Are these symptoms of a real disorder?

[sweeper444]

Hey everyone, I'm 16 years old and nearing the end of my grade 11 year of highschool (grades 10, 11, 12 - then university). In Canada you have the option of attending a public school (almost free education) or private school (paid education). I am very fortunate to have been given the opportunity to attend private school, and because of this excelling in my academics is one of my main priorities. I have always had issues with focusing in class and procrastination. So I saw a doctor in the beginning of my grade 11 year to see if I maybe had ADHD. I was prescribed a medication to help me focus, but I was not officially diagnosed with ADHD. This medication helped a lot with my focus and procrastination, but I still felt that I needed more help to reach my true potential in school. This led me to seeing a phycologist who could diagnose me with ADHD and if so, give me benefits throughout my entire schooling career (extra time on tests, tests can be written in a room by myself, etc). Long story short, the phycologist had me do 15 or so games/puzzles (each with 10 or more questions), and then came to the conclusion that I did not have ADHD but she could recommend that my teachers give me some extra time on tests as I have a below average rate of absorbing materiel. I am now stumped as I truly feel I have some abnormal traits that give me a disadvantage to my classmates in terms of excelling in academics. I'm now just going to list things about myself that I see as abnormal. Thanks for reading my long and boring problem, and if you recognize any of these traits linking to some kind of disorder or any feedback in general will be really appreciated.

- Since about the age of 10 I have had some really bad habits for example when I would touch a chair with my right hand I would then have to touch the chair in the same spot with my left hand (this would be with everything i would touch) and if I didn't I would feel really anxious and guilty. Another current and embarrassing example of a bad habit is feeling the need to smell my hands and arms, however, I am quite a self aware person so I am able to control this when in a public setting, that urge is always there though.

- when I am in class and writing a test or just doing any kind of reading I have to read the questions over and over before I understand what its even saying, when I do finally figure out what the question is asking I have no problem answering it. I know sometimes questions can be worded tricky but its with almost every question and I will often read the question and have no recollection of what I just read.

- I talk to myself in my head a lot! But thats not what I find weird its that I will be talking to myself about something relevant to something in my life and then I will end up thinking about something completely random. But if I think back I have some way of linking together thought A and thought D (they will still be pretty random links though).

- A few months ago I began having problems with my speech even though I consider myself quite well spoken. For example, I would intend on saying a word but I would say something similar to the word but not a real word, I would also sometimes rearrange words in my sentence, and afterwards be fully aware of what i said but not sure how I pulled off saying it. However, this is happening rarely now.

- I dont understand when people say they drift off to their own world, but I can be in class and go from being involved in the lecture to completely oblivious to everything around me because I'm thinking of something else.

- I am a pretty sociable person and was almost always able to come up with a joke if someone would make a joke about me or something of that nature. However, throughout my grade 11 year I am finding it harder to just think of anything to say or even how to quite act in the situation. My mom feels that this is just because I am maturing, but I just feel I am becoming some what socially awkward.

- I'm not trying to sound full of myself but I feel that my ability to think logically (common sense) is above average. I am also really self aware of myself and others around me.

Thanks again to all those who read this, and any feedback is appreciated.

[malign]

Since "phycology" is the study of seaweed, I'm going to guess it was a typo for "psychologist"?

If so, honestly, we're not going to be able to offer you a better diagnosis, though it might be worth getting a second opinion.

You seem very worried about achieving your "true potential". Isn't your true potential pretty much yours to achieve, or not?

Some background from my own life: I was an A student in high school, a National Merit finalist (a U.S. award that puts one in the 99th percentile for "potential"), and terminally shy. As a result, I nearly failed English in my senior year. Hopefully, it's clear that wasn't because of ability; I just couldn't deal with the idea of college, the social change of leaving home and living with a bunch of other guys in a dorm room, with no door to shut on a space I could call my own. I did pass, but I lost the slot at an Ivy League school and went instead to a local college where I could live at home.

Now, I don't recommend this to others of course, but it gives me a fair amount of experience to answer the question "Did I live up to my true potential?" with a resounding "Yes!" I was then, and I am now, pretty much the best me I'm capable of being, and if that isn't okay, there's something wrong with the standard.

You're you, and you will be for the rest of your life. Enjoy it.