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Am I a pedophile? Please help

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I am 13 years old and I think I might be a pedophile. I have had anxiety issues in the past, along with OCD. I saw a therapist about this issue, and we identified it as POCD. I thought that was all it was, just until recently. I was masturbating, (to heterosexual stuff, normal 13 year old boy stuff) and right when I reached orgasm i thought of a little girl, and I think I might have liked the thought. I'm not sure if the only reason it felt like i liked the thought was because I was masturbating, or if I'm a pedophile. I am not sexually attracted to little girls, but i truly fear that I am a pedophile. If I am, I can't live this way. Please answer.

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Hi Allen. Welcome.

It's good you saw a therapist. Are you still seeing one? OCD can lead to distressful and intrusive thoughts that are often about fears, but usually aren't based on reality. If you can, try not to give these thoughts your energy.

How are things for you otherwise? Family? School? Friendships? Do you enjoy any activities or sports?

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Well I'm not sure if i am attracted to them. How do you live with it? But then again yes, you could lose these attractions. I just don't think I could accept myself if i was a pedophile. It would help me a lot if we could talk a bit more.

after doing some research on POCD, I am preety sure you'r not a paedophile,

everyone has random and intrusive thoughts from time to time, but the difference between people with OCD and people who do not have it is that, people without it can just blow them away.

but people with OCD makes it so that you react on them, with anxiety, so they come belivable.

i would suggest what someone else suggested. i dont personaly know if it helps as i dont really know much about OCD

just think to yourself, "This is the OCD ******* with me, don't dwell on it." Remember, OCD feeds off of fear.

How do you live with it?

well it is very hard, i still have problems with not going online and look at inappropriate images... it's still very hard to even think that I like it.

but I cant control what im attracted to, and there are alot of pedophiles who live normal lives, some even have children. and if my attractions dont change, im willing to be one of those good pedophiles.

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