what is manliness?

[Resolute]

i was hesitant as to which part of the site to start this thread, i finally decided on this sub-forum.

who and what determines what constitutes a real man? and why?

 

EDIT: i added the following link on march 8th, 2016:

 

[Victimorthecrime]

Remember in grade school and junior high some guys were tough, not afraid to fight, good at athletics, not afraid of pissing off the teacher or of any consequences for their infractions? Remember how these guys got girlfriends early and word got out about their sexual conquests? These are the "real men". Why? Because a jury of their peers agreed that they were. It's that simple. That is who other guys wanted to be, to emulate and court favor. No one wanted to be Irwin Milktoast, shy and afraid.

[Lukaz]

.

[malign]

Wow, I like the original question, res.

As for "Because a jury of their peers agreed that they were," I can see how one would have that perception at the time. But now that you're all grownups, are you really going to allow a "jury" of other teenagers to remain the sole deciders of what your manhood means to you?

I mean, you certainly can, and lots of people do. But life doesn't have to be like high school ...

And, after all, many of those "men" have gone on to be wife-beaters and other sorts of losers, particularly when the rest of their lives didn't measure up to their high school experiences. Personally, I think we choose our path, whom we listen to, and why. But that's just what works for me, who was definitely a milquetoast in my teens.

[Resolute]

... Having a small penis does not make me not manly per se, but I feel insecure enough about it to be shy and socially anxious and even think that's I'm a victim of social exclusion which makes me feel I'm not a real man (I guess I'm kinda obsessed with my penis).

i'm obsessed with every aspect of my physical self. there's not an inch (or millimeter) of my body that i find satisfactory.

[Lukaz]

.

[Resolute]

1- Wow, I like the original question, res.

As for "Because a jury of their peers agreed that they were," I can see how one would have that perception at the time. But now that you're all grownups, are you really going to allow a "jury" of other teenagers to remain the sole deciders of what your manhood means to you?

I mean, you certainly can, and lots of people do. But life doesn't have to be like high school ...

And, after all, many of those "men" have gone on to be wife-beaters and other sorts of losers, particularly when the rest of their lives didn't measure up to their high school experiences. 2- Personally, I think we choose our path, whom we listen to, and why. 3- But that's just what works for me, who was definitely a milquetoast in my teens.

1- you didn't think i had it in me, did you malign? maybe because many of my posts seem so shallow on the outside, most people don't realize the amount of reasoning required to reach those "shallow" conclusions.

2- i used to believe that once upon a time, but reality has forced me to change my views. you'd be surprised how little -actual- choice we really have in this horrible world.

3- wwe main event; malign vs. victim! don't miss it . place your bets now....

[Victimorthecrime]

i'm obsessed with every aspect of my physical self. there's not an inch (or millimeter) of my body that i find satisfactory.

Busy on-the-go lifestyle leave you no time for grueling workouts? Then download my free App "Anytime Kegels" and hit the only part that really matters.

[Resolute]

I'm a sexy, popular, hot, hung, guy inside the body of someone who is none of those things... :/

my feelings exactly... i feel like someone with a formula one engine (mind/spirit/soul) and a wagon for a body .

[Resolute]

good one victim.

[Lukaz]

.

[Resolute]

Great metaphor. his is why I'm considering counselling as I know so much of this stuff is in my head.

i hope counseling helps you. i however, am beyond counseling.

[Guest Klingsor]

Maddas epor

[Resolute]

yes, i guess i personally share your view klingsor; the ability to win, dominate (dictate), intimidate, and possess appears to be what determines who is and isn't a man; and the degree to which one is able to exercise these abilities determines how manly one is. that might sound extremely cold, mechanical, and animalistic, but it's certainly what most women respond to, and are instinctively attracted to; and what most men envy in other men.

[Guest Klingsor]

lololololololololollipop

[Guest Klingsor]

Feed a mushroom shit and watch it grow.

[Guest Klingsor]

And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

[Resolute]

I love that word; milquetoast. Reminds me of breakfast.

ya, sort of appetizing.

[Guest Klingsor]

Swoon.

[IrmaJean]

My view? What is real? Man or woman. A person who is true to themselves. (I don't know the correct grammar there, seems the singular/plural tense is off, but you get the gist).

[Resolute]

My view? What is real? Man or woman. A person who is true to themselves. (I don't know the correct grammar there, seems the singular/plural tense is off, but you get the gist).

what does "true to themselves" mean? or what does it mean to you? not grammatically of course .

[IrmaJean]

What does it mean to me? It means be genuine to your heart. Let your light shine. Be yourself.

[Resolute]

and if my light is dead, then what? i embrace the darkness?

[IrmaJean]

Sounds very much like depression, Res. :( I believe your light is still there, but maybe you can't connect with it right now because everything feels so dark. Does anything bring you moments of connection to self? Music? Humor? I would think embrace moments of self-connection and maybe you find your way back to your inner light or at least can be open to the possibility of it. I understand this is easy to write and not easy to do. I'm sorry things feel so dark.

[Resolute]

thanks for your kind words beth, and especially thanks for all the sad faces .