"What should be done about us?" A heartfelt question.

[Victimorthecrime]

resolute - sometimes the darkest hour is just before dawn, hang in there.

Small - good stuff as always. What I see shifting the power balance to men is the coming downturn in the economy where these "pay the princess for looking pretty" jobs disappear and men are again needed to provide security and shelter.

[Guest Klingsor]

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[mts]

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[Victimorthecrime]

You have such an excellent way of putting things.

I've been "celebate" almost ten years. It's good to focus on other things, which I do enjoy. I don't watch porn as much anymore, just the odd binge here and there.

Agree completely I am so far this holiday staying the porn it just so negative.

[Guest Klingsor]

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[Resolute]

resolute - sometimes the darkest hour is just before dawn, hang in there.

thanks man, but actually this isn't my darkest hour; pressures on me are immense, but i'm not preoccupied with my current situation and circumstances. the problem is that my ambitions are just too extravagant, and unfortunately for me, i've turned into an all or nothing person; and since i clearly can't have the all, i must accept the nothing, and that makes "life" unbearable.

[Resolute]

@resolute hang in there mate

thank you.

[Resolute]

Now I'm not saying never ejaculate, but it should really be no more then once a month. Easier said then done, and even I can't keep to this rule all the time. It takes a lot or discipline but if you stick to it, and forget about the times you relapse, you will get to the point where what a woman thinks of you, or how a woman perceives you, these type of things don't bother you. You start to feel less hateful, resentful, less anxious and less fazed by things that would bother you before when you would ejaculate every day. But it takes time, and in the early stages you may feel worse and the depression may feel worse, But that is the withdrawals, and you have to stick with it.

i really must disagree here, skynight.

as most of you already know, i'm not the kind of guy who's willing to ever give any power to anyone over me, specially a woman; nonetheless, it's still my belief that almost no normal straight man can not care at all what all, or most women think of him; it's just a matter of how much one cares. i for instance wanna be adonis, and as you already know, if i was anything like adonis, i wouldn't even have time to eat or sleep, let alone be on this site.

[Resolute]

If you're in a relationship with a woman then yes, you're are going to care to a certain extent what she thinks of you because otherwise if you didn't, then you more then likely don't give a damn about her and so the whole relationship is a farce. But what I'm saying is the idea if you see an attractive woman down the street and she gives you an angry face, if a woman rejects you, you get to the point where you don't care. I can only speak from my own experience when I went a decent length of time away from porn and abstaining from ejaculation, in that I changed in how I viewed sex and woman. They don't faze you so much. If a woman doesn't fine me attractive, rejects me, I'm completely cool with it. That's her choice, it doesn't mean she's a bad person nor does it mean there's anything wrong with me. I could still talk to her and be fine about it. I don't care because I'm not going to sit there and reminisce about something that cannot be changed.

Society makes it seem like that if a woman rejects you as a man, then you have a problem. This most often isn't true. A woman doesn't find you attractive or sexy, it is just that. There is more often then not no problem, the problem is thinking there's a problem and that affects you with other women who you could have a chance with.

for many people (including myself) it has nothing to do with porn or masturbating, or even ejaculating. i've gone months without any sex or masturbation, and it didn't have any effect on the matter. not that i thought it would.

i'm not just talking about a woman with whom one is in a relationship. i can only speak for myself, but i suspect it applies to many guys, to different extents; being desirable is a need, not a want. i understand that it might be shallow in some ways, but then again, i'm not a wall, or an angel.

[Resolute]

Well I can say it had a big affect on me. But then again porn was the problem making me the way I was. Being seen as desirable and being pussy spelled are not the same thing. And just my opinion, but you're more likely to attract when you don't look to attract. Of course within reason, if you look like Quasimodo then it will be a problem, but you get the idea.

i don't look much better than quasimodo.

[Victimorthecrime]

i don't look much better than quasimodo.

Hey Quasi had swag.

[Guest Klingsor]

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[mts]

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[Resolute]

What's getting you so down lately mate?

yes:

yes, something happened; after 18-22 months working on something that would've given me a chance in this life, i didn't get anywhere, much work and money, all down the drain. that was my final attempt, now i'm done; i give up.

I tend to resemble one of the gargoyles, haha. Goddamn it what is wrong with this text editor lately!?

lol, ya, that darn text editor.

[Resolute]

resolute, I don't know your circumstances or how much money you invested but if it is possible, don't give up. Follow your dream life, never give up.

thanks, skynight.

like i said in a previous post, my dreams are too fantastical, the first three decades of my life were crap, and this fourth one, i can foresee will not be any better (should i live through it). and i'm not really interested in "achieving my dreams" when i'm 73 years old.

so, in short, i'm screwed.

p.s., i hope no one minds my moping and complaining.

[mts]

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[Resolute]

The porn stare froze on my face, because in combination with porn addiction I also had no social interaction for years whatsoever thus never used the muscles above my eyes.

I think it's a different thing, not sure.

that made me laugh.

[mts]

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[mts]

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[modestman]

When I was young, I read a psychiatry book with bunch of old case studies about young men who stopped masturbating (usually for religious reasons), and went crazy.

I mean, psychotic, hallucinating, mental hospital inmate level of crazy.

So I diligently masturbated to preserve my mental health!

Through most of my life, I've done it about 10-15 times per week.

I don't think I have suffered any ill effects.

However, I'm intrigued by what y'all are saying about this.

So, I'm going to try some limited self-restraint to see if it changes anything. Maybe drop to once every 3 or 4 days -- less often if I can do it.

That being said, if I start feeling crazy, I will quickly return to my personal norm.

[Guest Klingsor]

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[u.r.what.u.is]

I'm going to try some limited self-restraint to see if it changes anything. Maybe drop to once every 3 or 4 days -- less often if I can do it.

I tried to stop masturbating when I was in my mid 20s for religious reasons, but I never could. The religion faded away but not the jerking. By the time I reached my 40s, it took longer and longer to climax, especially without porn. I would waste a half hour on the toilet with my legs falling asleep and still did not always cum. And I rarely masturbated more than once a day. Real sex...it was too gentle on my pud, so forget cumming. I basically needed my partner to wack me off while I fantasized about some other partner and situation. Not fun.

Then I met my gf. We fell head over heels for each other...and she's as horny as I. I knew I needed to get my vitality back, and, hoping it wasn't too late, I've been able to get masturbation frequency down to once a month. After about eight months, I am able to cum again with vaginal intercourse. I'm also fantasizing less and less during sex and able to actually enjoy the reality of the sex I'm having. Porn has only messed my mind up...including my SPS or dysmorphia.

[gone]

thanks, skynight.

like i said in a previous post, my dreams are too fantastical, the first three decades of my life were crap, and this fourth one, i can foresee will not be any better (should i live through it). and i'm not really interested in "achieving my dreams" when i'm 73 years old.

so, in short, i'm screwed.

p.s., i hope no one minds my moping and complaining.

No one minds. I hope you make it through, friend. If you ever need to talk, I (and a lot of others here) are ready to listen.

[Resolute]

No one minds. I hope you make it through, friend. If you ever need to talk, I (and a lot of others here) are ready to listen.

thanks john, that means a lot.

btw, what did you do about the ultrasound?

and i hope things are going well between you and your wife.

[gone]

My wife and I are doing fine. All the kids are well. Her grandpa in China has passed away. He was extremely old, it wasn't unexpected. Her mom really didn't need another death in the family this year, but again, it wasn't unexpected.

I don't think I'm doing the ultrasound. Yeah, I know. I'm a wuss. I'm just not comfortable with the whole thing. This is really the one area my wife and I spat about. I count my blessings, cause that's not much.

If you need to talk, clear your head or just bitch to someone a while please just cut loose. I know how valuable it can be to just type and think.