All the advice given amounts to this

[CNL]

Stop caring about how much pleasure the woman experiences during sex. Have sex the way a zen monk eats food, completely unconcerned with the taste, only to relieve yourself of the desire, stopping not when you are full but when your body isn't asking for food anymore. I don't know if that last part is fully analagous, but whatever you get the point...

All of the advice I've ever read is essentially that. Find a woman who doesn't mind the fact that by being with you she will experience less pleasure during sex, and then stop caring that you can't pleasure her as much as other men. Choose any of the cliches that are so often trotted out to comfort us and you'll find that message between the lines.

What obstacles are here?

Finding such a woman. Believing that the woman really is such a woman. Not letting yourself be bothered by your objective inferiority as a tool for creating pleasure (I'm sure that phrasing will go over well, but I'm not erasing it because I've tried to write this post several times already).

On the surface it may not sound too difficult, when the truth is that you are being asked to completely change your philosophy about everything in life you enjoy, and about whether or not you let the opinions of other people affect how you view yourself. I say this because if you and the woman do not care about the amount of pleasure you experience then you must have a unique perspective on what sex is, and the only fitting perspective I was able to think of is the one I illustrated at the beginning of this post.

How many of you feel capable of doing this?

[Resolute]

Stop caring about how much pleasure the woman experiences during sex. Have sex the way a zen monk eats food, completely unconcerned with the taste, only to relieve yourself of the desire, stopping not when you are full but when your body isn't asking for food anymore. I don't know if that last part is fully analagous, but whatever you get the point...

All of the advice I've ever read is essentially that. Find a woman who doesn't mind the fact that by being with you she will experience less pleasure during sex, and then stop caring that you can't pleasure her as much as other men. Choose any of the cliches that are so often trotted out to comfort us and you'll find that message between the lines.

What obstacles are here?

Finding such a woman. Believing that the woman really is such a woman. Not letting yourself be bothered by your objective inferiority as a tool for creating pleasure (I'm sure that phrasing will go over well, but I'm not erasing it because I've tried to write this post several times already).

On the surface it may not sound too difficult, when the truth is that you are being asked to completely change your philosophy about everything in life you enjoy, and about whether or not you let the opinions of other people affect how you view yourself. I say this because if you and the woman do not care about the amount of pleasure you experience then you must have a unique perspective on what sex is, and the only fitting perspective I was able to think of is the one I illustrated at the beginning of this post.

How many of you feel capable of doing this?

my suggestion isn't for you to have sex the way a monk eats food,or to be with a woman who doesn't mind that you can't please her like other men,etc;but rather i'd suggest that you find a woman who's perfect for your size,and compatible with you in other departments.

claiming that such women don't exist is total bull.

of course,i'd also suggest that you first change how you feel and think about yourself,and try to get validation for yourself from within (internally),rather than from outside sources (externally) such as women,friends,parents,relatives,coworkers,neighbors,or even things like money,cars,looks,and so on;because self-acceptance is the key.

[CNL]

Why am I trying to pleasure the woman if not because I have assigned value to how much pleasure she feels during sex? In doing this I immediately become inferior to all other men who could do a better job, so if I am to enjoy sex it cannot be about pleasure. At all. It must be about satisfying a craving of the body in the present moment. The other stuff I will not address because the truth is I don't care about achieving anything or how I am perceived or whatever. I'm really a man of simple needs, and I genuinely believe I could live in a mountain away from society and not be sad about it. The only insecurity I have ever failed to conquer is this one. I don't feel bad about myself in any other area.

[CNL]

my suggestion isn't for you to have sex the way a monk eats food,or to be with a woman who doesn't mind that you can't please her like other men,etc;but rather i'd suggest that you find a woman who's perfect for your size,and compatible with you in other departments.

claiming that such women don't exist is total bull.

of course,i'd also suggest that you first change how you feel and think about yourself,and try to get validation for yourself from within (internally),rather than from outside sources (externally) such as women,friends,parents,relatives,coworkers,neighbors,or even things like money,cars,looks,and so on;because self-acceptance is the key.

Your recent post in that other thread seems to say almost exactly what I said. A relationship based on physical needs (the amount of pleasure experienced during sex) does not have value, or at least a poorly endowed man must come to believe this, which isn't entirely crazy I guess. I've found comfort in the fact that I don't consider a relationship between a man and a woman to be a thing all too special anymore.

[CNL]

You're suggesting (correct me if I'm wrong) that because most other men have a bigger penis that they can satisfy a woman better then you. But it isn't a straight forward as that though. Because women respond to different types of things and vaginas also vary in size, and that article on the other thread made the point a big penis hurts a lot of women.

Honestly, this sort of clinging to the possibility that my penis is capable of pleasuring a woman does not even concern me. Thanks for the advice, and maybe a lurker will benefit from it, but I don't even think about that anymore. I'm all about learning to not care if another man can pleasure a woman more than me.

[Resolute]

Honestly, this sort of clinging to the possibility that my penis is capable of pleasuring a woman does not even concern me. Thanks for the advice, and maybe a lurker will benefit from it, but I don't even think about that anymore. I'm all about learning to not care if another man can pleasure a woman more than me.

i'll be honest with you,no matter a guy's endowment,sexual skills,looks,etc,there will always be someone in the world who can possibly satisfy -at least some- women,better than he can.so obsessing over such a thing (for anyone) is very unreasonable.

[CNL]

i'll be honest with you,no matter a guy's endowment,sexual skills,looks,etc,there will always be someone in the world who can possibly satisfy -at least some- women,better than he can.so obsessing over such a thing (for anyone) is very unreasonable.

There's a difference between knowing that some other guy out there could give a woman sex that is 10 percent better, and knowing that most other guys could give a woman sex that is 80 percent better. Men who were born with decent sized penises suffer with the former, which would be a lot easier to deal with.

[Resolute]

There's a difference between knowing that some other guy out there could give a woman sex that is 10 percent better, and knowing that most other guys could give a woman sex that is 80 percent better. Men who were born with decent sized penises suffer with the former, which would be a lot easier to deal with.

yes,a woman,as in "some woman",or even if we said most women,still there are women out there who would get more pleasure from you than a bigger guy;so unless your worry is about pleasuring most women,i think my reasoning is sound.

[CNL]

yes,a woman,as in "some woman",or even if we said most women,still there are women out there who would get more pleasure from you than a bigger guy;so unless your worry is about pleasuring most women,i think my reasoning is sound.

Why cling to the idea that this is true? What if it wasn't? What would you say to a man for whom this was never true?

[Resolute]

Why cling to the idea that this is true? What if it wasn't? What would you say to a man for whom this was never true?

there is almost no one on the planet that that statement doesn't apply to,it's just a matter of objectivity.

just like there are people who're more attracted to the same sex than the opposite sex (not that i condone that behavior),there are also women who prefer smaller ones.that's based on both logic/reasoning/theory and observation of real life.

[gone]

Well think of it like this then. You might not be the toughest guy in the boxing ring, but learn to be the best fighter you can be. The same about sex right? Just do the best you can because that's all you can do. And if it isn't good enough then it isn't good enough. But trying to compete with other men just turns sex into this test, a competition, and then sex becomes not enjoyable and then with that mindset, you end up not doing perhaps as well as you would with a more relaxed carefree state of mind.

There's some of what Skynight posts that I really don't agree with, but this here post is gold. I've been a time now succeeding in getting my head wrapped around just what he's saying here.

I had someone tell me I tend to overthink things instead of just casually doing well, having fun and letting the results speak for themselves.

[u.r.what.u.is]

Why am I trying to pleasure the woman if not because I have assigned value to how much pleasure she feels during sex? In doing this I immediately become inferior to all other men who could do a better job, so if I am to enjoy sex it cannot be about pleasure. At all. It must be about satisfying a craving of the body in the present moment.

In other words, get a hooker?

[CNL]

In other words, get a hooker?

That will not also satisfy the desire men have for love. That is the whole issue of SPS. If men just desired to get a release there would be no concern with their opinion, and yet because we love them in addition to lusting for them we do care about their opinion, which sucks because their body decides for them that we are inferior, and then etc, and then I realize that I've forgotten what I was even saying so F it.

[Guest Klingsor]

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[CNL]

But this is not true for all women because there are men even on this forum who have a small penis and have been married for years. That's why you have a faulty belief because you've convinced yourself it's all women.

That's probably confusion resulting from my poor wording. When I said "their body decides we are inferior" I meant in the sense that a woman cannot, or rather could not were it to be true, control the fact that her partner's penis does not pleasure her to the degree that she might wish, ideally. Anyway again, I am not concerned with whether or not there is a woman out there whose vagina fits my penis perfectly.

What if there wasn't? That is not an unfair question. The only answer which is worth a shit is the answer which brings comfort to men of all sizes across the board. At least that's the only answer I am interested in. In fact I'd rather just begin with the assumption that I have no penis at all, and then find a philosophy that could make me happy from that perspective. I'm steadily leaning towards wanting to just stop caring about women. I've stopped caring about every other passion in life, and I don't mean that in a depressing way, but in the sense that I feel freed from every other desire and passion. Just this last nagging detail remains.

[Guest Klingsor]

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[CNL]

Essentially you're asking for someone on this forum to be your spiritual guru and tell you how to achieve Moksha. You should PM Skynight. You and he seem to be the only two people on this forum who relish blinding everyone else by your haloed journey into self-deliverance from the corporeal hell the rest of us are chained to.

That would be true, if the whole reason for this thread's existence wasn't the fact that I am having trouble accepting what I know is true. Tell me. Will you ever accept your small penis? I've read everything you've posted since I joined, and it doesn't sound like it. I was waiting for you to call me on spewing "new age bs," but you know what, what other option does a man with a small penis have? I would rather just abandon the desire for sex than cling to it and hate myself. Or at least I'd rather try that than wait to fling the injustice or whatever the fuck.

[Guest Klingsor]

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[Guest Klingsor]

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[Guest Klingsor]

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[Guest Klingsor]

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[CNL]

Well I'm so glad I've given you such good food for thought and belittlement. I'm fulfilling my function in life by giving you someone to feel superior to and justification for your own path of denial.

Maybe I'm your spiritual guru and you just don't know it yet.

I don't feel superior to anyone on this site, least all of you, and I apologize for the snippy part at the end.

My views are probably more in line with yours than anyone else here in the sense that I've stopped trying to deny the fact that life is inherently unfair. I've just added a nice heavy dose of indifference. I'm not religious and I don't believe in "enlightenment," and furthermore I don't believe the path I've decided to take is down bubblegum road in comparison to yours. I don't want to even think about love anymore. I want to be dead inside. Why bother with all the hatred and wanting others to understand?

[Guest Klingsor]

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[Resolute]

I'm not into the new age movement. It's very simple, you are what you get put into your mind, within reason of course. Obviously if you're poor and you put into your mind "you're rich", that wouldn't mean you'd be rich, but it does put a belief that you can make more money. Same as with small penis, you're not going to have a big penis but you can change how you feel about having a small penis.

Belief. Not ability. Two mutually exclusive things.

No, but you're more likely to find that ability, or have the ambition to try things even if they might fail. Obviously, if it was as simple as believing you can make money then everyone could be rich. We know that's not the case. But you put yourself into positions where money is more likely to go your way, even if it's small amounts.

if you're poor,you don't necessarily have to make more money to feel better, -although you should make more if you can- but rather you shouldn't feel like a loser for being poor,if it's not your fault.in other words,you need to come to terms with being poor,so whether you become rich one day or not,either way you won't feel like crap as much.

[Guest Klingsor]

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