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OK now I'm pissed.


Guest glennj

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The women in the quotes are being disrespectful and talking about men as if they were objects. This is not okay to me. I do wonder if reading this type of thing over and over again may be desensitizing and some of you may begin to think of yourselves as objects. :( You are human beings and deserve to be treated with respect.

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Oh, God, I don't. Menstrual cycle? Childbirth? Hot flashes? Too dangerous to leave the house at night in most cities? No thanks.

That's it? I'll take all those over what I've been through any day. The last one is bogus anyway. You don't have to live in a city.

To be the one who decides who I have sex with and when, to not have to worry about approaching someone to get a date. To not have to worry about being rejected at the worst moment.

If you asked women this question "Say you had to start your life over again from the beginning only this time you are given two options, to live your life again as a woman with all the things you've had to bear as a woman or be born as a man with a small penis"

Which do you think they would choose?

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That's it? I'll take all those over what I've been through any day. The last one is bogus anyway. You don't have to live in a city.

To be the one who decides who I have sex with and when, to not have to worry about approaching someone to get a date. To not have to worry about being rejected at the worst moment.

If you asked women this question "Say you had to start your life over again from the beginning only this time you are given two options, to live your life again as a woman with all the things you've had to bear as a woman or be born as a man with a small penis"

Which do you think they would choose?

you're missing some points here, glenn.

what you're essentially saying is that if you had most of your current mental and psychological traits but were in a woman's body, it would be better.

women think differently than us. the things that matter most to us might not matter as much to them, and what matters most to them might not matter as much to us.

you gotta take these things into consideration.

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you're missing some points here, glenn.

what you're essentially saying is that if you had most of your current mental and psychological traits but were in a woman's body, it would be better.

women think differently than us. the things that matter most to us might not matter as much to them, and what matters most to them might not matter as much to us.

you gotta take these things into consideration.

Probably wouldn't have my current mental and psychological traits if I was a woman.

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I came across this rant and now I want to kill somebody.

--------------------------------------------

I know we're all tired of small dicks, but I feel like I need to comment on the topic because I accidentally started a bit of a shitstorm this weekend. NYCyclist wrote a great post curating badass responses to sexual harassment. Several call-backers focused on the dick size of their harassers. This reminded me of a post from a while ago, by Tadpole, arguing that we shouldn't use dick size for cheap shots; that it's a form of body snarking and thus not cool. I disagree with his position, but not so vehemently that I don't respect his right to hold it: Tadpole, I didn't mean to cause a pile-up on you. I know from experience how stressful they can be, especially when the topic is one that you have a personal stake in.

I had a busy weekend and couldn't respond to the comments (I still haven't read them all, because after Cyclist's post got mainpaged they went kind of crazy), but I'd like to say a tiny bit about my view and the reason I wrote that comment.

Because the thing is, my view isn't the weaker view that dick size disparagement is OK when a particular guy has made the conversation about his dick, it's the stronger view that dick size disparagement is OK pretty much whenever a guy is being a dick.

Many people disagree with this. The arguments are typically of one of these forms:

—You're supporting the patriarchy by implicitly endorsing the view that small dick = bad; you're saying that men are right to be so obsessed with their phalluses. As one commenter eloquently put it, "Using it as an insult is using the patriarchy to your own (very brief) personal advantage while promoting a system that disadvantages all of us."

—You're hurting innocent bystanders: good, small-dicked men will be made insecure by your perpetuation of Dick Culture.

—Reductio: If it's OK to resort to small-dick talk, it's OK to resort to racial/homophobic/etc. slurs. You know that's not OK, so....

—All body snarking is the same: If it's not OK to call a woman fat when she pisses you off, it's not OK to comment on a guy's (possible) dick size.

Here's what I think: Yeah, it's reinforcing the small dick = bad view, which is fucking central to patriarchal thought. And you know what? I don't give a shit.

Women face more violence, institutionalized cruelty, and discrimination than any living creature should have to face. It has consequences in massive amounts of fear and pain. You know, I was raped for the first time when I was 13. I've been harassed virtually every day since I was 12. I've been fired because I wouldn't sleep with my boss, after countless goodnight hugs that involved him pressing my ass against his erection. I have had to work twice as hard as my male colleagues to get the same respect. I earned respect. They came in with it. And this shit hurts. It sucks to live with fear and pain as constants in your life — and you know what? For a long time you don't even know they're there.

Men made the dick-obsessed world I live in. MEN. And it is asking too much of me, after having my life ruled by dicks, to not hit where it hurts when I want to cause hurt. And where it hurts is below the belt — and that's not my fault. I'll trade in "not reinforcing the patriarchy" for playing dirty when I want to. I think this is actually similar to fashion models reinforcing the patriarchy while earning their livelihood. You do what you have to do.

And I don't really give a shit about the bystanders. The innocent men, worried about their dick size. Guys, work it out among yourselves. Fight the obsession with phalluses. But don't make it my responsibility. I have too much else to worry about, and you have so much, SO MUCH, that I will never have, just because you got born with one of those things (small as it may be).

Now, a bunch of people jumped on the then why not use racial slurs???? bandwagon. I think this is crap. Look, making fun of a guy's possible dick size is unfair. I grant that, 100%. It's playing dirty. But it's playing dirty with an oppressors' characteristic that HE made into a sign of potency. It wasn't women who got together and decided a big dick was the closest a human person could get to omnipotency. When you use a racial slur (or homophobic, or transphobic, or fatphobic), you're playing dirty with a characteristic that belongs not to an oppressive group, but an oppressed group. I think this is a crucial difference. In both cases, you want to hit where it hurts. But in using a racial slur, you're contributing to the oppression of a group that's already been massively fucked over. And don't tell me small-dicked men form an oppressed class. Seriously, don't.

Lastly, all body snarking is not the same. I'm sure it sucks to have a small dick. You know what sucks for women? Having any body at all. There is no such thing as a good female body, and the culture will never allow us the relaxation that comes from thinking, "I'm OK. As I am, I'm OK." From infancy we're told how flawed we are; from puberty, how filthy. We're fat and gross. Our vaginas smell like tuna, supposedly, and they have hair that they shouldn't have (no hair except eyebrows and head hair, ladies. Never forget, except we probably can't after middle school). If we're skinny enough we probably don't have big enough breasts; if we're curvy we might have cankles. Thousands of girls and women are dying from eating disorders (I came close to being one of them, when I dropped to 85 lbs on a 5'8 frame).

And dick size isn't even obvious, like fat and breast size! Fuck! When we make these comments, it's so easy to NOT take them personally unless you've dropped your pants in front of us. We can't hide our breasts like you do your precious dick!

In short, I just can't feel that as a feminist I have to be a saint. When a man is a jerk, I want to be rude and unfair once in a while. I could just stick to the arguments, or educate him about how he's an ass, but sometimes I want to hit below the belt. He's the one who made, to my detriment, the dick size issue so important. So I'm going to use it against him whenever I want.

-------------------------------------------------

ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I tried to reason with the bitch who wrote the article, but you can't teach a feminist new tricks.

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Sorry for that disgusting post yesterday. My anger comes up when I post here.

Of course, it came across as "women are liars"...that's not what I mean at all. I didn't mean it to read that way. I did want to delete the post, as you can see, but my post was immediately quoted.

Some women don't care about size - that's true - but my personal experience leads me to believe that they are capable in the future of caring about size, not just in an objectifiying way but as an aspect of love.

That describes times when I've been in love on two occasions.

Yet, those girls both had a very different sexual experience after me with their next lovers, and they, and their lovers (my friends) bragged about it to me and everyone I knew.

I'm not trying to say it's about being an object. A penis is a part of a mans body, and if you love the man you love the body. I'm just saying that since his body causes more physical pleasure, she loved it, him and being with him more. It was more exciting, more satisfying.

I guess maybe I'm a little confused here. I don't know.

It's like if you had a toy when you were a child that you loved very much. Then you get older and you get new toys and you throw the old one in a box. When you get older, you might open that box and think about the connection you once had with that toy, but for most of your life you'll basically forget most of the time that it ever existed. This is how I see the concept of "new love".

Many people love more than once, and will say things like "he was my best love" etc. If someone was a "better love", it could be because of many factors. But I see no reason why more exciting and satisfying sex (as can often be most intimate moment of connection between two people) couldn't be one of them.

By chance, me and this woman could have stayed together all our lives. She would never have known that there was a better love out there for her, and may have been perfectly satisfied with me. That's great. Nothing wrong with that.

Mts, I never thought your post was disgusting and I'm glad you didn't delete. I think it's good to express feelings honestly and openly. I have a strong need to be heard at times and I had wanted to express my personal feelings and experience. I respect that others have different experiences. I'm sorry your relationships did not work out. I hope you find happiness in the future.

Take care.

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Trying opening with a joke to lighten the mood, girls love jokes.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've already told her twice.

{Badum bum tish!}

(Disclaimer: This joke in no way reflects my attitude towards women. They're epic. )

We're talking about the bitch who wrote that eloquently titled article

about a year ago.

I think her feminist views would clash with my increasingly misogynistic views.

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Trying opening with a joke to lighten the mood, girls love jokes.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've already told her twice.

{Badum bum tish!}

(Disclaimer: This joke in no way reflects my attitude towards women. They're epic. )

sir, i'm afraid we're still gonna have to sue you.

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