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what is manliness?


Resolute

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  • 10 months later...

i thought this old thread might be a good place to continue this convo:

On Tuesday, March 08, 2016 at 4:37 PM, IrmaJean said:

Could it be possible that some who don't want a relationship are afraid of intimacy and emotional vulnerability? I'm not suggesting that applies to anyone here. Everyone has different needs and I respect that.

i know this is gonna be controversial, but allow me to be blunt (with no intention of offending anyone); here's what i think true manliness means; it must include all of the following (in random order):

- height (above 6').

- a lean and muscular body.

- physical strength.

- the ability to grow facial hair.

- attractive facial features (nice eyes, strong jaw, good teeth, dark eyebrows, etc.).

- waist to chest ratio of 0.75 to 1 or less.

- body hair (in the right places and in proper proportion).

- great health.

- a big and properly functioning penis and proportional testicles.

- stamina.

- high sex drive.

- bravery, boldness, "balls".

- honesty.

- confidence, high self-esteem and self-worth, self-respect, pride, strong personality, etc..

- integrity.

- non cuckold (does not share). we can call it possessiveness and/or protectiveness over his female(s).

- straight (no offense to anyone who isn't).

- fertile (tho this can be a nuisance lol).

- does not limit himself to one woman, and must be able to sleep with many desirable women.

- not poor (and independent).

- dominant and doesn't take orders from others.

- intelligent (clever and knowledgeable).

- preferably, nice thick hair.

- good skin and a somewhat darker complexion (not too pale. tanned, maybe).

- strong will.

- some may disagree with this one: doesn't use condoms or the like.

- i'll add to this list if i think of any more, or if someone reminds me.

 

this doesn't mean that he can't be in a so called relationship, as long as:

- he is seeing other women (preferably not by cheating, but by being in a non monogamous relationship).

- he's tired of all the casual sex and is too old for it.

 

i know that some will say that no one (or almost no one) has all of these traits, but they'd be missing the point.

also, it's futile trying to argue against the fact that real men inherently desire many women. i'm sure there's plenty of evidence of this in fields such as biology (including evolutionary biology), sociology and psychology, not to mention personal experience and observation.

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roger, based on my extensive experience, research, and observation, i can honestly tell you that i am strongly opposed to the belief that (a lean and muscular body, physical strength, the ability to grow facial hair, waist to chest ratio of 0.75 to 1 or less, some body hair, great health, stamina, etc.) can be attained by almost any guy. just because some people have a high metabolism and great genes which either give them all of the above attributes by default, or gives them a good chance at achieving them, doesn't mean that it's realistically achievable for other guys. believe me, if all we needed to do was "hit the gym", we would've done it long ago. how many people with crappy genes do you know have actually accomplished even a fraction of the above?

another thing is that certain things are dependent on other things and wouldn't be of much use by themselves. e.g. a dwarf with a 0.75 to 1.0 waist to chest ratio, nice facial features, good health and so on. or as you've repeatedly seen on this very forum, a guy with a really small willy who has looks, health, etc.. "hitting the gym" won't help these people much.

as to the cuckoldry question, the answer is yes. there are plenty of cuckolds in the world, whether by choice or not.

and lone wolves still interact with others, and have sex. so they must be dominant on such occasions.

you gotta explain the heston thing. i know almost nothing about him.

getting aids isn't as easy as you might think. and personally, i'd be willing to risk it.

and in regards to your last point, i'd say that you're not thinking rationally. first, you know how girls and women are, with their mood swings, inconsistencies, being irrational, and so on. and don't forget all the "headaches" they conveniently get at inconvenient times. and i'm not even gonna mention what happens to women as they age (no offense to anyone. if it helps, men get old and saggy too lol). so unless you were a blind real man, you'd still crave other tail constantly (or at least from time to time).

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i didn't know you were joking about your neighbor's daughter lol. disregard my comment then.

believe me man, i'm an expert on respiratory tract infection suffering. hope you feel better soon.

it's my opinion (from research) that it's generally unhealthy to exercise (among other things) on an empty stomach.

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17 minutes ago, RogerJay said:

The neighbour's daughter part was good! (She may be 20, now that I think about it, but hey!)

careful, she's practically a senior citizen lol. personally, i prefer women between 25 and 45, but hey lol.

do you mean you were joking about something else? i thought it was this part.

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I would like to add my personal thoughts. I enjoy sharing and expressing myself so hopefully no one minds..

Manliness, to me, has zero to do with physical appearance or job and financial status.

He is true to himself.

He is honest.

He has integrity.

He is respectful.

He is strong, but he also is aware of his vulnerability and he is secure enough to allow it to be seen.

He is quietly confident, but he is also aware that he has insecurities at times, as all of us do.

He will voice and stand up for his beliefs.

If he is married and/or has children he loves his family deeply and feels protective of them.

I could write many other thoughts as well, but those would likely speak to traits that I admire in a man.

The first fictional character that comes to my mind is Atticus Finch.

My 2 cents.




 

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1 hour ago, IrmaJean said:

I would like to add my personal thoughts. I enjoy sharing and expressing myself so hopefully no one minds..

Manliness, to me, has zero to do with physical appearance or job and financial status.

He is true to himself.

He is honest.

He has integrity.

He is respectful.

He is strong, but he also is aware of his vulnerability and he is secure enough to allow it to be seen.

He is quietly confident, but he is also aware that he has insecurities at times, as all of us do.

He will voice and stand up for his beliefs.

If he is married and/or has children he loves his family deeply and feels protective of them.

I could write many other thoughts as well, but those would likely speak to traits that I admire in a man.

The first fictional character that comes to my mind is Atticus Finch.

My 2 cents.




 

He is true to himself.

I don't know what this means since I don't know who I am or what I stand for any longer. I'm just trying to make it through the day as painlessly as possible. 

He is honest.

I do value honesty in myself and others. Heck I just made a confession to a colleague earlier about doing a thing she asked me not to do and apologised as I didn't do it out of disrespect to her .

He has integrity.

I do what I say I'm  going to do often however, I am inconsistent in this regard.

He is respectful.

I try to be respectful always.

He is strong, but he also is aware of his vulnerability and he is secure enough to allow it to be seen.

I am very weak and extremely insecure and very aware of the fact.

He is quietly confident, but he is also aware that he has insecurities at times, as all of us do.

No.

He will voice and stand up for his beliefs.

I'm a coward and I don't know what I believe anymore.

If he is married and/or has children he loves his family deeply and feels protective of them.

Not married and I have no kids.
 

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4 hours ago, IrmaJean said:

How do you think you formed ideas about what manliness is? 

how do any (most) of us form ideas about anything (most things)? based on my experiences, observations (of others) and reasoning/interpretation over my 33+ years in this world.

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2 hours ago, IrmaJean said:

I would like to add my personal thoughts. I enjoy sharing and expressing myself so hopefully no one minds..

Manliness, to me, has zero to do with physical appearance or job and financial status.

He is true to himself.

He is honest.

He has integrity.

He is respectful.

He is strong, but he also is aware of his vulnerability and he is secure enough to allow it to be seen.

He is quietly confident, but he is also aware that he has insecurities at times, as all of us do.

He will voice and stand up for his beliefs.

If he is married and/or has children he loves his family deeply and feels protective of them.

I could write many other thoughts as well, but those would likely speak to traits that I admire in a man.

The first fictional character that comes to my mind is Atticus Finch.

My 2 cents.




 

Thought provoking list. Most I agree with, one I don't.  BTW I had to look up Atticus Finch. Guess I never read that book.

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3 hours ago, Resolute said:

how do any (most) of us form ideas about anything (most things)? based on my experiences, observations (of others) and reasoning/interpretation over my 33+ years in this world.

I think a lot of what we learn can happen during our childhood. Our parents are often our biggest role models, I think. We watch them, identify with them, and learn by how they relate to and with one another and with us. 

Atticus Finch voiced and stood up for his beliefs. He was wonderful with his children, very calm, patient, and understanding. The book was required reading for me in school. I didn't see the movie until years later. 

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10 minutes ago, RogerJay said:

But claiming that a woman's appearance has zero to do with her femininity would be, for me, a patronising lie - one which I might tell as a sop to the feelings of women who are badly out of shape, not conventionally pretty, etc. Personally I prefer the brutal truth.

i hope you're never brutally honest with me rj lol.

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4 minutes ago, IrmaJean said:

Are there certain physical traits that I'm attracted to? Sure. But I don't think those physical traits are what makes a man a man. Does this make more sense? 

nope. the traits that make a man - more- attractive to women are what make a man a man. does that make more sense?

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