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State of Mind VS State of Life


Victimorthecrime
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My question is, when someone is relatively happy and well adjusted, how much of that is due to their attitude, their actions, their thought processes versus the externals of their life that they have largely been given such as looks, health, wealth, familial support, analytical intelligence, etc?

I really want to know because I go back and forth on this. We have all seen cases where someone who seemingly has everything has such an awful and negative attitude that they go into decline. Michael Jackson, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse and even my beloved Jerry Garcia come to mind.

On the other hand there are folks that don't appear to have much but just seem to bounce through life. Their positive attitude and engagement to the moment propels them forward. Maybe that is what I need to work on. The problem is I feel I have tried to do this with limited success to say the least but maybe I am just doing it wrong?

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  • 10 months later...

I think that a positive attitude/ outlook, openess, sense of gratitude is very important. I don't think that has to mean a person won't suffer or struggle or fall into a negative mindset at times either, but their prevailing outlook on life might help them find their way back into the light during dark times. Not always easy.

 

[On a side note, I once rode to church in some kind of taxi (it was unusual, though I can't recall exactly as it was 10 years ago now) with the doctor in the clip. Also I heard Janeway speak (can't recall her real name or anything she said actually) at a convention.]

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35 minutes ago, IrmaJean said:

I think that a positive attitude/ outlook, openess, sense of gratitude is very important. I don't think that has to mean a person won't suffer or struggle or fall into a negative mindset at times either, but their prevailing outlook on life might help them find their way back into the light during dark times. Not always easy.

i think that delusion and denial are invaluable tools for having a "good life". having positive attitudes/ outlooks on truly negative things should be very effective in deluding oneself. being grateful for nothing good is also a great means for accomplishing this task.

indeed, delusion and denial are the only things that can help people escape darkness and find their way into the light.

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18 minutes ago, Resolute said:

i think that delusion and denial are invaluable tools for having a "good life". having positive attitudes/ outlooks on truly negative things should be very effective in deluding oneself. being grateful for nothing good is also a great means for accomplishing this task.

indeed, delusion and denial are the only things that can help people escape darkness and find their way into the light.

Res, I am not saying darkness doesn't exist or to deny pain or pretend it doesn't hurt. We will have those experiences and fully feel them. And of course negative things do exist and we can acknowledge this is truth. But I think if we are open to seeing what is good as well, it can help us to get back up again. I think if during our deepest pain, we can also find things to be grateful for, it can be helpful. I don't see that as delusion, I see it as balance.

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1 hour ago, IrmaJean said:

Res, I am not saying darkness doesn't exist or to deny pain or pretend it doesn't hurt. We will have those experiences and fully feel them. And of course negative things do exist and we can acknowledge this is truth.

we're on the same page so far.

 

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But I think if we are open to seeing what is good as well, it can help us to get back up again.

here is where we part ways, however. i see negativity/evil as inherent to existence because existence is unnecessary (has no significant purpose or meaning), and any unnecessary thing is necessarily bad/evil/negative. this leaves no room for any real good or actual positivity (good/positivity are contrary to existence). the only thing that even comes close to good is the relative absence of evil, i.e., less evil than usual (or as little evil as possible).

 

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I think if during our deepest pain, we can also find things to be grateful for, it can be helpful. I don't see that as delusion, I see it as balance.

it is possible for some people to feel grateful for short bursts of "joy", i.e., less pain, but it's not possible for everyone. people who have experienced an excess of pain and or those who seek true meaning and purpose in life (conscious existence), are examples of people who will probably never be able to be happy or "grateful", as there is nothing for which to be grateful, and realistically, any existence is worse than nonexistence (because nonexistence/nothingness needs no purpose, meaning or justification, whereas existence does).

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1 hour ago, IrmaJean said:

I have known some people who have experienced immense pain and great loss in their lifetime who were also grateful. I can understand it isn't always possible for everyone, but it is possible.

i'll try to not dwell on the fact that you disregarded the rest of my post, and i'll ask you this question: why were these people grateful (what were they grateful for)?

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13 hours ago, Resolute said:

i think that delusion and denial are invaluable tools for having a "good life". having positive attitudes/ outlooks on truly negative things should be very effective in deluding oneself. being grateful for nothing good is also a great means for accomplishing this task.

Ok let me ask you a question. Forget about positive attitude. do you believe that rational, objective, logical thinking can sometimes help someone to improve their situation and be more satisfied, at least for a time in life? 

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2 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

Ok let me ask you a question. Forget about positive attitude. do you believe that rational, objective, logical thinking can sometimes help someone to improve their situation and be more satisfied, at least for a time in life? 

i guess so, but this has very limited applications, and still cannot work without an element of delusion, denial or just plain ignorance.

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  • 3 months later...

I figured I would post this here because something happened this week that definitely impacted my state of mind.

i googled the name of an old girlfriend from many many years ago. Turns out she had gotten arrested in 2001 for "parole violation - drugs" is what it read.

She was listed as being 5'5" and 115 lbs which sounds light to me and I found that worrisome. But what really upset me was the thought of her being confused and afraid while under arrest. 

She is not a bad person or a threat to society so why this website feels compelled to publicly shame and humiliate her is beyond my imagination.  

 

 

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I'm sorry that your friend has struggled with addiction and that her name was publicized. :( I hope her situation has improved and things are better for her now.

Why not reach out and tell her you've been thinking about her? 

What does wolf represent to you?

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