what is manliness?

[gone]

We're here to listen buddy. I hate you're down today. I was hoping things were still looking up for you.

[Resolute]

@retr0john, things are still "looking up", fortunately, but not in the way that most people would expect.

[gone]

Care to expound? Last I heard you were talking with some relatives?

[Terrorised]

17 minutes ago, Resolute said:

believe me, rj, from the beatings i got from dad throughout my absolutely shitty childhood (i couldn't wait to get older), to the body image issues which started right after puberty and only kept getting worse (i was never good looking in any sense of the word). i struggled with my height, weight, thinning hair (yes, even as a teenager), acne (ridiculously enough, i still get acne, but not as much). basically, i've always been very self-conscious and struggled with bdd. i also started developing all sorts of ailments (physical and psychological) around the age of 18 (tho i've had one or two health problems since birth/childhood), and something new is added to the list every once in a while. not to mention all the financial, social, and even legal problems (staying in a country illegally) i have. so i can honestly say that i've never had even one good day, and i'm more than positive that i never will in this lifetime.

sorry, didn't mean to turn this into another whining thread.

Man. This post almost makes me feel like I have nothing to complain about. I'm sorry Res and I hope things look up for you soon man.

[Resolute]

18 minutes ago, retr0john said:

Care to expound? Last I heard you were talking with some relatives?

ya, i think i'll get some money out of them, and eventually be able to leave the country, which would put me in a position to do certain things, but it still won't fix this lifetime for me.

[Resolute]

18 minutes ago, RogerJolly said:

Yeah, it's all relative.

(Doesn't really help anyone though? The guy who is 50K in debt isn't any happier just because of the existence of another guy who is 500K in debt...so to speak...)

i agree. the guy who's experiencing 80% pain won't feel much better knowing that some other guy is in 95% pain.

[Resolute]

@retr0john, today could actually be worse. i'm seeing some family tonight, and going for a walk afterwards. so, it shouldn't be the worst day, at least on paper.

 

 

 

[IrmaJean]

1 hour ago, retr0john said:

Beth I'm so glad you feel better physically. I've wondered how you were doing. I've been told in the past that "you just don't ask questions or make comments like that."  A lot of times I just keep my pie hole shut cause I'm not sure if I'm out of line or not. Glad your recovery is going well.
 

 

It's okay to ask me anything. I understand it's hard to know, I go through that too. I would let someone know politely if they ever crossed a line, though I think that's unlikely. I truly appreciate that people care. Thank you, Resolute and John. I had a frightening experience with my recovery because of the complications I experienced and was very sick and weak for some time, but I feel great now. It took about 3 months post surgery to feel 100% again. And now, I no longer have all of the symptoms that I had from lugging around such a large fibroid. (No one has asked me if I'm pregnant for months now. )Those symptoms were going on for 10+ years so I am very grateful to be free of them. 

Also, I was not upset about anything anyone posted yesterday or being teased, I was just a little frustrated with myself for not coming across clearly or as I intended to.

Roger, I'm 47 now so I also do the squinting. I recall when the doctor explained to me how " a hardening of the lens was normal as we age." Thank you, I feel soo much better now, doc.  I think that getting older has its positive points too, though. I'm so much more appreciative of everything in my late 40's I think because I have more awareness now.

Terrorised, does anything feel self-connective? I don't know how that might look for you. I like to write, express myself, take walks with my pups, and listen to music. I hope you have support at home.

Res, I'm sorry for what you went through growing up.  Health problems can wear a person down. I hope you feel some peace during your visit with family and from your walk.

Dumb question, but is there a simple way to multi-quote?

[Resolute]

6 minutes ago, IrmaJean said:

 And now, I no longer have all of the symptoms that I had from lugging around such a large fibroid. (No one has asked me if I'm pregnant for months now. )Those symptoms were going on for 10+ years so I am very grateful to be free of them. 

lol. i didn't know people asked you that.

 

6 minutes ago, IrmaJean said:

Also, I was not upset about anything anyone posted yesterday or being teased, I was just a little frustrated with myself for not coming across clearly or as I intended to.

ya, i sort of felt like we were bullying you.

 

6 minutes ago, IrmaJean said:

Roger, I'm 47 now so I also do the squinting. I recall when the doctor explained to me how " a hardening of the lens was normal as we age."

i completely disagree. that's due to bad nutrition (which applies to 99% of the world's population) and/or inferior genes. there are/were people twice your age who never needed glasses (or squinting).

 

6 minutes ago, IrmaJean said:

Res, I'm sorry for what you went through growing up.  Health problems can wear a person down. I hope you feel some peace during your visit with family and from your walk.

thanks .

 

6 minutes ago, IrmaJean said:

Dumb question, but is there a simple way to multi-quote?

you just click the "+" button at the bottom left of each post you wanna quote, and at the end click on the rectangular popup in the bottom right corner of the screen.

[Resolute]

7 hours ago, malign said:

Actually, I don't think it's a waste to invest in something, with no guarantees.  What, in life, has guarantees?  But I realize that that's just my opinion, and that you may have another, or may use that as an argument against living, even. 

exactly!

 

Quote

How many times must a person fail before he realizes there may be no solution?  He may realize that there may be no solution the whole time, and still try;  how else would he find out?

let me rephrase that "how many different "solutions" must a person try before realizing that there actually is no solution?

 

Quote

The flip side is that no matter how many times a person fails, he hasn't proven that there's no solution, just that he isn't trying the right thing.

this might be true if we stayed eternally youthful. an old person who isn't having the time of his life might at least find some comfort reminiscing the good old days. but what of someone who was robbed of his youth, what can possibly comfort him (other than the inevitability of death)?

also, logically, a solution doesn't necessarily exist. so even tho i might not be able to prove conclusively that a solution doesn't exist, i can make very educated presumptions that it doesn't (calibrated probability assessments of sorts).

 

Quote

Beliefs become psychic facts as soon as they are held.  What a fact is, independently of human observers, is a philosophical argument that I don't feel has been concluded satisfactorily yet.  In other words, it's all words;  so we all have to take care how we use them.

independent of human observers, is 1+1=2 a fact?

 

Quote

What I mean about an individual feeling pain because things are not how they wish they were, is that the pain is also a fact, about which probability and statistics have nothing interesting to say.  Does one's pain become more, or less, significant if a survey shows that other people do or don't share that pain?  I think the pain is real, regardless of the facts.  What to do with the pain seems to me to be what we're really discussing, here.

get rid of it.

[gone]

1 hour ago, IrmaJean said:

It's okay to ask me anything. I understand it's hard to know, I go through that too. I would let someone know politely if they ever crossed a line, though I think that's unlikely. I truly appreciate that people care. Thank you, Resolute and John. I had a frightening experience with my recovery because of the complications I experienced and was very sick and weak for some time, but I feel great now. It took about 3 months post surgery to feel 100% again. And now, I no longer have all of the symptoms that I had from lugging around such a large fibroid. (No one has asked me if I'm pregnant for months now. )Those symptoms were going on for 10+ years so I am very grateful to be free of them.

Also, I was not upset about anything anyone posted yesterday or being teased, I was just a little frustrated with myself for not coming across clearly or as I intended to.

Roger, I'm 47 now so I also do the squinting. I recall when the doctor explained to me how " a hardening of the lens was normal as we age." Thank you, I feel soo much better now, doc.  I think that getting older has its positive points too, though. I'm so much more appreciative of everything in my late 40's I think because I have more awareness now.

Terrorised, does anything feel self-connective? I don't know how that might look for you. I like to write, express myself, take walks with my pups, and listen to music. I hope you have support at home.

Res, I'm sorry for what you went through growing up.  Health problems can wear a person down. I hope you feel some peace during your visit with family and from your walk.

Dumb question, but is there a simple way to multi-quote?

I had to laugh as I read this. I've always had 20/15 vision. Good eyesight. But now, the past 10 years or so I can't see s**t close up. If I don't have my reading glasses, everything from about 3 feet and closer is just a blur. If I forget my readers Sarah just rolls her eyes and takes the piece of paper and backs up about 4 feet and holds it. Voilà! I can see it just fine!

 

When I was working it made it hell trying to read blueprints or schematics if I lost or broke my old ones. I always had a backup pair of readers in the truck, or I'd just have to go blind the rest of the day.

[Resolute]

11 minutes ago, retr0john said:

I had to laugh as I read this. I've always had 20/15 vision. Good eyesight. But now, the past 10 years or so I can't see s**t close up. If I don't have my reading glasses, everything from about 3 feet and closer is just a blur. If I forget my readers Sarah just rolls her eyes and takes the piece of paper and backs up about 4 feet and holds it. Voilà! I can see it just fine!

 

When I was working it made it hell trying to read blueprints or schematics if I lost or broke my old ones. I always had a backup pair of readers in the truck, or I'd just have to go blind the rest of the day.

at least you can still see her rolling her eyes, without your glasses lol.

[gone]

Ya, it's like my spidey sense starts tingling when she starts to get a little exasperated with me.

[Resolute]

you've become an expert exasperator haven't you? spidey sense starts tingling lol.

[Victimorthecrime]

3 hours ago, Resolute said:

let me rephrase that "how many different "solutions" must a person try before realizing that there actually is no solution?

also, logically, a solution doesn't necessarily exist. so even tho i might not be able to prove conclusively that a solution doesn't exist, i can make very educated presumptions that it doesn't (calibrated probability assessments of sorts).

These statements boil the argument down to its most simple expression: each person must decide for themselves what they are willing to do or not do, what they can change or not change, and what they can accept or not accept. 

For example say there is a guy in a wheelchair and he hears about a risky and expensive operation that has about a 20% chance of success.  He must decide if this is worth it and then whatever he chooses he will have to decide whether or not to be at peace with the outcome. Obviously if he ends up walking that is easy to accept but if he ends up worse than he was that is much harder to accept and be at peace with. 

Believe me when I tell you there are decisions I made in high school and college and shortly after that I regret, wish I could change, and live everyday w the consequences. Have I accepted it and found peace? The answer is yes but only to a degree. And I am ok w that. 

[Victimorthecrime]

All the dudes from boy bands are sexually attractive to young women. I'll leave it to others to contemplate their manliness. 

[Lantrier]

What is manliness? It's simple: to have sensations from our body.

The fact that I have never be able to have that, means that I am one of the less manliness in the world.

[Victimorthecrime]

@Lantrier explain. 

[Resolute]

7 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

These statements boil the argument down to its most simple expression: each person must decide for themselves what they are willing to do or not do, what they can change or not change, and what they can accept or not accept. 

being a determinist, i would only replace "decide" with "deduce" to avoid confusion, only because "decide" may imply some sort of actual choice or freedom (specially in this sentence: "each person must decide for themselves what they are willing to do or not do" (due to the absence of "can" or "able" etc.).

[Resolute]

1 hour ago, Victimorthecrime said:

@Lantrier explain. 

from what i recall, he feels no sexual penile sensations during intercourse, masturbation etc..

[Resolute]

7 hours ago, RogerJolly said:

I can't really agree about being more appreciative, etc. I hate being over forty! (And the thought of being over fifty...well...I do often wonder whether I wouldn't rather die, quite honestly. But perhaps I shouldn't say that.)

don't worry about it roger. beth is the kind of person who appreciates everything, even pain and suffering (the "everything is a gift" philosophy), so it's no surprise she'd appreciate getting older.

(beth, i'm sure you know i'm not attacking you, your feelings, or your beliefs.)

[Lantrier]

@Victimorthecrime

People looking for someone manly are going to look at the next items (and people who are looking to feel manly).

-penis size (obvious)
-the beauty of the face
-how the body is well done
-insurance of the person
-how fast the person is (eg, dexterity)
-no psychological problems
-no disease
-no problems of moneys
-seducer
-have moral principles
-a decent work with good salaries (not a the bottom)

If someone has all of the following and he has no feelings (sexual ) through his body, all these things will serve nothing: he is going to feel like the person with
the less manliness in the world, like me.

 

[Resolute]

for the life of me, i can't figure out how the hell he managed to "mention" victim's name like that!

(i'm not saying it's better than the regular way, just curious)

[Lantrier]

@Resolute

I just copy/paste the name after @

[Victimorthecrime]

@Lantrier

Thanks for the clarification.  How an adult male could not feel sexual sensation while in contact w a female is beyond my comprehension but I am not the brightest star in the sky. I hope things get better for you.