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new poster with SPS and ways i deal with it


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I've been lurking here for a while and have read many of your heart breaking stories

So about me, I was a late bloomer/developer so all through highschool i maintained a small size, though by 19 i think i reached my max growth

now here's the thing, I dont let my SPS get in my way of girls "too much". After all i have to realize it is more of a mental disorder than an actual physical disorder, i keep reminding myself "im not THAT tiny"

of course, hooking up with random girls is easier for me. I wont see them again, and half the time theyre drunk so they wont even care about size too much

Where I do have the problem, is in relationships. first time the pants come off in bed I always have a heart attack (especially since flaccid it is PATHETIC)

I would like to share my coping mechanisms however, in case you might find these helpful:

1) STOP WATCHING PORN. this is THE number one killer of confidence and it distorts what "normal" is sooo much. not only that, but since I used to watch porn very often, it is hard to get a 100% hard erection without it, being with a girl or just fantasizing its hard to get past 90% hardness, which brings me to topic number two:

2) measure only when youre as hard as a diamond. i can tell you there is a HUGE difference in size between a 90% erection and 100% erection. also remember that flaccid length does NOT matter at all. do I look like a baby when i just get out of the shower? You bet. but it has no bearing on sex. which also brings me to point 3:

3) GIRTH is more important. length i'm sure would be nice (I wouldnt know), but girth is something not something that many guys measure or are "proud of" like their length (i know one guy is proud of his long dick but the girls say its skinny and does nothing for them)

4) if you are overweight, lose some weight. fat really hides some of your penis length (ive always been skinny so this isnt an issue for me

5) dont be afraid to make the move and HAVE SEX. humans are creatures of adaptivity. tip one, with a shorter dick, you will naturally be closer to your partner, use that to be more passionate with kissing, biting (even one night standers love passion). tip two, if your girth is lacking, rotate your hips to press different parts of the vaginal wall. girls love it. tip 3 USE YOUR HANDS AND MOUTH. many girls cant orgasm from vaginal sex anyways, and rely on the clitoris. use this to your advantage. out of neccessity i am now known by a few girls as "the fastest fingers in the west". you can and will learn to use what God gave you

6) realize if a girl dumps you for your size, be GRATEFUL. relationships cannot rely on that much shallowness, and i doubt she'd ever find true loving connection with anybody with that attitude

7) be open with your friends. if your anxiety is affecting your social life, then it will be a lot easier on you if your friends already "kind of know". i know im the smallest out of my friends, one of my exes is in my friend group, she obviously knows. now i'm not saying blurt out at a party that you have a small penis, but casually mentioning in jokes, or if you and the guys are having sex convo's, it's easy to work in

8) CONSIDER safe methods of physical therapy/change. weigh the risks and benefits. it is debated greatly from both sides the effectiveness of products, but "penile stretchers" are promising, hydro penis pumps (NOT AIR PUMPS) are promising, and surgery is possible. Just as girls get breast enhancements, why should guys shy away from our options? of course remember there are RISKS that must be considered if it is worth it to you or not

9) REALIZE your life could be worse. I am GRATEFUL the only physical downside to me is my penile size. I see on facebook, news, kids with cancer, physical deformities, people paralized, terminal illness, and that reminds me how LUCKY I am to be healthy.

Now i cant complain too much, im 24, fit, and ive had sex with 10 different girls (and a few serious relationships too). my erect length is just at 5 inches, and my erect girth is also 5 inches, if not a tiny bit over 5 inches. but you must realize SPS is different than micropenis. ANY SIZE guy can have SPS, as it is a mental disorder (and i'm sure i have BDD and OCD as well so that doesnt help)

My last advice, if you are 4 inches or over in length and girth, dont sweat it, just follow those tips, as that is more than enough to satisfy any girl that isnt a size queen. If you are under, no sweat again, follow those tips, and if you really think augmentation might boost your confidence (and mental well being) then do not be scared to just even research options (in no way am i supporting brands or pushing these devices)

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Wow, great way to start posting here. You have learned these things much faster than I did.

I want to echo your warning about porn. It does mess with your ability to enjoy real sex. If you are used to porn providing fantasy, then it becomes difficult to get as excited about sex that is connecting with a partner.

I'd also add that masturbation, even without porn, has a similar deadening effect, if you do it too much. Mouth, vagina, and anus all feel less "intense" than a hand (IMO), so it's bad when your body requires that much intensity to reach climax. After decades of jerking off, I am trying to train my body to relax and enjoy real sex more. It's working to some extent.

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I agree with the OP and u.r.what.u.is about porn, it is very damaging.

This is good too:

6) realize if a girl dumps you for your size, be GRATEFUL. relationships cannot rely on that much shallowness, and i doubt she'd ever find true loving connection with anybody with that attitude

But this:

7) be open with your friends. if your anxiety is affecting your social life, then it will be a lot easier on you if your friends already "kind of know". i know im the smallest out of my friends, one of my exes is in my friend group, she obviously knows. now i'm not saying blurt out at a party that you have a small penis, but casually mentioning in jokes, or if you and the guys are having sex convo's, it's easy to work in

Probably not for everyone, kudo's to you for 'coming out' I hope it works for you.

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Yes I realize #7 isn't for everyone. And it's not like they know my measurements, just through conversation they know I'm "smaller than average"

However honesty now saves for embarrassment later. I was texting one girl, and she asked how big I was. I asked why? And she said "well I'm going to find out sooner or later". So I was straight up and told her I was "shorter than average. Take it or leave it" and you know what she replied? "I'll take it hard" so goes to prove not all girls care about size that much.

Don't get me wrong though. Even with all my self-help, I still every day experience some level of depression and lack of self confidence, just as all of you do. I don't think it's something that we will ever 100% get over

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