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Walking Past People Who Are Walking in Same Direction


JS202
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Is it awkward if you have walk past someone who's walking in the same direction as you? Especially if they are female and considerably smaller than me I fear they are going to think I'm stalking them and will attack or something. I'm a fast walker and hate walking slow so I can't just happily walk behind, I have to either turn round walk back and then turn around again and hope they've build up a big enough lead so I can't catch up with them. Or I awkwardly walk past them. One time I walked past a women and she looked at me nervously, I just said "Sorry". She obvously thought I was a creep.

What do you do in this situtation? Is it anxiety provoking for you? Most of the time I'm walking down canal bankings so I can't just cross to the other side like I would be able to if I was walking down a road pavement (Sidewalk).

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Pretend you are talking on a phone. This way they will hear you coming and you will have an excuse for passing quickly if you say something like "yes doctor I'm on my way!". Say it brightly w a bounce in your step.

But I don't even own a phone, there's not really much point when you have zero friends and never go anywhere. It would look weird as hell if someone could see I was pretending to talk down a phone which wasn't even there.

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If your computer has a camera why not talk to people from the safety of the virtual world? Join chat roulette or whatever.

Yeah, that's a good idea. I tried Chatroulette the other day but had to keep clicking 'next' because I thought I looked bad and that people would laugh at me. And after a few minutes, the website said I had to give them my phone number and type the SMS confirmation code whatever that is. As I said before, I don't have a phone.

I tried other websites similar to Chatroulette but on a lot of them you've got to pay. The one's you don't have to pay on mostly consist of men masturbating into the camara or extremly attractive women who are obviously fake bots as they just do the same thing over and over again but never respond to my typing.

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What ideas are you tinkering with to aid in overcoming social anxiety??

Nothing to be honest. I don't have the motivation or bravery to overcome it. I tried using one of those Chatroulette sites the other day, I was waiting about 10 minutes before pressing the button to start, I couldn't do it. And when I eventually started I had to put my finger over the camara. I'm convinced that people will laugh at me and destroy my self esteem even further.

Maybe it's better to accept it and stop trying to overcome it? I think I'm happier when I do that.

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Do you want to have friendships and connections with others, SD92? Does your social anxiety cause you distress? If so, I hope you will continue to challenge yourself. I understand that it's very difficult to confront fears. I have trouble facing my fears too. Example: bridge and highway driving. :o I'm still working on challenging those fears. I feel that one way that we can take some control in our lives, though, is to not let our fears control us. We can encourage each other on this life journey.

I don't have the motivation or bravery to overcome it.

Maybe it helps to not count yourself out? I hear that you don't feel you have the motivation or bravery right now. Possibly this can change if you allow yourself the opportunity?

I'm convinced that people will laugh at me and destroy my self esteem even further.

I hear that you feel afraid that this may happen. Another person's response to you doesn't reflect on who you are as a person. Is there a way to connect with being okay with yourself as you are? It can take time to cultivate such feelings. I think self-care and self-talk can be very important in this. Can you try to treat yourself kindly, as you might treat a friend?

Take care, SD92.

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SD92 - it's hard to explain but other people kind of take lessons off how we treat ourselves to determine how to treat us.

For example when I was younger my self worth was low and a lot of people treated me as something of little value. What changed for me was the realization that no one is better or worse than me; we are all just frightened children putting on whatever display we hope will keep us safe.

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