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Need some help with life direction


jonestheonesy
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Hi there

I hope someone out there can read this and offer some words of widsom.

Here's my story:

I'm 34. Recently broke up out of a 4 year relationship. The ex is now well on her way to getting married. I occasionally feel regret about having let her go, "the one that got away" syndrome if you wish. I am currently not working because I felt I needed some time to recover from this break-up.

Here's my problem. I have no idea what I want to achieve in my life moving forward. I've noticed the following things makes most humans happy:

- Successful career

- Marriage + kids

- Making money

- Making friends

For some reason, none of these things really feel like they will make me happy in the long-term. They all seem like constructs that society has created to give life meaning, but it doesn't resonate with me. I have no idea where to focus my energy. I've been successful enough that I don't need to work in the short term just to survive, and possibly this is hurting me by giving me too many options. I'm becoming a little bit isolated from friends. I've always had a bit of a loner mentality. I'm basically trying to figure out the meaning of life and I don't know what it is. I'm not sure I'm depressed, just a bit lost/frustrated because I don't know what I should strive towards. It could very well be that one or more of the above will make me happy, but I just don't know. But If I am going to accomplish them I need to start now, adding to my frustration.

Can anyone identify with this mentality? Is there a name for it? Are there questions I can ask myself or activities I can experiment with to help find the answers?

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I think I know what you are talking about. The whole thing, the rat race, the middle class dream, just ain't doing it for you.

My advice - get out of your head, live in the moment. If you have the money, maybe travel.

Not sure what your career is but maybe tweek it a little so it is more fun.

If she is open to it, complete w your ex. It could be insightful & help you move on.

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@ jonestheonesy

i think wife (only the good kind),kids,money,friends (only the good kind),health,etc. are all good things that play a significant role in most people's lives because of the way humans are wired.they are things that one should strive to attain.

that said,i don't think those things should be one's ultimate goals in life.

i believe one must have a philosophy in life and a belief system that is based on a strong and solid foundation.

that,of course comes from much thought/reflection and research/investigation.

and from that one can determine what his/her goals should be,and what really brings true happiness.

good luck.

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