on inches, there is such a feeling of relief at knowing I can just let my guard down and stop having to audition my junk.

THAT SAID...

I want to express to you those of you writing about having a 3 or 4 inch penis...  I ABSOLUTELY welcome and APPRECIATE and ENJOY you!

Do I like a big dick?  Hell yeah!  There are porn stars and models out there with gargantuan dicks and I ABSOLUTELY enjoy looking at (or on occasion hooking up with) them.

AND...... I can also FULLY appreciate a man with a 3 or 4 inch dick.  I have DATED men with penises around that size, and the sex was NO less magical and memorable and enjoyable.

I realize that's the exception and that most people don't feel that way.

Also, I wasn't ALWAYS that way.  I bought into the cultural influence that bigger is better, and so I used to let that influence what I found myself attracted to.

But when I allowed myself to think critically about it, I realized that my preference for larger penises was entirely arbitrary, almost as if it's a decision that our culture made FOR me.

The more I've learned into the issue, and the more I've allowed myself to hook up with, date, and empathize with men of smaller penis size -- the more I find a guy's dick size irrelevant.

Is it "good news" to me when I find out a guy has a big dick?  SURE!!  But it's also good news to me to find out he's rich.  It's good news to find out he's also sober (in recovery here.)  It's ESPECIALLY GREAT news to find out he's vegan.  EVEN BETTER if he's a spreadsheet nerd like me!

Alternately, if the guy doesn't have much of a dick, but he makes up for it with a great ass, or great arms, or a sexy face, it's a totally even trade-off.

Over New Year's Eve, I hooked up with a guy I hadn't met before while out of town.  This was some of the most incredible sex I've had in recent memory.  In this case, I was the top, he was the bottom.  He wore a jock strap, which isn't entirely uncommon, so despite how mind blowing the sex was -- it's funny to think that I actually DO NOT even KNOW what this guy's penis looks like.

And like....  I caught FEELINGS for this guy BIG time!  Everything about the sexual chemistry between us was like a 99% perfect match, and we have kept in touch and we really want to meet again.  If I had to guess, it seems like he has an average, or smaller than average penis, but more importantly -- it's the fact that I don't find myself CARING about his penis size, because the sex was just that good!

Another way I like to put it is this......  There are just SO many erogenous zones on a man's body.  I have no idea why, but one of my favorite things to do is nibble on a guy's neck, ears, or the back of his head.  Yes I realize how weird that sounds.  Sometimes it has zero effect on the guy.  But at least half the time, I have these guys screaming and getting goosebumps everywhere and asking me "Where did you learn how to do that?! That feels incredible! I've never even EXPERIENCED that feeling before!!!"

......I hope I'm not giving a bunch of straight guys the heebie-jeebies here with these details.  My point is -- if someone is SO hung up on penis size that they would reject me because I don't have 8 inches, then in my opinion that just tells me this guy is a LOUSY lay, and has no idea how to push my buttons and deliver pleasure.

So for you smaller guys -- I hope at least one of you will hear and appreciate this:

- You didn't choose your penis size.  You were born with it, and there is factually, literally, scientifically NOTHING you can do about it.  (No -- I don't want to hear any "yeah buts".....  DO NOT! Science isn't there yet and NO surgery or remedy is worth the potential damage to the only biologically functional penis you're EVER going to have in this lifetime.  And for the record, I HAVE hooked up with guys who HAVE attempted methods of making their penis larger.  This one porn star I hooked up with a few times -- the first few times it was great and everything on him was perfect in my opinion. Then a while later I hooked up with him and, though he didn't discuss it, he had clearly had his penis injected with silicone.

It looked awful.  It was shaped like a traffic cone.  The way it looked through his pants was just unsightly and obnoxious, and more a turnoff than anything.  His new penis FELT like shit, and it wasn't really very functional.  I didn't discuss it, but I remember feeling SO bad for this guy, like "What is going on in this guy's heart that he thought he needed this?"  I can't IMAGINE what he would have to endure if he were ever to remedy this surgery.

- Your penis size isn't something you EARNED, nor is it something you somehow "DESERVE"

- Your penis size says NOTHING about how much of a "man" you are.

- Your penis size in NO WAY limits your ability to THOROUGHLY please your sex partner.

And I want you to know that -- while you may have to sift through a lot of partners until you FIND them -- there absolutely ARE those of us who just DO! NOT! CARE! whether you have a small penis.

Honestly, if I were to break down the importance I place on penis size versus sexual chemistry, I would say a big penis is maybe worth 10% to me, and sexual chemistry, a feeling of ELECTRICITY between us, and an intense connection sexually -- that is 90% of the picture for me.

So there is NO REASON anyone here can't or won't find someone who loves and desires you not IN SPITE of -- but BECAUSE of who you are both inside and out.

By the way, if anyone cares to read it, I wrote a pretty lengthy post about this on my Facebook (dated yesterday, January 26th, 2020). My Facebook profile is Honey LaBronx (yup... I'm a drag queen.  You're welcome!)

Much love to you all, and thank you to all those who came here to seek and/or create a community that affirms us just the way we are.  :)

[Klingsor]

@Ben Strothmann

In your experience, would you say the guys who characterize themselves as masculine/str8/bi/curious/“trans only!” (the “NO HOMO, BRO” types who only post headless, shirtless torso pics of themselves) tend to be more inflexible in size preference and prefer big ones than the feminine men/more typically homosexual guys like yourself?