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SPS and masculinity


Lukaz
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Personally the whole small penis thing doesn't really effect how a feel as a man in general. While I am not terribly macho, I workout and am in decent shape. I don't at all feel feminine because of my shortcomings. I just feel I don't measure up to other men in the pants, just as perhaps someone who is very short in stature wouldn't feel feminine because of being short.

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You know what is really funny taking about this subject is that when I was in H.S. there was this kid who was just a total effiminate guy and I will never forget the day I saw this very sissy acting boy in the showers in gym class. I think this kid probably had to have special pants made for himself whe was so fucking huge down there......Today I know this guy is openly gay and living in S.F. and I am sure he is quite popular among his peers.

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And it is quite interesting that 30 some years out of high school I still can remember clear as day the boys in gym class who were the penis extremes, from the kids in Jr. High who were hung like porn stars to all the poor bastards like me who had a rough life ahead of them. So I guess if that holds true for most others I guess at my last class reunion perhaps a couple guys may have just made the mental note of me being one of the tiny cock kids.

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I think this is an interesting topic. To answer your question personally, I do not feel less masculine because of my penis size, because I do not associate my body or anyone else's body with masculinity. Masculinity is an abstract construct, but it really does affect much of our lives and actions as men.

I am slightly above average in height, I have plenty of body and head hair, and I am physically strong and athletic(although significantly overweight). In these aspects I am very lucky, and this contributes to my own personal life experiences and how I analyze this question you are raising. It was rare that anyone question my masculinity growing up, because to most others it was always about outward appearance. To me, it was always about my athletic performance and competition. I could/can physically impose my will on my peers while playing (mostly) soccer, basketball, and football/rugby, so this is why I internally do not have trouble feeling masculine. It's also important for me to realize on a primal level that this is also influenced by me being bigger and stronger than most other men and not having to worry about being in a fight because nobody ever wants to mess with me.

Now my small penis does cause me mental anguish when it comes to pleasing a woman, but this necessitates a semantic discussion as to what is masculinity? It's obviously a personal question, but I believe that masculinity is a social construct, in that it is not physical/tangible in nature, and it involves collective perception(what the group thinks). Me pleasing a woman, outside of our dreaded "kiss-and-tell" scenarios, is a private interpersonal issue between me and my partners, so it's not really a question of me feeling less masculine, but maybe less adequate or lowering self-worth. The more I learn about masculinity and gender issues, though, the more I am comforted in the facts that: A.) Masculinity as it is internally understood by many men is a complete crock of shit that damages us all. B.) that I can feel as masculine as I want because I can choose what it means to me, and C.) that female pleasure/contentment is determined by a multitude of factors, which is most primarily driven by their mind comprehending both physical stimulation of their clitoris(which ain't hiddent deep in the vagina) and the entirety of their body and self and connection with their partner. This idea that "big dick = great sex" is a symptom of the same bullshit related to "masculinity = taking control of your women and putting her in her place", and it hurts the entire world. If lesbians can have mind blowing sex/orgasms, why can't we do the same?

And one minor(for this audience) thing that bothered me about your post...

Weirdly about 5 years ago I was talking to what I thought was a guy with decent stubble and deep-ish voice who told me she was a female to male transexual. She did laugh when I said she could grow a better beard than me (although I avoided asking her how much her genitalia had changed to preserve my sanity). How can a woman on testosterone look more manly than a man on it? I find this whole thing bizarre.

trans issues are kind of new in the mainstream, but it's actually pretty easy courtesy to refer to someone by their preferred gendered pronouns. Sex is biology, gender is a choice. It is always up to the person, but it's common sense that if a trans man goes to the degree of growing stubble, having a low pitched voice, and visually "passing" as a man, you should refer to that person as a man. Like I said, it's just good courteous behavior, and the members of this board should understand as well as anyone the troubles of defining a person solely by their anatomical features.

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