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Lashing out does NOT help


flyinghome
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I learnt this the hard way. To be brief, I am an intensely self loathing person. I thought I would feel better about myself if I said some HORRIBLE, nasty things to other people, and become a jerk and asshole. I talked about how their dads are deadbeats who abused them, about Alzheimer's running in their family, about how they have no friends, etc etc. (I don't know if the things I said were true.) I spent a day doing that, and, to say the VERY least, I regret all of my words.

Throughout the day I also blocked a number of people on Facebook, and facebook was my sole means of communication with those people.

Just thought I'd share my experience. Don't make the same mistakes I made.

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I've lashed out before at friends when I've been triggered by something. I never felt very good about myself either, afterwards. All of us make mistakes, though. It sounds like you recognize that your behavior was about you and you know it's not something you want to repeat. I hope you aren't being too hard on yourself.

Are you working with a therapist? I'm sorry you feel self-loathing. :( I hope you feel better.

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I've lashed out before at friends when I've been triggered by something. I never felt very good about myself either, afterwards. All of us make mistakes, though. It sounds like you recognize that your behavior was about you and you know it's not something you want to repeat. I hope you aren't being too hard on yourself.

Are you working with a therapist? I'm sorry you feel self-loathing. :( I hope you feel better.

The people who I attacked weren't exactly my friends. In fact, they were sort of my enemies; I only feel bad because I stooped so low, and got caught up in the belief that I could change people.

I am working with a therapist. But I don't see much point; it's not helping. And I often ignore the therapist's advice in order to make myself feel as bad as possible.

I have this belief that I deserve to die in such a way to minimize my own happiness, while maximizing the happiness of others. I also believe that I have to sacrifice everything that makes me happy in order to make the world a better place. Now these aren't delusions of grandeur I'm having. I firmly believe that I am capable of making a significant change to the world, so as to better the human race. I just feel like, in the process, I absolutely HAVE to damage myself.

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The people who I attacked weren't exactly my friends. In fact, they were sort of my enemies; I only feel bad because I stooped so low, and got caught up in the belief that I could change people.

I am working with a therapist. But I don't see much point; it's not helping. And I often ignore the therapist's advice in order to make myself feel as bad as possible.

I have this belief that I deserve to die in such a way to minimize my own happiness, while maximizing the happiness of others. I also believe that I have to sacrifice everything that makes me happy in order to make the world a better place. Now these aren't delusions of grandeur I'm having. I firmly believe that I am capable of making a significant change to the world, so as to better the human race. I just feel like, in the process, I absolutely HAVE to damage myself.

even if you firmly believe something,it doesn't make it true.and the belief that one "must" damage his/her self to better the world or... is pure delusion i'm afraid.

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The release of anger might be temporarily helpful, true, but it might not be beneficial in the long run to help you cope with the feelings that are likely behind the anger. Just my thoughts.

I can't imagine how the infliction of pain on oneself could make the world a brighter place; that seems like a possible cognitive distortion?

Flyinghome, do you have any thoughts about why you are feeling such anger toward yourself?

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The thing about anger, though, is it is often really about pain. It might help more in the long run to explore that and where it's coming from, how to take care of yourself and cope with your feelings. Lashing out may also be a means of trying to pushing others away, but that can be hurtful too if deep down you truly want connections. I don't know if any of that might fit for you or not, dvn. I do hope you feel better.

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Feeling better for releasing your anger isn't the same thing as having no long term effects from that.

One of the long term effects is that you'll keep doing it if it makes you feel good.

We get to choose the person we want to be, and we end up being the person we've chosen.

Sure, if you only consider how you feel, and if you only vent on people you don't think you'll care about later, any long term effects that may occur might be able to be ignored. One of the results that I've noticed, though, is that people are more likely to vent their anger at you, so that might be an effect to consider.

'flyinghome': What if, in order to do the maximum good for others, to "better the human race" as you said, you first had to make positive changes for yourself? I suggest that that's likely, if only so that you can learn what changes to make for others. By the way, I too believe you can make a significant improvement to human life, because any of us can. I just think we start with ourselves ...

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