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Hey, just checking up on you. As good as it is that your mom knows someone who can help you, you must not make any mention of the original reason you joined this site. More than likely, this person won't be understanding, and given that he/she has personal connections with your mother, it can cause problems. I imagine this was your plan, anyway, but just focus on feeling disconnected and stuff like that.

You mentioned earlier that you have the same daily routine. Namely, wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, get on the computer for a bunch of hours, and go to bed. I can tell you that this has mostly been my schedule for several years now, and it gets more and more depressing as time goes on. I wish I could give advice about how to change it, but I'm really just as clueless about it as you are. What do normal people do after getting home from work or school?

We feel this way once we realize we are not as "in control" as the illusions our brains create for us would have us think; once we realize there is no such thing as "self" or "free will"; once we recognize that our minds, mere constructs within our brains, use our genetic programming, memories and cerrent environmental conditions and stimuli to make decisions, which we then act out as directed. Given the appropriate perspective, we are able to see that we are each acting out our brain's decisions, while the illusion of "self" and "free will" tries to convince us that we're making choices and acting on them. We are actors, our minds the directors, and we merely do what we told. Being able to see that, accept it, and marvel in it is in my opinion a gift. Welcome to reality, which isn't as "real" as we think it is.

I don't know who said this, but this sounds a lot like determinism. Determinism is the theory that free will is an illusion, and that every action we as humans take is the only action we can take. We are nothing but computers, and based on all information we have received in the past, we will react to a given situation in a specific way — the only way we can act. That is to say, when I saw your post and decided to reply, I had no control over that decision to do so. It was quite literally the only choice I could have made.

It's an interesting theory, and I may be wrong, but my understanding is that science does not fully support it. I don't understand it all too well, but I believe that quantum mechanics poses some major issues for it.

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