Intrusive thoughts are unbearable (TRIGGER WARNING)

[flyinghome]

I have OCD, and right now I'm having extreme intrusive thoughts about little kids. Thoughts about raping or touching little kids. And I'm getting a little groinal response.

This is what is happening specifically: I automatically, without even thinking, say to myself "I wonder if I'll get aroused if so and so happens to a little kid". Then I imagine something happening to a little kid. Then I feel immense guilt and shame.

My next CBT session is on July 15. How can I make things easy until then?

Any help is appreciated.

EDIT: I posted a question like this on Experienceproject, and everyone is telling me to turn myself into the cops. This is the worst day I've had all week.

[malign]

Meh. You're having intrusive thoughts. Are you planning to act?

Only in the latter case would you be any kind of danger to anyone.

Do you have the option to contact your therapist between sessions? That might be one option. Anyone who knows about your OCD could help if the therapist is not available.

Another option would be to work your CBT exercises harder. When you start with the "I wonders", just point out to yourself that that's not productive thinking. Turn it into "I don't want <whatever> to happen to a child", and see what happens.

It also couldn't hurt to try to identify under what circumstances these thoughts come to you. And, is medication an option you have discussed with your therapist? That might take some of the edge off while you learn different ways of coping.

[diaaa]

Hi, I also have OCD and this paedophile fear is actual really common in OCD suffers but there's lots of shame and fear associated with it for those suffering which is why people rarely understand this type of OCD and think its about liking to clean or have things in a certain way. However the truth is everyone gets random icky intrusive thoughts, its not the thoughts that are the problem, its your interpretation of them and response you have to the thoughts that feed the OCD and make the intrusion more frequent. People with OCD actually tend to be more caring than the average person because of how much the thought of harming people distresses them. The fact these thoughts cause you so much anxiety and distress mean that you're very unlikely to ever act on them but OCD will always put the doubt in there. I'm sorry you received that response on another forum, people can be ignorant to mental health. What you need to do is resist carrying out compulsions whether that's avoidance, reassurance seeking, mental rituals or whatever it is buy your therapist will probably work on exposure and response prevention in your CBT sessions. You could also try to label the intrusive thoughts as 'just a thought' and let them pass rather than analysing them or arguing with them. You could also go on ocdforums.org which is an excellent forum with people experiencing the same thing. I know its a nightmare disorder and is horrific to deal with but don't give up, its very treatable.

All the best,

Dia