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Just Venting


nytaiji

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Is there room for everyone's views, thoughts and beliefs? A different view doesn't have to deny your experience or feelings, I don't think. It's okay to disagree.

I'm on my little cellphone which irritates and frustrates me ( lots of typos) and not much time, but I can hear both sides of this.

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Good points from all here.

Sexual competition IS an issue- women compare and men compare- about technique and size.

And the vast majority of women do have ideal and maximum and minimum sizes.

84% of men are average or above and exactly 84% of men are with partners who are content with their size according to the UCLA study.

About 30% of men, worry needlessly about their size- thats what the stats show

Alas if you are in the bottom 15% its overwhelmingly likely your partner will not like or accept your size- that damages and compromises sexual relations and self image.

thats the science- we have to find away to accept these awful truths and have some sort of dignity and point to life.

Its difficult but one must persist.

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Some very well written, well thought out arguments the last few pages here. I hope you guys draw some self esteem from that because you deserve it. Don't let cynicism and sadness drown you (for any reason) because there are women that find intelligence combined w good character to be attractive.

If I could be philosophical for a moment, I believe that every moment of every day nature offers us a "deal". How we respond to that offer is the true measure of a man.

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I agree, there have been really good points made here recently. And for once, roger and I actually agree on something. I too agree with just about everything you said small. There will always be a minimum, a maximum, and an ideal. And although it varies from woman to woman, what those numbers are really is the grand debate. But I would say for those that don't believe it's a competition yet refer to the statistics of penis size......if it's not a competition, then shouldn't we be talking vagina sizes and not other penis sizes?

You also made a good point regarding validation from women. I don't have many close friends. But, of the ones I do, they have all responded in the same way when I brought this topic up. None of them asked their girlfriend's/wive's if they've had better or not. They just don't care that much. "Who cares, she's not my best either", was the overall feeling they have. For me, that's a foreign thought. I have a very strong desire (to the point of it becoming a requirement) to be my girlfriend's best sexual partner. It may be a question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, when talking about mental health on this topic though. Is one's poor self esteem leading to the need for validation from the opposite sex to the point of severe mental distress? Or, is one's knowledge that he is physically incapable of being one's best leading to poor self esteem and severe mental distress? I personally believe some men just happen to place more value on sexually pleasing their lovers. Some people value money more than others. I wouldn't say they are mentally unhealthy people because of it. Imagine telling a Donald trump type personality that places great importance on money, power, and fame that he is physically incapable of ever achieving that one thing that is most important to him. Who knows why it's so important to him. But I would be willing to bet he'd struggle through life just like a person with SPS. For some men, just being between the minimum requirement and the maximum requirement is fine. But for those of us that want to be in the ideal range, naturally we are going to be upset when we aren't. But I would agree that if it does get to a point of severe distress (suicidal thoughts) there is most likely other mental health issues contributing.

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Some very well written, well thought out arguments the last few pages here. I hope you guys draw some self esteem from that because you deserve it. Don't let cynicism and sadness drown you (for any reason) because there are women that find intelligence combined w good character to be attractive.

If I could be philosophical for a moment, I believe that every moment of every day nature offers us a "deal". How we respond to that offer is the true measure of a man.

no one/thing (including nature) has ever offered me any "deal(s)" or "breaks" in the 32 years that i've been on this shitty planet.

and as for intelligence being attractive, well sure, if you have the looks to go with it, otherwise it means nothing; just like i wouldn't look at a super smart but ugly woman, not many women would be fighting over me because of how smart i am, or how good a person i am.

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I agree, there have been really good points made here recently. And for once, roger and I actually agree on something. I too agree with just about everything you said small. There will always be a minimum, a maximum, and an ideal. And although it varies from woman to woman, what those numbers are really is the grand debate. But I would say for those that don't believe it's a competition yet refer to the statistics of penis size......if it's not a competition, then shouldn't we be talking vagina sizes and not other penis sizes?

You also made a good point regarding validation from women. I don't have many close friends. But, of the ones I do, they have all responded in the same way when I brought this topic up. None of them asked their girlfriend's/wive's if they've had better or not. They just don't care that much. "Who cares, she's not my best either", was the overall feeling they have. For me, that's a foreign thought. I have a very strong desire (to the point of it becoming a requirement) to be my girlfriend's best sexual partner. It may be a question of which came first, the chicken or the egg, when talking about mental health on this topic though. Is one's poor self esteem leading to the need for validation from the opposite sex to the point of severe mental distress? Or, is one's knowledge that he is physically incapable of being one's best leading to poor self esteem and severe mental distress? I personally believe some men just happen to place more value on sexually pleasing their lovers. Some people value money more than others. I wouldn't say they are mentally unhealthy people because of it. Imagine telling a Donald trump type personality that places great importance on money, power, and fame that he is physically incapable of ever achieving that one thing that is most important to him. Who knows why it's so important to him. But I would be willing to bet he'd struggle through life just like a person with SPS. For some men, just being between the minimum requirement and the maximum requirement is fine. But for those of us that want to be in the ideal range, naturally we are going to be upset when we aren't. But I would agree that if it does get to a point of severe distress (suicidal thoughts) there is most likely other mental health issues contributing.

taiji, i've gotta agree with much of what you said. smart and ambitious people will suffer if/when circumstances are not in their favor.

and you did mention that you wouldn't wanna be ignorant even tho it's blissful, my position is different on this, and most of the time i wish i was dumb as a rock with absolutely no ambition.

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