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hi I'm new and in need of some help


Loveangelxox

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Hello I'm Kerry I'm 22 years old and suffering severe depression since I was 18 after I was sexually assaulted by own dad its left me very messed up I been struggling everyday since the constant flashbacks and nightmares and I get very moody a lot taking it out on the ppl I love wen I all I wanna do is take it out on him. I did go to court but was frightened to see his face again so I did the video link were I didn't have to b in same room as him, unfortunately it wasn't enough to send him down so let him go I was devastated and a start to me really falling apart I started to keep indoors and only go out with someone never on my own and then I didn't go out in the dark either.

I used to have a councillor but after a while she quite and I struggled on my own since :(

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Hi Kerry and welcome to our community. I'm so sorry for all that you have been through. :( :( Would it be possible to find a new therapist? Do you have any supportive family or friends? I hope you will continue to reach out and express yourself. Also, if you can, try to be very gentle with yourself. I'm sorry you are hurting. :(

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Even if you have trouble locating another therapist, is there a possibility of finding peer support groups for abuse survivors? Sometimes strangers are easier to talk to than family; it's part of why this site exists. And no one should have to be alone with something as big as this ...

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  • 4 weeks later...

It sounds like you have PTSD (you mentioned flashbacks) I don't know if you just meant memories though. Are there any support groups you can join that are in the area? If you're holding back anger from the incident, you can try different ways to let it out without being violent to yourself, him, or anyone for that matter. If you ever start feeling a bad mood coming on and you want to lash out, stop, take a few minutes to just breathe. Take four deep, slow breaths and if you need to take more then do so. Do you still not go out in the dark?

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