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StillHere4000
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Hello Everyone,

I found this site through Google and wanted to learn from others with a similar experience. Like everyone else posting I am not well endowed and it has me deeply depressed. I have never been with a woman due to fears of embarrassment. On top of that, when erect it does not stay straight up when lying on my back. The only thing that prevents me from suicide is I have too many people in my life I would be letting down. Everyday i am not living but pushing through to get to bed and wake up again. If anyone has advice or similar threads they can point me to I would appreciate it.

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How old are you? I will not ask your size because it doesn't matter. You obvioulsy are small enough for it to ruin your life. All I can tell you is this. Believe it or not despite what you hear everywhere loudly in hour culture that size matters, there are actually women out there who look at the complete individual and cock size does not make or break the deal. I am fortunate to have found someone whom I have been married to for 25 years. Now if she were ever to leave me I would be a middle aged man looking to date with a very small cock and probably would have a hell of a time and wouldn't be surprised if I never dated again.

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I think your size does matter, because there's a difference between thinking you're too small with, say, a 5.5" erection, versus a 3.5" one. If you have 5+", my advice is to let yourself be a Casanova without any apology or reservations. I only learned that lesson in my 40s in my post-divorce dating (note to TimmyStan). I wish I hadn't wasted my early years away being so shy over my dick. It turns out a lot of women would have liked to get at it even though I didn't believe it.

Actually, I think you should try with women no matter what your size is. Ultimately that's all you can do. You may have some fun. .. and maybe even find your soul mate While you endure some possible humiliation.

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my advice is to let yourself be a Casanova without any apology or reservations.

That's pretty much what I've decided to do. I figure in the long run, the regret of not just saying "fuck it" and getting as much ass as I possibly can, will be worse than my size insecurity is now.

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On top of that, when erect it does not stay straight up when lying on my back.

??? I don't think anybody's penis does that because of gravity. Standing up, it sticks out perpen-dick-ular(sorry) from your body, but when you are lying on your back it is completely normal for it to lay down flat on your body pointing towards your head. Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you're saying, but that's just how dicks work.

Also I'm glad that you are seeking support from us, and I hope you find peace in life. Suicide is never a solution for anything, and it sounds like you know that there are many people in life that care about you. The funny thing with how real life women(really just people in general) work is that there are many out there who would be perfectly happy with you as a partner regardless of your size, if only they could understand who you are and feel like you understand them. That's what people actually want in life and in relationships; shared understanding, companionship, and the knowledge that there is someone out there who loves you more than you love yourself. Not everybody wants mind blowing orgasms first and foremost, but people do want to be with happy people, and it's important that you don't hate yourself too much(or at least broadcast this to others) because it makes it difficult for someone to love you. People inherently think about themselves and internalize the actions of other people. If a woman is around you and you are acting all depressed, it's going to make them think that you are not interested in them or they are boring you.

You're old enough where women your age are probably not just looking for casual, no-strings-attached sex, so my recommendation to you is to make yourself available and try to go on dates with women. Just make sure that take your time to jump into bed with them. If you can tell that you don't have a connection with them, or you can tell that they don't care about you beyond physically(which will be apparent if they are not willing to take time before becoming intimate), then you don't have to have sex with them. As men, we are told that it is our duty to always want sex and to initiate sex and take control in the bedroom. This is pure patriarchal hogwash. You should make sure you find a good emotional match with a person before you show her your penis, because if you find a person who cares about you and knows you care about them, a small penis is not going to be any issue at all. The penis is just one part of the body, and lesbians have mind blowing sex without one at all, so why shouldn't someone with a small penis be able to have mutually enjoyable sex with someone?

You will fail in dating, it is inevitable, but that will happen before you reveal your body anxiety, and you should also be selective in who you are interested in and share your insecurity with. Every person on this Earth has insecurities, especially women. Ariana Grande doesn't like to be photographed from the right side, and she's an international sex symbol. So know that you're not alone, and(assuming you don't have any diseases or maladies) there is absolutely nothing wrong with your body. We are all different and you need to find a way to love or else life is boring and lonely.

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As men, we are told that it is our duty to always want sex and to initiate sex and take control in the bedroom. This is pure patriarchal hogwash.

i don't think anyone ever said that it's a man's 'duty' to always want sex, but it's generally accepted (and true for most healthy men) that we do always want sex.

That's what people actually want in life and in relationships; shared understanding, companionship, and the knowledge that there is someone out there who loves you more than you love yourself.

no, that's what 'some' people want, not people in general, and certainly not all people.

... because if you find a person who cares about you and knows you care about them, a small penis is not going to be any issue at all.

i bet jessie (and some of the others) would strongly disagree.

The penis is just one part of the body, and lesbians have mind blowing sex without one at all, so why shouldn't someone with a small penis be able to have mutually enjoyable sex with someone?

because straight women are not lesbians, and they enjoy (for some it is paramount) the feeling of 'fullness' etc. (jessie can explain it better).

and(assuming you don't have any diseases or maladies) there is absolutely nothing wrong with your body. We are all different....

yeah, except some of us are more different, and some less different.

... and you need to find a way to love or else life is boring and lonely.

and if you do find a way to love, you'll be sorry that you did, one day. so you're screwed either way.

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i don't think anyone one ever said that it's a man's 'duty' to always want sex, but it's generally accepted (and true for most healthy men) that we do always want sex.

You're kind of proving my point. Men are complex emotional beings just as much as women are, so while on a primal level I may want to have sex with every curvy thing, I still have desire for an emotional connection with someone that also drives me towards sex. It's important for someone to recognize the two, so that they don't go seeking for an emotional attachment from someone who's only concerned with the primal. And it should also be "generally accepted" that women always want sex, because they desire sex just as much as men do.

no, that's what 'some' people want, not people in general, and certainly not all people.

because straight women are not lesbians, and they enjoy (for some it is paramount) the feeling of 'fullness' etc. (jessie can explain it better).

You make a good point that I cannot speak for everyone, but then you do it yourself. So straight women need fullness... what proportion of straight women require fullness to achieve happiness? Don't answer, because I don't care because I know you can't read minds. People are different, and they want different things. The problem with the majority of the people on this board is not the fullness that some women desire, because for every desire there is a rainbow-colored plastic tool, but what all of our pride is willing to accept when it comes to being a man, a husband, and a considerate partner. IDK about the rest of you, but If my woman loves me and has a desire for more fullness than I have to offer, I'd put the damn thing on and give it to her. And she would/will be happy with me.

and if you do find a way to love, you'll be sorry that you did, one day. so you're screwed either way.

I feel really sorry for you if you believe this. I'm watching my grandparents experience the twilight of their lives and you're just so wrong. Love is unfathomably great, and just because we have small penises does not mean we are destined for loneliness and disappointment. That's self-hatred talking, my advice to you is to root that shit, because hating anyone, especially yourself, is not good for you or for the world.

As an aside, whenever I read this board I'm usually reminded of the ending of the movie Contact. Replace searching for extraterrestrial life in endless, empty space with searching for love in a massive world seemingly devoid of love for us.

Spoilers for the movie Contact...

Alien: You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.

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... It's important for someone to recognize the two, so that they don't go seeking for an emotional attachment from someone who's only concerned with the primal.

i agree completely.

And it should also be "generally accepted" that women always want sex, because they desire sex just as much as men do.

i couldn't disagree more.

1- for every desire there is a rainbow-colored plastic tool, but what all of our pride is willing to accept when it comes to being a man, a husband, and a considerate partner. IDK about the rest of you, but If my woman loves me and has a desire for more fullness than I have to offer, I'd put the damn thing on and give it to her. 2- And she would/will be happy with me.

1- you're right, it is a matter of pride, some men can't accept being replaced (even temporarily) by a dildo/strap-on/extension.

2- she might just be happy with the strap-on/extension, and not with you. and a 'tool' can't replace a real penis, so the chances of such women cheating, are significant.

I feel really sorry for you if you believe this. I'm watching my grandparents experience the twilight of their lives and you're just so wrong. Love is unfathomably great, and just because we have small penises does not mean we are destined for loneliness and disappointment. That's self-hatred talking, my advice to you is to root that shit, because hating anyone, especially yourself, is not good for you or for the world.

my statement was unrelated to penis size, it was about human nature, and the hard facts of life; that there are no guarantees in life, and anytime you open up your heart to someone, you risk having it broken (very badly even), regardless of your penis size. this makes pursuing 'love' a logically/intellectually questionable behavior, for anyone (unless you're one of those who prefer 'to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all' garbage, or 'what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger' crap). of course finding true love -that doesn't lead to heartbreak- does happen to some, but so does winning the lottery.

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I feel that opening our hearts up to others is one big reason why we're alive. True, it's risky, but not trying and living in fear of what might happen is closing ourselves off to the full experience, I feel. Not that it's easy and these are just my personal thoughts but I could never be sorry for caring about another human being, no matter the outcome. This is what brings me joy in life. I understand and respect if you feel differently, res...just wanted to share.

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I feel that opening our hearts up to others is one big reason why we're alive. True, it's risky, but not trying and living in fear of what might happen is closing ourselves off to the full experience, I feel. Not that it's easy and these are just my personal thoughts but I could never be sorry for caring about another human being, no matter the outcome. This is what brings me joy in life. I understand and respect if you feel differently, res...just wanted to share.

ah, yes, the elusive 'full experience (that also has a happy outcome/ending)'....

what i'm trying to say is that, although 'true love' is great, it's virtually unattainable. sure some people find it, but the odds aren't in anyone's favor, just like gambling, you might actually win, but in the end 'the house always/usually wins'.

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It doesn't necessarily have a happy ending, no. I lost a friend some years ago and was absolutely heartbroken, but I would not change anything. i learned a lot and appreciate the time we shared in our friendship. Maybe too there is happiness to find in connecting with our own love and knowing that we are caring beings, even when there is loss. I wasn't just referring to romantic relationships either, but to all relationships where we love others. It's one thing that I really like about myself, that I will choose to love. I can't drive over scary bridges ( :o), but I do open my heart up to caring about others. I have a friend who taught me to not try and control the outcome but rather to enjoy the journey. I think I have made great improvements in this thanks in part to his words of wisdom.

I do understand the fear of loss and/or of being hurt. I have felt that too and still do at times. I have decided to put myself out there and make friends and what happens, will.

Offering my thoughts and experience. Your mileage may vary. Take care, resolute.

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