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What the hell is this?


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My word for this kind of thing is dissociation. In a dissociated state, a person is not connected to what they are doing or who they are. It can be the result of trauma or other problems that are causing quite a bit of pain.

Are you ok, Rouler?

I dissociate all the time in different ways, but I cannot see why to self-harm was so fun/funny/hilarious. Actually, I didn't feel particulary dissociated when that happened. I was like....ecstatic.

I would have laugh doing it, it was like a happy idea.

Now it is a happy idea again...but I don't feel agitated. I am quiet. It is hilarious.

Oh...I know...yes...I am soooo happy...this is Nev!

I thought It was something wrong, but not! I was Nev once.

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It happened to me to I would often times laugh while cutting. Then afterwards stare in awe at how deep I went and be happy about it all. I think it is like when someone gets a tattoo and it tickles instead of hurts so the person laughs...

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