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Confidence / Self Confidence


Victimorthecrime

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  • 4 weeks later...

What do I lack? What do others possess that separates them from me? How do I obtain it? Is this a gender problem? I live in simultaneous terror and hate of people because of this. Seems to be hereditary, but this is only the mechanism.

We all put our pants on one leg at a time (I think that was a malign-ism). None of us are perfect, we all have flaws...

I'm going to lose my job because of this. I have no initiative or strength to successfully meet a challenge; outside of my comfort zone I shut down. I have no faith in myself outside of this zone. I'm on notice because of attitude and performance. If I lose my job I'm going to stop eating and read books until I die. I can't do anything else.

Sounds like a part of you is being very self-critical. Can you maybe put some gray in your statements? "I might lose my job..." "It's difficult for me to find the initiative and strength to meet a challenge...." I don't know if that may help in any way, but it allows for the possibility that things can improve.

I have a difficult time outside of my comfort zone too. I imagine a lot of us do. Can you challenge yourself in small steps? Why so hard on yourself?

Edited by IrmaJean
typos, adding
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What do I lack? What do others possess that separates them from me? How do I obtain it? Is this a gender problem? I live in simultaneous terror and hate of people because of this. Seems to be hereditary, but this is only the mechanism.

I'm going to lose my job because of this. I have no initiative or strength to successfully meet a challenge; outside of my comfort zone I shut down. I have no faith in myself outside of this zone. I'm on notice because of attitude and performance. If I lose my job I'm going to stop eating and read books until I die. I can't do anything else.

i'm sorry to hear this klingsor. i know all too well the problems that come with being broke. i hope you don't lose your job.

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I'm a perfectionist, and I judge myself as inferior. And also if you deal with failures often enough eventually they cause your personality and motivation to snowball until there's no stopping the descent.

... I just want to sleep.

i can't begin to express how much i agree with this, except i'd change "i just want to sleep" to "i just want to die".

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

you mean in the post you deleted? i missed that post. but killing myself is something that extremely excites me, and is near and dear to my heart.

thanks for prayers. i think it was just food poisoning. i'm actually getting better without the test or meds. i have enough financial burden and debt already, and since i'm improving, i'll skip the tests.

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for me, not having done it yet is simply because i don't have access to all the tools and substances that are best for the act. i mean sure there are other none-ideal ways of attempting it, but aside from good chances of failure, or even self-harm, they can also be too scary for me. i have no fear of death per se.

"logically, what do you do?" i haven't the slightest idea.

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i don't see what actual good "talking" would do. as i mentioned a couple months ago, the only one who could help is god; if he wanted to, that is. and sure i feel tiny amounts of "joy" from plenty of things that i see on t.v., read, or hear here and there. but the things that can bring me any real joy, those require a great deal of wealth and health, and i've got almost none of either.

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Sorry you guys are going through some bad times. I am not exactly dancing on air either, will share more on that later.

I have mixed feelings about talk therapy. One time I tried it and it was a big help but another time it was disastrous. I think the key is to really find the right person. There are so many quacks, anyone call themselves a therapist. I sometimes think talk therapy works better for women than men. I say that as someone that worked on behavioral health for 9 years, albeit in a non clinical capacity. I suspect that for women the connection to someone is itself therapeutic whereas for men that is not as potent a remedy.

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