Hello

[taylorin]

Where to start....

My life seems to be derailing at the moment and I am just hanging on from day to day.

Some days I feel like a really shitty human being who shouldn't be taking up space. Others I am able to feel somewhat okay about myself and try to get on with my life. Very, very rarely I feel happy.

The short version of how I got to this spot: Car accident in August (mild traumatic brain injury and a bunch of herniated discs). Break-up with partner in December. Stay in a psych ward following break up that helped some with the depression that I am having. Since then, trying to get on with my life after the stay in the psych ward.

The break up has left me with a lot fewer friends. I am working on making new friends. It is hard to make new friends when you feel lousy about yourself. In spite of me feeling rotten about myself, I have managed to make a couple of new friends. One was a fellow patient in the hospital. He is a good guy and it is nice to have someone to talk to that knows how bad things are. No reason to pretend to him that things are better than they are. The other is someone who is interested in me romantically. Which is nice, but has me worried, because my break up was caused by me being a total jerk in the relationship I was in. I feel like I should say, "Hey, I like you. Do what's best for you and run like hell away from me." Otherwise I am really lonely and find myself relying on hotlines to get through some days. Which makes me feel like an even bigger failure.

So yeah, I am just a ray of sunshine lately.....

[Victimorthecrime]

Sometimes you have to prioritize you and put relationships on the bench for a while. Give yourself a chance to heal. Then when you 'get back out there' you won't fall into the same old patterns.

[Resolute]

hi taylorin, and welcome to the community. i'm sorry you're going through such a rough time, specially the car accident etc.. hope you feel better soon.