Victimorthecrime Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 My question is, when someone is relatively happy and well adjusted, how much of that is due to their attitude, their actions, their thought processes versus the externals of their life that they have largely been given such as looks, health, wealth, familial support, analytical intelligence, etc? I really want to know because I go back and forth on this. We have all seen cases where someone who seemingly has everything has such an awful and negative attitude that they go into decline. Michael Jackson, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse and even my beloved Jerry Garcia come to mind. On the other hand there are folks that don't appear to have much but just seem to bounce through life. Their positive attitude and engagement to the moment propels them forward. Maybe that is what I need to work on. The problem is I feel I have tried to do this with limited success to say the least but maybe I am just doing it wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding my way Posted April 28, 2015 Report Share Posted April 28, 2015 A tough but in the end positive work is to recognize the ways a person is being cruel to themselves. Until that light turns on, a person can see cruelty in others but not count what we do to ourselves. http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/geese/geese.htmlWishing you well today, V. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted March 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 I think that a positive attitude/ outlook, openess, sense of gratitude is very important. I don't think that has to mean a person won't suffer or struggle or fall into a negative mindset at times either, but their prevailing outlook on life might help them find their way back into the light during dark times. Not always easy. [On a side note, I once rode to church in some kind of taxi (it was unusual, though I can't recall exactly as it was 10 years ago now) with the doctor in the clip. Also I heard Janeway speak (can't recall her real name or anything she said actually) at a convention.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 35 minutes ago, IrmaJean said: I think that a positive attitude/ outlook, openess, sense of gratitude is very important. I don't think that has to mean a person won't suffer or struggle or fall into a negative mindset at times either, but their prevailing outlook on life might help them find their way back into the light during dark times. Not always easy. i think that delusion and denial are invaluable tools for having a "good life". having positive attitudes/ outlooks on truly negative things should be very effective in deluding oneself. being grateful for nothing good is also a great means for accomplishing this task. indeed, delusion and denial are the only things that can help people escape darkness and find their way into the light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 18 minutes ago, Resolute said: i think that delusion and denial are invaluable tools for having a "good life". having positive attitudes/ outlooks on truly negative things should be very effective in deluding oneself. being grateful for nothing good is also a great means for accomplishing this task. indeed, delusion and denial are the only things that can help people escape darkness and find their way into the light. Res, I am not saying darkness doesn't exist or to deny pain or pretend it doesn't hurt. We will have those experiences and fully feel them. And of course negative things do exist and we can acknowledge this is truth. But I think if we are open to seeing what is good as well, it can help us to get back up again. I think if during our deepest pain, we can also find things to be grateful for, it can be helpful. I don't see that as delusion, I see it as balance. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 1 hour ago, IrmaJean said: Res, I am not saying darkness doesn't exist or to deny pain or pretend it doesn't hurt. We will have those experiences and fully feel them. And of course negative things do exist and we can acknowledge this is truth. we're on the same page so far. Quote But I think if we are open to seeing what is good as well, it can help us to get back up again. here is where we part ways, however. i see negativity/evil as inherent to existence because existence is unnecessary (has no significant purpose or meaning), and any unnecessary thing is necessarily bad/evil/negative. this leaves no room for any real good or actual positivity (good/positivity are contrary to existence). the only thing that even comes close to good is the relative absence of evil, i.e., less evil than usual (or as little evil as possible). Quote I think if during our deepest pain, we can also find things to be grateful for, it can be helpful. I don't see that as delusion, I see it as balance. it is possible for some people to feel grateful for short bursts of "joy", i.e., less pain, but it's not possible for everyone. people who have experienced an excess of pain and or those who seek true meaning and purpose in life (conscious existence), are examples of people who will probably never be able to be happy or "grateful", as there is nothing for which to be grateful, and realistically, any existence is worse than nonexistence (because nonexistence/nothingness needs no purpose, meaning or justification, whereas existence does). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 I have known some people who have experienced immense pain and great loss in their lifetime who were also grateful. I can understand it isn't always possible for everyone, but it is possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 1 hour ago, IrmaJean said: I have known some people who have experienced immense pain and great loss in their lifetime who were also grateful. I can understand it isn't always possible for everyone, but it is possible. i'll try to not dwell on the fact that you disregarded the rest of my post, and i'll ask you this question: why were these people grateful (what were they grateful for)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted March 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 13 hours ago, Resolute said: i think that delusion and denial are invaluable tools for having a "good life". having positive attitudes/ outlooks on truly negative things should be very effective in deluding oneself. being grateful for nothing good is also a great means for accomplishing this task. Ok let me ask you a question. Forget about positive attitude. do you believe that rational, objective, logical thinking can sometimes help someone to improve their situation and be more satisfied, at least for a time in life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 2 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said: Ok let me ask you a question. Forget about positive attitude. do you believe that rational, objective, logical thinking can sometimes help someone to improve their situation and be more satisfied, at least for a time in life? i guess so, but this has very limited applications, and still cannot work without an element of delusion, denial or just plain ignorance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 1 hour ago, Klingcorn said: Give it up, Resolute. We're "malingerers" and "idle arses". you know, for a moment i thought it was "maligners" lol. i was like "what does malign have to do with any of this?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 I didn't think we were on different sides here...we're all trying to find our way. I had written up a response, Resolute, but I'm not sure it would be helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted March 25, 2016 Report Share Posted March 25, 2016 2 hours ago, IrmaJean said: I didn't think we were on different sides here...we're all trying to find our way. i meant different views. 2 hours ago, IrmaJean said: I had written up a response, Resolute, but I'm not sure it would be helpful. nothing is helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted July 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2016 I figured I would post this here because something happened this week that definitely impacted my state of mind. i googled the name of an old girlfriend from many many years ago. Turns out she had gotten arrested in 2001 for "parole violation - drugs" is what it read. She was listed as being 5'5" and 115 lbs which sounds light to me and I found that worrisome. But what really upset me was the thought of her being confused and afraid while under arrest. She is not a bad person or a threat to society so why this website feels compelled to publicly shame and humiliate her is beyond my imagination. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted July 16, 2016 Report Share Posted July 16, 2016 maybe it's another person with the same name. identity theft is also not unheard of. however, are you positive it's not true? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted July 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2016 Hey Res. Well it's the same area where she lives and her first name is rather unusual and frankly she did have a drug problem so I am 99 percent sure it is her. I would absolutely love to see her again. She literally has been in my dreams along with a wolf by the silver stream. mts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resolute Posted July 16, 2016 Report Share Posted July 16, 2016 i think the wolf would stop you from seeing her lol. anyway, if she did have a drug problem and everything else fits, why do you say that the site was being unfair to her? are you thinking of contacting her, by any chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted July 16, 2016 Report Share Posted July 16, 2016 I'm sorry that your friend has struggled with addiction and that her name was publicized. I hope her situation has improved and things are better for her now. Why not reach out and tell her you've been thinking about her? What does wolf represent to you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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